SMART AND SEXY DAY UPDATES
It's Who We Are and What We Read - So THANKS For Being Both!
-Even with being able to gather the necessary delegates to mathematically clinch the major Presidential nominations, Ex-President Trump (R-apist) LXXXVIII (so tweaked after three charges were cut from Trump’s Fulton County indictment list on what appears to be a drafting technicality) was still left electorally and egotistically uncomfortable. Electorally thanks to over 79,000 GA votes going to no-longer-rival Nikki Haley – well beyond the 11,689 votes he did not have to allow Biden to win the state in 2020, egotistically thanks to Biden winning his party’s mathematical nomination earlier in the day, thus sooner than Trump.
-Trump tried to assuage his butthurt by releasing a social media post that probably inevitably tried to claim that the now-in-the-dozens of examples of verbal miscues and tics that many believe are examples of cognitive decline that were witnessed live by thousands of actual people and streamed on primarily hard-right Trump-sympathetic virtual propaganda sites -are all – every single one of them – artificial intelligence deep-fake phony loser videos put forth by that devious senile masterminded doddering Sneaky Corrupt Loser Phony Joe By-Denn.
-Meanwhile, in the hallowed halls of Congress, if it was a day that ended in a -y, there was likely a hearing set up by the GOPMAGA Coyote Caucus designed to get that Joe Biden THIS TIME FOR SURE that ended up with Jim “Gym” Jordan, Matt Gaetz, Harriet “Are You SURE Drag Queens Are All Liberal?!” Hageman and company were left staring at us knowing that one glance down means gravity and the giant boulder with the TNT strapped on it will be hitting and blowing themselves up instead of Biden … and, yesterday, there was!
-Robert Hur, the Special Prosecutor whose ‘executive summary’ of his report investigating President Biden’s handling of classified documents included a gratuitous claim of memory issues and the largest orgy of BIDEN B OLD stories in the American news media, was called by Jordan and company in what they thought would be more BIDEN B OLD-ism – only to find that, after both Biden’s stellar State of the Union speech and the release of the full text of Hur’s report, that Hur clearly and grotesquely overstated and/or misrepre … LIED … about Biden’s interview, taken October 8 hours after the HAMAS terrorist attacks (Biden mentioning “I just got off the phone with Bibi Netanyahu” as the interview began).
-The most explosive Hur charge – Biden forgetting the date of the death of his son Beau – was exposed as a lie in the text of the speech and by a parade of Democratic House members who, besides ably using Hur’s text to defend Biden (at one point, in reaction to a photo, Biden cracked “You can see how old that picture is – my arm is around Lindsay Graham!”), essentially staged a counter-hearing that not only continually pointed out that Hur concluded Biden’s handling of classified documents was absolutely not criminal at all, but that the OTHER ‘President’ who has been accused of mishandling classified documents likely DID do so in a way that might be considered criminal were it not for the protection of a self-appointed judge giving him every delay in the book to prevent a trial from taking place on them. Hur, who resigned his Department of Justice position the day before testifying, could only stammer at points during the hearing.
-Fresh off that most recent debacle, this morning the House voted to ban the Tik Tok social media app from the United States – or, to be clearer, voted to demand the site be divested from its Chinese ownership on concerns over national security (the app is owned by a Chinese company with suspected connections to the Communist government there). The vote was a somewhat rare bipartisan romp, 352-65, and now moves on to the Senate. While it is unclear whether it can pass there, President Biden – despite his campaign recently creating an account on the site (Trump has not) – has vowed to sign the bill if it got to his desk.
-From there, House MAGAGOPlicans are heading to a retreat in a West Virginia resort, contentious in and of itself because at least half the members will not be there amid continuing GOP infighting. Pressure on House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-Jay-EE-Zuz!, LA) amped up more yesterday when outgoing Rep. Ken Buck of CO announced that, rather than wait until the end of his term to leave, he was instead exiting next week. The resignation brings the already-tenuous GOPMAGA majority to two votes, with special elections potentially solidifying that gap (and Buck himself remarking that there may be several other House members willing to do the same, which if it did so could tilt the House to the Democrats and allowing Rep. Hakeem Jeffries to become the first person of color to hold the gavel).
