NATIONAL WALNUT DAY UPDATES

What A Perfect Follow-Up To National Chocolate Chip Day!

-After four years of investigation, two failed prosecutions, and one guilty plea for manipulating an email about a search warrant, John Durham released his report that essentially confirmed that the FBI did not act improperly in investigating Ex-President Trump's actions regarding Russian interference in the 2016 election (and the subsequent report by Robert Mueller). This, of course, has not stopped Trump, his acolytes, or right-wing media from trying to spin that the Durham report DID show Trump was illegally investigated (he wasn't) or that the Mueller Report fully exonerated Trump (it most certainly did not, especially regarding potential obstruction charges) (contrary to the attempts by former Attorney General William Barr to bury and misrepresent the Mueller report's conclusions). Given the myriad investigations, court rulings, and current and future indictments, for Team Trump this was considered a good day for him.

-Then again, Trump's 2024 GOP nomination race seems to be going well, insofar as the last couple of days have not gone well for the would-be main challenger to Trump, FL Governor Ron DeSantis. Yesterday, DeSantis-supported Republican Daniel Davis was upset by Democrat Donna Deegan in Jacksonville - a bigger deal than you may realize given Jacksonville is the biggest city in FL, was (until yesterday) the largest city run by a Republican in the country (and had been since 1993), outspent Deegan 4-1 in the race, and was arguably the most alliterative race in America in decades. Another DeSantis-supported candidate lost to a Trump-supported candidate in the KY GOP Governor's primary - a race that will now pit current Democratic Governor Andy Bashear against Trump- and Mitch McConnell-backed Attorney General Daniel Cameron, a Black Republican most known for his refusal to prosecute police officers that shot and killed Breonna Taylor. To top his bad day, DeSantis is the butt of the latest parody video from Randy Rainbow (to a tune from HAIRSPRAY, appropriately enough) that is approaching 500,000 views as of this writing.

-In more 'good' news for Trump, Republicans in North Carolina used their recently-obtained legislative supermajority (thanks to the 'flipping' of a newly-elected Representative many now believe was always a Republican running as a Democrat) to overturn the veto of Gov. Roy Cooper to impose a 12-week abortion ban on women in the state. All Republicans voted to overturn the veto, which Cooper made during a raucous rally on Saturday (polling in the state shows massive opposition to the ban) and which is likely to become a critical issue in the 2024 election, which Trump won by one point in 2020.

-Trump, for his part, continued to make his position on abortion rights clear in an interview on Newsmax last night when he boasted "I'm the one that got rid of Roe v. Wade - they said it was impossible!" thereby showing that, yes, every once in a while, Trump DOES tell the truth.

-Meetings continue today with aides from the White House and Rep. Kevin McCarthy (SINO-R, CA) over Republican's threat to of defaulting on the debt ceiling in order to impose draconian budget cuts on social safety net programs, with both sides claiming they were "far apart" yet both sides also expressing optimism for the first time that the debt ceiling will be lifted and a catastrophic economic crash will not occur. President Biden cancelled a trip to Asia in order to continue to manage the negotiations, while McCarthy's alleged "red line" in any negotiations - a demand that Medicaid and SNAP benefits be connected to work requirements - is so unpopular it is unclear whether he has enough non-ultra-MAGA support to keep it. The Treasury has said the country may run out on June 1, even as other legislators continue to question whether the debt ceiling should even exist or whether it may, in fact, be unconstitutional.

-Billionaire weirdo Elon Musk has continued to show his apartheid South African roots in an interview on CNBC yesterday, first by comparing non-weirdo billionaire George Soros to the X-Men villain Magneto (a comparison the Anti-Defamation League called anti-Semitic) after Soros announced he sold all his stock in Musk-owned corporations, then by insisting that the Allen, TX mass murderer who killed eight at an outlet mall was not anti-Semitic despite photos of the mass murderer with tattoos of a swastika on his chest and an SS logo on his arm and social media outlets full of anti-Semitic statements and follows. Musk also insisted he has no qualms about allowing what others describe as horrifically anti-Semitic posters and posts on his now-failing social media site, Twitter. Antisemitic weirdo.

-We end today's update with Thoughts and Prayers (TM) directed towards Rep. Lauren Boebert (N-R-A, CO). The UltraMAGA paragon of family values and virtue filed for divorce from her husband of 18 years, citing "irreconcilable differences." The soon-to-be ex - who the Daily Beast reported released dogs on the man trying to serve him the divorce papers - was convicted of exposing himself to minors at a bowling alley months before then marrying the then-17-year-old Boebert - then fathered four children, the eldest of which (17 himself!) has impregnated his 15-year-old girlfriend and also was recently arrested for drug possession after an auto accident (and failing to appear in a court hearing about the incident).

-Boebert, whose attacks on 'liberals' are as rabid as they are empty of facts and governmental knowledge, has asked that other respect her privacy, so in that spirit we will not mention the rumors of her involvement in an escort service or that one of her alleged customers was Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Cancun, TX) or that photos of her with men ranging from Matt Gaetz to Kyle Rittenhouse (whom she reportedly offered an internship) to a blond lead singer from a Christian rock group are all over the internet, because we respect Lauren Boebert as much as she respects us.

-Or as my father used to say, respect isn't given - it's earned.

-On this day in 1939, the first sporting event was aired on television - a baseball game between Princeton and Columbia, by NBC. On this day in 1954, the Supreme Court ruled 9-0 that Oliver Brown's ability to receive an equal education as a Black child was being denied by the Board of Education of Topeka, KS and its segregationist policies towards schools and education in that city. On this date in 1973, the Watergate hearings began. And on this date in 2004, MA became the first state to perform and recognize a same-sex marriage.

-Happy Birthday to Edward Jenner, Cool Papa Bell, Maureen O'Sullivan, Archibald Cox, Stan Albeck, Earl Morrall, Dennis Potter, Dennis Hopper, Taj Mahal, Bill Bruford, Howard Ashman, Norv Turner, Bill Paxton, Bob Saget, Sugar Ray Leonard, Jim Nantz, Enya, Craig Ferguson, Trent Reznor, Danny Manning, Dave Abbruzzese, Jordan Knight, Gina Raimondo, Josh Homme, Hunter Mahan, Tony Parker, Channing Frye, and Matt Ryan.

-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Johann Michael Bach, John Jay, Talleyrand, John Deere, Abe Burrows, Bobby Ewing, Lawrence Welk, Frank Gorshin, Cy Feuer, Harmon Kilebrew, Donna Summer, Ken Venturi, Herman Wouk, and Vangelis.

-Feed the Worms: Heaven's Gate cult leader Marshall Applewhite entered Earth on this date.