WHALE DAY UPDATES

Whether Blue or Killer, Sperm or Humpback, Gray or Narwahl – HOORAY WHALES!

-Stories by the hundreds – if not thousands – of loyal and skilled civil servants whose jobs are being chopped by the twentysomething minions working for Pretty Much President Elon Musk are starting to be posted all over social media. From heartbreak over achieving the lifetime dream of becoming a Park Ranger to shocked and stunned Trump voters who cannot believe – CANNOT BELIEVE!! – that their job would be lost and that Dear Leader had to have made a mistake losing their job instead of those “others” – have begun, and the potential for a nowhere-near-a-mandated group of voters who voted Trump in November to start eroding also begins.

-(Yes, Harris voters like yours truly are not at all surprised, but personally, I am trying to hold off on the FAFO/Told-Ya-So-isms that are also prevalent throughout leftie social media. At some point we are going to need those folks to not only vote our way but push back to stop, slow, and repair everything being broken right now. I’ll indulge once in a while, but the long game to me is more important than a pound of flesh here or there.)

-Those cuts are likely to continue, of course, as Republicans in Congress are either MAGA-agog over all the cuts going on (with hardcore MAGAts readying legislation to make Dear Leader’s birthday a national holiday complete with encomiums to Trump’s magnificent long ties and manliest manhood of all manhoods) or, at least in some rumblings, intimidated to the point of fear of physical attacks on themselves or their families. And, always, the wrath of Trump, who in response to the two NO votes that now-impotent Senator Mitch McConnell made against Tulsi Gabbard and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., decided to mock McConnell having had polio as a child, slursmearing that maybe McConnell was lying about the claim.

-And McConnell is one of the reasons Trump is back in the White House. Leopards and eaten faces and all that …

-On the attack on the Government, a memo obtained by the Washington Post revealed that, amid the wide scythe of cuts being made by the government efficiency dolts, there was and is at least one clear strategy: cut any employee not only associated with implementing the loathed-to-MAGA Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policies, but also anyone who they think was likely hired because of DEI programs. The approach is not being hidden, as a mural in a Government office of DEI-inspired artwork was literally painted over with gray pain, and is so obvious that journalists of color are flat-out asking anyone covering such policies to simply say that to MAGA, “DEI” is a substitution for the N-word and that one of the central goals of Musk and by extension Project 2025 is to re-segregate the federal government.

-Considering the country of origin of Elon Musk and the statement that one of the few places where Trump has said he wants to increase immigration is with white South Africans, the argument has merit.

-That these attacks are eliminating human capital with institutional knowledge is obvious, as we have started to terrifyingly see in the skies. A private plane crashed in Georgia, killing two – and that makes the seventh crash since the FAA got rid of an already-depleted group of workers when Trump returned to power. That it has done so with zero rhyme or reason has been exposed this week when the marauding coders told all the workers in the Nuclear Safety Administration – only to realize that firing people who knew how to keep track of things like nuclear fuel and nuclear waste was probably not very smart. So now the government is scrambling to try to re-find some of those people and re-hire them.

-And that doesn’t factor in another gaffe made over the weekend, where these dips wanted to literally show their work and started printing names of employees they probably swore were “woke” – only to then be told names being put on their boss’ Dumpster-fire garbage scow social media site “X” were classified, and that exposing the names may very well have put them in mortal physical danger. Just like the second-in-command did with all those documents in his bathroom …

-Pretty idiotic, right? Like computer coders working for pennies scanning databases may not understand what they are seeing? Well, it’s not just reading names and job descriptions, it’s also the actual stuff they were hired to do – CODING! Remember my note last week from Paul Krugman about how the financial databases on the U.S. are often in the now-seemingly-ancient COBOL computer code? Well, in COBOL, if, say, there is a person listed without a birthdate, the birthdate field for that record will be recorded as May 20, 1875, in order to complete the rest of the form. It’s just how COBOL works – and by the way, COBOL is still used in those systems for just that reason. It’s old, but it works, and those computer systems rarely crash.

