STILL NEED TO DO DAY UPDATES

Appropriate as This is The First Substack Since Before Christmas …

-Since my last Substack, the holiday has not eased up on the goofy and the madness of the end of 2024 – but what to spend a bit of time on to get back in the swing of things? Let’s see …

-Of course, just before Festivus and Christmas and the start of Hannukah, there was the long-awaited for some of us release of the House Ethics report on now former Congresscretin Matt Gaetz, which simply confirmed much of what was known about his predilections.

-Yes, Gaetz committed statutory rape. Yes, Gaetz paid for sex with too young and barely legal women and transported them across state and national lines to do so. Yes, Gaetz used copious amounts of drugs. Yes, Gaetz used Venmo to pay for a ton of this stuff. No, Gaetz has so far prosecuted for none of it (he can still be for the financial questions, the statutory rape statute of limitations has expired). And no, it is believed none of it may stop him from running for Governor of Florida once Ron “Puddin’ Fingaz” DeSantis has to step aside (Gaetz will ‘host’ a show on the sub-Newmax One America Network starting in January), because it’s Florida, where two “Democrats” in the state house have flipped parties in the last few days. Still, enjoy the schadenfreude!

-So besides Gaetz, there is also still the very open question of who will run the MAGAGOP House as Speaker come the end of the week. There is one firm no to re-select Mike Johnson for Speaker after being toyed with by his own party, Donald Trump, and Pretty Much President Elon Musk over the attempt by Musk to hijack the debt ceiling as a flex and a demonstration of how little he understands how the American government works. One vote does not seem like much, but Johnson’s margin is going to be thinner than it was in the last Congress – and even more precarious with the Gaetz seat open at the start of the term. Two more NO votes mean another struggle to find someone willing to take the mantle (Tom Emmer? Jim “Gym” Jordan? Elon Musk??) – and if a Speaker is not selected by the 6^th, the Electoral College cannot convene to formally elect Trump (sighAAAAAUGHsigh) and, in theory, could delay when Trump could actually take office.

-SIDE BAR: there is a push among folks on the Left on Bluesky and Threads to try to invoke the Fourteenth Amendment to block Trump from taking office due to his trying to overturn the 2020 election won by Joe Biden. STOP. Even if somehow the House flipped and became Democratic – NOT GOING TO HAPPEN – the Senate will have a 53-47 GOP majority that, even with klesa tiny bit of cartilage showing up in some Republican backs, WILL NOT invoke it. Even if they did, JD Vance (last seen trying to order donuts for the boss and forgetting whether Elon wanted glazed or chocolate sprinkles) would then become President. Potentially better in some ways, but … again, people … just STOP! (Sorry!)

-Back to Things That Have Happened Since I Last Substacked, where the final month of 2024 has been far too eventful in South Korea. There, after President Yoon Suk Yeol attempted to invoke martial law and was vocally blocked and led to his impeachment, the President that was installed to replace him, Han Duk-soo, was also impeached, ostensibly for dragging his feet on the Yoon impeachment. Amid that drama, a true tragedy took place as a passenger plane whose landing gear apparently did not deploy crashed at the end of a runway in Muan, South Korea, reportedly killing all but one of the 181 on board.

-Speaking of plane crashes, unfortunately, there was also a crash of an Azerbaijani passenger plane earlier this week in Kazakhstan that killed 38 of the 67 on board. There, however, survivors and video taken in the plane heard something on the outside of the fuselage before the crash, and Azerbaijani leaders have demanded an investigation in the belief that Russia attempted to shoot the plane down. And surprisingly, Vladimir Putin did issue a rare apology for the incident occurring – not an admission by any means (Putin somehow tried to drag Ukraine into it, of course), but as close to an admission as one may get for a leader who has shot down commercial airlines since airlines cannot fall out of windows in tall buildings.

-Speaking of Putin and Ukraine, the scramble for position of both countries in the imminent return of Trump continues. Russia unleashed a massive attack on Ukrainian energy infrastructure on Christmas morning, while Ukraine reported over 1,000 North Korean troops were killed in battle as Russia continues to look for bodies to throw at the front in the hopes of stringing the fight along enough for Putin’s ward Trump to get supplies dried up (while praying the ruble’s crash somehow keeps the rest of the Russian economy from crashing further).

-SLAVA UKRAINI!

-All of this has happened, and all of this deserved an update to be sure, but if you are starting to get your sea legs back after November and are trying to at least keep up with the incoming insanity, there has been one post-Christmas pre-New Years story that has overwhelmed social media in what has to be said is both frustrating and full of delicious, delicious MAGA-on-MAGA hate – and you’ve been patient reading up until now, so LET’S GET INTO the internal intraparty cage battle that has taken place!

