RED PLANET DAY UPDATES
Because Mars Might Be The Only Place You Won't Get Pitched For Anything
-We start with Congressional updates, and some potential good news in that the Senate appears to be inching closer on a bill with actual bipartisan goals and support! Republicans (and some Dems, of course) want more border security, Democrats (and some GOPers, of course) want aid to Ukraine (SLAVA UKRAINI!), and negotiations are progressing to the point where there is some optimism there will be legislation that will be ready by the end of the week. The effort even has support of UltraMAGA House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-Jay-EE-zuz!, LA), meaning the bill might actually be passed by the end of the calendar year. Don't breathe too hard, though, since negotiations are positive but touchy, per Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), one of the leads in the effort.
-Also in the Senate, Majority Leader Schumer has a bill ready to go that, if it can get to 60 Senators (meaning 9-10 Republicans), overcome over 300 holds for military promotions thanks to lunkheaded Putin-supporting Sen. Tommy Tuberville (DurR, AL) single-handedly preventing them. As a reminder, Tuberville's official reason is to try to get the military to stop its support of a woman's right to choose within the Armed Forces - with many unofficial sources wondering whether Tuberville is creating massive vacancies that could theoretically be filled by Ex-President Trump XCI should Trump return to the Oval Office in 2025 and instill his now-open platform of installing loyalists throughout the government to use as an instrument of vengeance and open fascism. (But Biden is three years older, so y'know ... bothsides!)
-Moving to the House, the days appear to be numbered for "Rep." "George Santos" ("R," "NY"). A vote to expel the censured lame duck Representative is being readied for this week, and all indications are that it will succeed, leading to a special election in a district Biden won in 2020 that could further erode the GOP's four-vote majority heading into the 2024 election.
-Wrapping up the Congressional Docket, a proposed hearing into a potential 2024 Biden impeachment vote was thrown a curve ball as the star witness of the proceeding, America's Most Corrupt Corruptor that has Ever Corrupted, Hunter Biden (Dumdumdum!) answered his subpoena with a request that any testimony he gave be given in a public hearing. Showing the strength of the case and his overall resolve, Special Hunter Prosecutor Rep. James Comer (HunteR!!, KY) has turned down the request, leading to massive derision from Democrats on that Committee. It is unclear whether Hunter will testify in private or what Comer and company might do if the request to testify in public is not fulfilled.
-And finally, it's tempting to be sad for GOP Leader Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Z-Q-R, GA). The openly-hungering-for-VP-for-Her-Lord-God-and-Savior Trump has had to watch the ignominy of seeing her biography open and struggle to top the Top 10,000 of sales on Amazon. Given most GOP haigographies automatically make it to the Top Ten list on the power of bulk purchases from Republican funders, the fact that none of them have done that for the UltraMAGA heroine is so bad that she has begged Jimmy Kimmel to appear on his show to hawk the book (which he has, of course, refused). It is tempting to be sad ... but it's better to bathe in the schadenfreude and wonder openly how big a bonfire it would be if a pile of the books got zapped by a Jewish space laser ...
-Speaking of mega-rich right-wing financiers, one of the most notorious - Charles Koch - announced he will support former SC Governor Nikki Haley in the Republican primaries. The move further likely buries one-time GOP not-Trump 'front runner' Ron DeSantis (more on him in a sec!) and positions Haley as The Not-Trump to try to wrest the nomination from Trump.
-Trump, for his part, continues to try to ride his front-runner status with his retro-style campaign. Besides continuing to claim Barack Obama is President (in a social media post where he insists the mentions are deliberate and where he again brags about 'passing' a cognitive test) and continuing to insist (even in recent court filings) that the 2020 election was stolen from him (uh, no - Biden won comfortably), yesterday Trump decided to pull out one more chestnut and promise that, as President, he will repeal the Affordable Care Act (seen as an act of retribution against both Obama and perceived ACA savior John McCain) and replace it with something that actually sounds like the ACA. The Biden campaign has gleefully seized on the promise over what is now an intensely popular program, with other Republicans afraid to openly defy Trump look to Haley and dream ...
-As for DeSantis, not only is his Presidential campaign continuing to free fall, he now has a problem of a dead body in his office. Literally. Peter Antonacci, 74, hand-picked by DeSantis to run FL's "election fraud" office (which most believe is really an organized voter intimidation force), had some kind of major medial emergency - but laid outside DeSantis' office in a highway for 24 minutes while he was "dead or dying," according to initial reports. Why Antonacci was undiscovered for so long is an open question currently being investigated. Florida, man ...
-Closing with Bad Breakup News, one of the most prominent 70s-80s pop duos is going through one right now. Last week, Daryl Hall filed a restraining order against John Oates - aka "the other guy in Hall and Oates" - over what reports claim is Oates' desire to sell his share of their music library and Hall resistant due to an earlier sale of another part of their music library not being as lucrative as Hall felt it should have been. Catalog sales is seen by many artists as being more lucrative than holding and extending copyright, especially given streaming rights gutting music sales for legacy acts. Insert "Out of Touch" and "She's Gone" jokes here ...
-On this date in 1893, New Zealand became the first country on Earth to allow women to vote. On this date in 1943, the first meeting of World War II Allied world leaders (Roosevelt, Churchill, Stalin) took place in Tehran. On this date in 1961, Ernie Davis became the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy (he would tragically never play a professional football game after a cancer diagnosis). Openings of note: The Grand Ole Opry (1925, radio broadcast), Queen Latifah's debut ALL HAIL THE QUEEN (1989), THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY (2012).
-Happy Birthday to John Bunyan, William Blake, Friedrich Engels, Henry Bacon, Brooks Atkinson, Claude Levi-Strauss, Berry Gordy, Gato Barbieri, Hope Lange, Sen. Gary Hart, Paul Warfield, Randy Newman, Rita Mae Brown, Joe Dante, Alexander Godunov, Paul Shaffer, Ed Harris, S. Epatha Merkerson, Sixto Lezcano, Dave Righetti, Judd Nelson, Alfonso Cuaron, Jon Stewart, Matt Cameron, Paul Dinello, Sen. Michael Bennet, Matt Williams, Anna Nicole Smith, Andrew Bogut, Marc-Andre Fleury, and Karen Gillan.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben, Washington Irving, James Naismith, Enrico Fermi, Richard Wright, Rosalind Russell, Garry Moore, Jerry Rubin, Leslie Nielsen, Marjorie Lord, Grant Tinker, Van Williams, Dave Prowse, and Lee Elder.
-Feed the Worms: Jeffrey Dahlmer was shanked in prison on this date.
-The Number One Movie in America on this date: in 2023, THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS & SNAKES ... in 2013, THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE ... in 2003, THE CAT IN THE HAT ... in 1993, MRS. DOUBTFIRE ... in 1983, A CHRISTMAS STORY ... and in 1973, THE WAY WE WERE.