-BUT, if you are 22 and are looking for FRAUD in databases and you look at a Social Security record and that birthdate is listed, you may think that a 150-year-old person that is getting a Social Security check! So you excitedly tell your boss Elon, and Elon parrots it back out, and MAGA crows they OWNDALIBZ, and … then the truth comes out and we realize, once again, that if Elon Musk and Big Balls and the rest of these pups don’t even know that, then they need to be fought – and can be beaten (while realizing the work that will need to be done once these idgits are gone).

-One final note on databases: while there is savage chopping being done, reports from professionals working just ouside of goevnement are confirming that datasets are being duplicated, saved, and preserved by think tanks and universities and industries outside of the Government, which while offerieng little comfort for data being generated since January 20, 2025, at least history is being saved and entities doing research are building on some of that history.

-Let’s step away from the databases and back to birth dates, because while not at the top of the list of concerns OHMYGOD is still worth it for the salacious entertainment and further proof of the scumminess of the people involved to hear. On Saturday, a 26-year-old right-wing “influencer” named Ashley St. Clair took to the intertubes to make the claim that her new 7-month-old son’s baby daddy is the one … the only (thank God) … ELON MUSK! Over a series of posts, St. Clair claimed she had been trying to reach Musk about his new kid and why wasn’t he supporting him and why was he banning her on X and OH THE DRAMA! And, indeed, a spokesmouth for Musk acknowledges that the child is likely Musk’s.

-If you are keeping up, Musk – who is 53, by the way – would now, with this kid, be the father to a known total of 13 children with a known total of five different women. Some of the kids are the products of in-vitro fertilization, many like St. Clair are quite younger than he is, and observers note the pattern of befriending younger women, getting them pregnant, then abandoning them and trying to publicly humiliate them – which simply makes Musk a normal MAGA leader.

-These people …

-Oh, by the way, CORRECTION: In my previous Substack, I had identified the mother of the four-year-old Musk perversely named “X” who was picking his nose and wiping the boogers on the Resolute Desk (the booger-wiping is alleged) with Elon Musk as Dawes. In fact, the mother of “X” is the pop singer Grimes. Management regrets the error.

-We move to Europe, where the reverberations of the first visit by Trump toady Pete “Drunky McHoneyPotAnyone?” Hegseth and Presidential Intern JD Vance continue to rattle. Hegseth started the mess by announcing that Trump’s opening gambit to “end” the war in Ukraine would be by backing the aggressor, Vladimir Putin. That was bad enough, but Vance actually managed to make things even worse with his speech in Munich that essentially asked Europe to do the Nazi-sympathizing AfP Party in Germany a solid by giving them “a seat at the table” - and did so with a “joke” about how if America and Europe could “withstand” Greta Thunberg that Europe could do the same with President-ish Musk (a “joke” that appropriately died after Vance actually waited for a laugh that never came.)

-In reaction, Ukrainian President Zelenskyy called on the European powers to begin considering assembling a peacekeeping force that would enforce any agreement between Ukraine and Russia – an agreement that Zelenskyy and Europe have demanded have to include Ukraine. If you’re thinking why wouldn’t it, that is because in Saudi Arabia a meeting between the U.S. and Russia is convening with the alleged subject being a peace treaty of the Russia/Ukraine conflict. Zelenskyy has said any agreement without him or Ukraine at the table is invalid, and it seems everyone outside of Trump and Putin would agree, so let’s keep an eye out on this one as the battlefield continues to lean Ukraine’s way as Trump and Putin try to pull it to the bad guys …

-SLAVA UKRAINI!

-The appearance at the Kennedy Center by comic and social commentator W. Kamau Bell last week may likely be the last one a prominent artist with a conscience and talent makes at that institution in the wake of a new Board installing Trump as the Chair of the venue and his avowed promise to make programming there less “woke” (even though, of course, he admitted to a reporter that he has never been at a show there). Bell chose not to cancel the gig because the official changes were made the day of the performance, and to his credit he tore into Trump and MAGA during the set, as others including Issa Rae cancelled appearances.