-IT ALL BEGAN, apparently, with a back-and-forth about American education and immigration between Mark Cuban and Government Efficiency Committee (IT IS NOT A DEPARTMENT) co-chair Vivek Ramaswamy – and that was bad enough. Vivek went into a rather dumb and typically obnoxious rant about how American culture was making America dumber, especially growing up in the 90s as Vivek did. While an argument about how FRIENDS made America worse (YEAH I SAID IT!) could theoretically be made, Vivek made it as a way to say that as a tech bro, it meant there weren’t enough smart Americans to take high-tech engineering and programming jobs.

-This is where immigration enters the picture, as Vivek then defended an immigration program labeled H1-B – a program that gives working visas to foreign workers that are used heavily in Silicon Valley and high tech industries, many of whom come from India, not surprisingly. That got the dander of one Laura Loomer up. Recall that Loomer was advising Trump earlier in the year and was seen in so many way-too-physically-close photos that rumors of an affair between them were rampant (EEEEEUUUUUU) that Loomer was essentially expelled from Mar-a-Lago.

-Loomer still has affection – or something (EEEEEUUUUU) for Trump, though, so she went after Vivek. Not for the Americans-are-dumb part of the argument, but for the H1-B part, as Loomer is in the No-Immigrants (of a certain shade)-EVAH school of MAGA, and tried to call Vivek on whether he even MAGAs, bro!

-Oh, but it really then got going, because Vivek had an ally in the H1-B argument: Pretty-Much-President Elon Musk. Musk came out full force on Team H1-B (and with the Americans-are-too-stupid argument, although Elon used the “R” word in the arguments, because of course he did), which got Loomer angry at Musk since Trump did not campaign on letting some immigration happen but on NO immigration happening. And when Loomer dared mention that Musk being in favor of H1-B also just happened to aid Musk’s Chinese industries and him personally, THE SHITE SHOW WAS ON!

-The back-and-forth between Loomer and Musk got so venomous and personal between the two of them that Musk did what all free-speech advocates with a sense of humor about themselves do: suspend Loomer’s Twitter/X account, cancelled her paid-for favored account status, stripped her of her followers, and throttled her ability to post lengthy diatribes. Along the way, pro-Loomer voices on X also got suspended as calls for Musk to resign or at least be thrown out of MAGA for, let’s be blunt, not being racist enough for MAGA, started to flow. As well as people who simply agreed with Loomer.

-In doing so, the intraparty backbiting got NUUUUUTS! On one side, everyone from virulent racist Nick Fuentes to Hillary-has-a-sex-dungeon-under-a-pizza-parlor worm Jack Posobiec and human canker sore Steve Bannon went with Team Loomer (which is Team Only White Immigrants on your scorecard) and Musk (who is Team Smart Brown Immigrants Because Whites Are Too Stoopid) going so far as to tell Team Loomer to “Take a big step back and FUCK YOURSELF IN THE FACE” (that’s a TROPIC THUNDER reference) while promising retribution “the likes of which you have never seen” against the Loomerites, a charming reference to the guy he helped win the White House, Don whatshisname …

-In short, one MAGA side is upset at the other side because they are not racist enough, while the other MAGA side is upset at the other side because they see them as mentally incapable morons – and each were wondering just where their anointed Dear Leader, who said he was on the no-brown-immigrants-EVAH side and would make eggs cheaper and would never lie to them (at least if it meant no more brown immigrants), was.

-WELL, after about three days of this, Trump finally posted a response on the firefight – and, as he has for the last few weeks, he continued to feed the perception that he seems to have ceded a ton of his power to the illegal immigrant Afrikanker who saved his ass – uh, I mean, that nice young man who seemed to move in about three months ago and has never left – uh, I mean, well, you know who I mean – Trump sided with Musk on the argument.

-Of COURSE, three years ago Trump was totally against H1-B, but he already admitted he can’t and won’t do squat about the price of eggs – heck, in a few interviews he all but revealed he never know what groceries themselves were, much less what they cost! - so while those waiting for the Trump/Musk breakup might have been mildly surprised, it is a holiday weekend and there’s a ton of golf to get in so Trump can show off his I-look-like-don’t-call-him-President Elon haircut to his Mar-a-Lago minions.

-This MAGA fight, which is still roiling, has left many, many feelings on the hard right angry and potentially hardened. As Paul Krugman wrote on his Substack (it’s where he now writes now that he has left the Times, and if anything he is even more of a must-read than he was), each MAGA side supports Trump as much because they were sure Trump was on their side as because they were sure the other side would be the side Trump would ultimately shit on when the time came.