-The retreat will, however, have a new and late-added keynote speaker: Netanyahu. The move signals what is clearly a full-on rift between the White House and the current Israeli leadership, with Biden and the world pushing for Israel to back off their increasingly violent Gaza War that has led to a humanitarian crisis in Palestine and Netanyahu and his hard-right factions insisting they will push to expand the War further and even encourage more settlements in the area. Observers also note the clear political lines being drawn, with known Trump ally Netanyahu likely willing to continue to drive a wedge between Biden and a number of progressives Muslim-Americans who are furious at what they see as Biden supporting genocide of Palestinians in the hope that a MAGA White House will give Netanyahu full support for maximum violence and removal of Palestinians from Gaza.
-That wedge will likely be applauded by the other major Trump ally, Vladimir Putin, who in an interview today chortled that there was no need to enter into peace talks with Ukraine since “Ukraine is running out of bullets!” The crack is a clear indication that the Trump/MAGA blockade of Ukraine aid is delighting Putin and Russia, as was Pope Francis’ odd request that Ukraine enter into peace talks now rather than hold out for desperately-needed American aid. That aid could come with voting for the aid bill passed by the Senate were it not for Johnson refusing to bring it to the floor – and an effort to create a ‘discharge petition’ to force a vote (that most believe would pass) is running into issues from the aforementioned progressives who have said that the Senate bill is unacceptable because of the Israeli aid included in that bill. Mechanizations continue …
-SLAVA UKRAINI!
-We will end with a return to the 2024 race because the Robert F. Kennedy Jr. ‘campaign’ is turning into a barrel of laughs rather than a sign of terror that he would somehow draw more votes from Biden than Trump. RFK Jr.’s embrace of a wild variety of what are technically referred to as ‘whackadoodle’ conspiracy theories – led by his morbid hatred of all vaccinations – has, perhaps inevitably, led to what may be the most hi-LAR-ious set of Vice Presidential wannabes in a long damn time! Amongst the names allegedly being considred to be RFK Jr’s running mate are:
-Loopy Republican Senator Rand Paul …
-Alleged Democrat and known homophobe Tulsi Gabbard (also allegedly on Trump’s list) …
-Motivational speaker Tony Robbins …
-DIRTY JOBS host Mike Rowe …
Self-described iconoclast turned goofy math nerd Andrew Yang …
-Former pro wrestler-turned-M-N Governor Jesse “The Body” Ventura …
-AND, reported to be at the actual top of the list, failed JEOPARDY! Host slash Olivia Nunn dumpee slash Joe Rogan bestie slash ayahuasca afficianado slashed Covid vaccine skeptic and current New York Jets Quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
-(People were afraid of this guy? REALLY?!)
-OK, we gotta get back to work, so let’s call it an update with that, shall we?
-On this date in 1781, adolescent boys everywhere were given the gift of an astronomer discovering a planet eventually named Uranus. On this date in 1925, TN banned the teaching of the theory of evolution in its public schools. On this date in 1965, Eric Clapton quit The Yardbirds – and was replaced by Jeff Beck. On this date in 1986, the Soviet Mir space station welcomed its first occupants. On this date in 2012, Encyclopedia Britannica became fully virtual.
-Debuts on this date: Uncle Sam (1852), earmuffs (1877), the Army K-9 Corps (1942), THE SEARCHERS (1956), TJ HOOKER (1982), PARIS IS BURNING (1991), BACK TO BLACK (2007).
-Happy Birthday to Sammy Kaye, Lightnin’ Slim, Edward O’Hare, Al Jaffe, Neil Sedaka, William H. Macy, Fred Berry, Glenne Headly, Dana Delany, Greg Norton (Husker Du), Adam Clayton, Terence Blanchard, Mariano Duncan, Will Clark, Chris Zorich, Annabeth Gish, Curtis Conway, Emile Hirsch, Marco Andrett, P.K. Subban, Mikaela Shiffrin, Jack Harlow, and Coco Gauff.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Benjami Harrison, Susan B. Anthony, Clarence Darrow, Kitty Genovese, John Cazale, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Lucio Fulci, Garson Kanin, Maureen Stapleton, Al Rosen, Dr. T. Barry Brazelton, Breonna Taylor, Marvin Hagler, William Hurt, Jim Gordon, Joe Pepitone, and Pat Schroeder.
-Feed the Worms: L. Ron Hubbard, William J. Casey, Charles Krauthammer, Jamie Dimon, Trent Dilfer and Danny Masterson entered Earth on this date. Henry Shrapnell bought it on this date.