-As for the Board, out as advisors and members are artists such as opera diva Renee Fleming, indie rocker Ben Folds, and television empress Shonda Rimes. In are Trump sycophants that include the intern’s wife Asha Vance, current Trump chief of staff Susie Wiles, former national intelligence chair Ric Grennell, and (in case you thought Trump wouldn’t put an ‘artist’ on the board), country singer and co-Bible-grifter Lee Greenwood. Be ready soon for the World Premiere of Kanye West’s SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER starring Scott Baio, X Musk, and Lara Trump …

-After that we need some real art, so let’s move on to a very slightly less contentious institution, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The Cleveland-based organization announced its list of nominees for induction in 2025 – so get ready to argue who is rock, who is not, why them and not someone else, and listen to good-to-immortal nominees.

-THE NOMINEES ARE: Bad Company, The Black Crowes, Mariah Carey, Chubby Checker, Joe Cocker, Billy Idol, Joy Division/New Order, Cyndi Lauper, Mana, Oasis, OutKast, Phish, Soundgarten, and The White Stripes. (Artists become nominee-eligible 25 years after release of their first recording, if you were wondering).

-We also very nearly missed one of the most important events of any year, and we will end today’s update by celebrating and honoring Champion Heathmore’s Wintergreen Mountain RI CGC TKN FITB – better known as Monty – who, after two years of being a runner-up, this year become the first Giant Schnauzer to be named Best in Show at the 149^thWestminster Kennel Club Dog Show.

-Monty bested a Whippet named Bourbon, a Shih Tzu named Comet, a Bichon Frises named Neal, a German Shepherd Dog named Mercedes, an English Springer Spaniel named Freddie, and a Skye Terrier named Archer. Congratulations to Monty and all the doggos – and they are ALL good doggos!

-TO TODAY’S TRIVIA THEN!

-NEWS OF THE DAY: In 1959, Fidel Castro seized control of Cuba. In 2005, the National Hockey League cancelled its entire season – the first North American league to do so – thanks to a lockout of players by the owners. Also in 2005, the Kyoto Protocols became effective (more or less).

-DEBUTS ON THIS DAY: A check for payment of a debt (1659), Lithuania (1918), Nylon (1937), BRINGING UP BABY (1938), The Knesset (1949), WHAT’S MY LINE? (1950), THE SEVENTH SEAL (1957), the 9-1-1 emergency phone number (1968).

-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Johann Strauss, Edgar Bergen, Hugh Beaumont, Vera-Ellen, John Schlesinger, Sonny Bono, Brian Bedford, Carl Icahn, Bill Tobin, William Katt, James Ingram, Margaux Hemingway, LeVar Burton, Ice-T, Lisa Loring, Kelly Tripucka, John McEnroe, Andy Taylor, Mark Price, Mahershala Ali, John Tartaglia, Lupe Fiasco, Jon Ossoff, Elizabeth Olsen, The Weeknd, and Geordi La Forge.

-REST IN PEACE/REST IN POWER: Dazzy Vance, Smiley Burnette, Howard Da Silva, Keith Haring, Pat Brown, Roger Bowen, Eleanor “Sis” Daley, Gary Carter, Lesley Gore, Boutros Boutros-Ghali, Ken Nordine, Zoe Caldwell, Tim McCarver, and Alexei Navalny.

-FEED THE WORMS: Kim Jong-il and Jerome Bettis entered Earth on this date.

-CULTURE ON THIS DAY: The Number One Song in America on this date … in 2025, “Die With A Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars … in 2015, “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars … in 2005, “Let Me Love You” by Mario … in 1995, “Creep” by TLC … in 1985, “Careless Whisper” by Wham! featuring George Michael … and in 1975, “You’re No Good” by Linda Ronstadt.

-TODAY’S MUSIC INTERLUDE: In honor of both the opening of his tomb in 1923 and the culmination of the Golden Anniversary celebration weekend of Saturday Night Live …