-That neither side, this late in the game, sees that Trump is on nobody’s side and will ultimately shit on everyone that comes into his purview that is not named Vladimir Putin (nope, not putting Elon on that list yet!) just adds to the ridiculousness of it all, and while none of it bodes well for the actual functioning of the country, it is yet another reminder that it is highly unlikely Trump or those backing him will achieve most of their goals, much less even a lot, of their goals because of their own dysfunctions that they clearly have no ability or desire to even admit to, much less resolve. (Not that they won’t try, sort of.)

-For which we may ultimately give thanks someday …

-Anyway, when it came to watching teams whack each other around, most of us on Christmas settle into the NBA, which is traditionally when the sports world shifts its focus. But despite the creation of the NBA Cup (now sponsored by Emirates, which is literally on brand for them), the NBA has been struggling this year. Television ratings have been down nearly 20%, raising lots of concerns about whether the game needs new superstars or whether the three-point shooting has gotten way out of hand – and indeed, with LeBron James and Stephen Curry on the tail end of their careers and superstars like Victor Wembanyama just ascending, there was a bit of a point.

-However, the Christmas Day ratings – which featured Wemanyama scoring 42 against the New York Knicks and a five-year-ratings-high duel between James and Curry on prime time – were so boffo they literally reset the entire season’s ratings, which are now consistent with past years and again on a solid trajectory as the transition to new stars and new teams (LET’S GO CAVALIERS - #LETEMKNOW) continues apace.

-That said, there isn’t anyone on Earth that rules what we watch on our devices as the National Football League. Their first foray into non-Sunday Christmas Day football – fueled by Netflix paying a jaw-dropping $75 million per game for the package – has apparently paid off. Streaming numbers for Chiefs/Steelers and Ravens/Texans each hit approximately 24 million, and unlike the Logan Paul/Mike Tyson fight had few technical glitches (and universal praise for the clarity of the picture). Add to that a buzz-worthy halftime show by Beyonce (of course), and with backing of the mega-streaming service (which will also become the live home of WWE RAW starting January 6), get ready for more Christmas NFL Football (with Netflix having the games through 2026).

-An extra-long update for missing a week. The regular Tu-Th-Sunday schedule is back, with more Subscriber-Only specials coming in 2025, so Stay Tuned for that, thanks to all who have recently subscribed (keep telling your friends!!), and stick around for Today’s Trivia!

-On this date in 1845, Texas was annexed to the United States and became a state. On this date in 1890, 200 Sioux Indians were massacred by an American force at Wounded Knee, SD. And on this date in 1997, Hong Kong slaughtered all the birds in the country to prevent an outbreak of bird flu (gulp!).

-Debuts on this date: movie serials (1913), Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers starring in a movie (FLYING DOWN TO RIO, 1932), SONS OF THE DESERT (1933), Ireland as an independent country (1937), UHF television (1949), THUNDERBALL (1965).

-Happy Birthday to Charles Goodyear, William Gladstone, Pablo Casals, Tom Bradley, Mike Nussbaum, Dub Jones, Dina Merrill, Matt “Guitar” Murphy, Inga Swenson, Ed Flanders, Mary Tyler Moore, Ray Nitschke, Wayne Huizenga, Rick Danko, Laffit Pincay Jr., Marianne Faithful, Ted Danson, Jon Polito, Yvonne Elliman, Joe Lovano, Neil Giraldo, Bread Grey, Paul Rudnick, Patricia Clarkson, Paula Poundstone, Sean Payton, Dexter Holland, Lily Wachowski, Jay Fiedler, Jude Law, Theo Epstein, Mekhi Phifer, Danny McBride, Alison Brie, and Alexa Ray Joel.

-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Thomas Becket, Rainer Maria Rilke, Fletcher Henderson, Euell Gibbons, Sol Siegel, Andrei Tarkovsky, Lita Grey, Freddie Hubbard, Steve “Dr. Death” Williams, Andy Granatelli, Claude Bolling, Phyllis McGuire, Pele, Vivienne Westwood, and Maurice Hines.

-Feed the Worms: Andrew Johnson and Jon Voight entered Earth on this date.

-The Number One Novel in America on this date … in 2024, JAMES by Percival Everett … in 2014, ALL THE LIGHT WE CANNOT SEE by Anthony Doerr … in 2004, THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN by Mitch Albom … in 1994, POLITICALLY CORRECT BEDTIME STORIES by James Finn Garner … in 1984, THE TALISMAN by Stephen King and Peter Straub … and in 1974, CENTENNIAL by James Michener.