PARCHMENT DAY UPDATES
Write a Constitution With It! Bake Cookes On It! (Just Don't Do Both At The Same Time, Please)
-Yesterday’s Supreme Court decision striking down the ‘independent state legislature’ theory of government (which claimed states could more or less dictate anything they wished to do with federal elections, from drawing of districts to Presidential election result certifications) has benefits beyond the basic defense of electoral federalism, according to legal experts. The biggest immediate effect of the ruling involves the ongoing January 6 investigations surrounding the attempts of Twice-Indicted Ex-President (TIEP) Trump’s losing 2020 campaign and the campaign to seat electors who would vote for Trump rather than the winner, President Biden.
-It seems that the independent state legislator theory was one of the reeds on which the fake elector effort was hung on, and without SCOTUS’ endorsement of it, prosecutions based on the illegality of seating fake electors are far likelier and far likelier to succeed. On top of that, the legal license of John Eastman – one of the primary architects of said plan – looks to be even more endangered, as that theory is apparently one of the pillars of his disbarment hearings in CA, which are ongoing. Sucks to be John …
-All of that said, one paragraph in the ruling, written by Chief Justice John Roberts, is causing some concern. The paragraph comes at the end of a passage in which Roberts does something that was never supposed to happen – Roberts cites the Bush v. Gore decision as if it was legal precedent. In doing so, legal analysts worry that the paragraph in question opens the door to allow SCOTUS itself to essentially do what they did in Bush v. Gore. One hopes the passage is never returned to in a future decision, bbuutt …
-One other SCOTUS case decided yesterday is likely to spell bad news to UltraMAGA leader Rep. Jim “Gym” Jordan (OtheR Way, OH). SCOTUS ruled that former members of The Ohio State University wrestling team who were sexually abused by a doctor there for years can proceed in suing OSU for failing to protect them and potentially over 100 other victims – and central to the charge of failing to protect them is Jordan, who as an assistant wrestling coach has been charged with ignoring and covering up the charges (including stories that Jordan may have begged and threatened students not to file charges against Dr. Richard Strauss, who committed suicide in 2005) and thus may be personally liable for damages should he be named.
-There is a documentary movie about the case (co-produced by Sports Illustrated and George Clooney) which debuted at the Sundance festival this past winter that Max (formerly HBO) (eyeroll) that is waiting for a premiere date, and it all may add up to ol’ Gym needing to grab his jacket for something far more serious …
-Doubling back on Trump legal issues, as a Federal judge signaled he will likely reject Trump’s attempt to move the Stormy Daniels payoff trial into Federal court (where a judge rather than a jury could have heard the case), Team Trump also filed a motion in the ongoing E. Jean Carroll defamation case … and it’s apparently quite a thing. Recall that a jury found Trump liable for defaming Carroll after Carroll claimed she was raped by Trump in the mid-1990s, although the jury only went so far as to say Trump sexually abused Carroll – and Carroll has essentially extended the suit after comments made by Trump after the verdict were deemed potentially defamatory as well.
-WELL, yesterday, Trump through attorney Alina Habba (and NOT the team that represented him at the trial), filed a countersuit claiming that, actually, it was Carroll who defamed Trump – and while it may be possible that Habba thought the filing argued that Trump is “totally innocent” (it’s one of the few phrases Trump seems to know these days), the language in the motion instead argues that Trump is being defamed by claiming that he ONLY sexually abused Carroll. That is, Trump is arguing through Habba’s motion that he is being defamed because Trump in fact DID rape Carroll, not merely ‘sexually abuse’ her.
-This is a good time to remind the class that prior to joining Team Trump, Habba’s primary legal experience involved representing corporations who run parking facilities.
-Let’s end on nicer news. Since Batman and Spider-Man can continually be rebooted, so can Superman – and yesterday, DC Studios and James Gunn announced that David Corenswet, a 2018 Julliard graduate who has worked his way up the ladder of a number of Netflix series as well as HBO’s WE OWN THIS CITY, will be the new Man of Steel in SUPERMAN: LEGACY in 2025. Every Superman needs a Lois Lane, and the new Lois Lane will be Rachel Brosnahan, fresh off her run as THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL on Amazon.
-All that said, there can be only one Superman – may Christopher Reeve rest in peace.
-On this date in 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated, triggering the start of World War I while providing the name of one of the cooler rock bands of the 2000s at the same time. World War I formally ended on this date in 1919 with the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. On this date in 1969, the gay rights movement ‘began’ with violent confrontations between New York City police and patrons/protestors outside the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village. On this date in 1997, Mike Tyson disqualified himself from a Heavyweight Championship fight after biting the ear off of his opponent, then-champ Evander Holyfield. And on this date in 2007, the bald eagle was removed from the endangered species list.
-Happy Birthday to Peter Paul Rubens, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Luigi Pirandello, Richard Rodgers, Mel Brooks, Junior Johnson, Pat Morita, Ron Luciano, John Byner, Leon Panetta, Gilda Radner, Kathy Bates, Don Baylor, Jay Schroeder, John Cusack, Mary Stuart Masterson, Matt Karchner, Danielle Brisebois, Ron Mahay, and Kevin de Bruyne.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to James Madison, Antoinette Perry, Mickey Cochrane, Rod Serling, Helen Gahagan Douglas, Terry Fox, Mortimer J. Adler, Billy Mays, Fred Travalena, Meshach Taylor, Jack Carter, Buddy Ryan, Pat Summitt, and Harlan Ellison.
-Feed the Worms: Chain-wife killer King Henry VIII, horse-faced football scum John Elway, and billionaire weirdo Elon Musk entered Earth on this date.