NATIONAL SCRABBLE DAY UPDATES

May You Get The Triple Word Score on the Triple Tile Square!

-The MAGAGOPTrump Tariffs continue to befuddle and confound people who have expertise in issues like economics, manufacturing, trade, and basic competence in governing and human relations – all issues that Team Trump gleefully and proudly lack. When last we left the mess, the on-again-off-again-on-again-off-for-most-but-not-everyone-again carnival was “off” for most countries except for the 10% raises on everything most Americans buy, except for China, whose tariffs went from 25% to 35% to 104% to 145% of, what we were told, everything built in America’s Evilest Biggest Competitor (unless you give my daughter a break in which case we’ll look the other way). And Trump being Trump, he bragsharted that the toughest manliest man of all men who run countries are SO strong that CHY-NUH will come to him with pursed lips and tears in their eyes waiting for Trump to pull everything down and they can kiss his self-described ass …

-…at least that was how things stood on Friday. By Saturday afternoon, SOMEthing happened, because all of a sudden it was announced that all those tariffs on Chinese goods weren’t going to be assessed anyway. At least, not the goods that were already built. At least, any goods that happened to have computer chips and processors and that sort of thing like laptops and tablets and smart phones and gaming consoles. Those, never mind about those taxes – but all those OTHER goods, WELL, Trump is ThE BEzt NegoshEATerr EvaHH!, so those are still intact, more or less, so long as the Chinese negotiators brought their ChapStik.

-So, wha’happened?! Did China make any such concessions? Hard to say, although observers keeping an eye on things couldn’t help but notice all those exempted products sure help particular computer/tablet/cellphone companies with big presences in both the U.S. and China – though it must also be said there is no clear evidence such companies that might be associated with forbidden fruit talked to Trump or not. But it wouldn’t be surprising, as actual economists pointed out that currying favor with the White House with an openly corrupt and erratic regime would be easy to predict. It is, needless to say, awful for an economy and a government, but that clearly is not a goal of this particular government.

-Besides, even if we take a few of the stated goals of Team Trump at face value (I know, I know, that’s asking a LOT, but bear with me for the next two paragraphs!), the tariffs that still remain are dumber than bags of old flash drives. Y’see, if you try to follow the Lutnicks or the Hassetts or the Navarros or the Ron Varas they will tell you that all these tariffs will bring manufacturing back to the United States the likes of which it has not been brought back before! The problem, besides the fact that manufacturing was on a 60-year upswing under the previous President and the fact that at best it takes two years to open new manufacturing plants and the fact that all those new manufacturing plants are primarily robots, is that the parts those manufacturers would use are still facing 145% tariffs!

-In other words, the cost to open new factories in the U.S. have just exploded thanks to the MAGAGOPTrump Tariffs! Add to that the insane business conditions which makes anyone who might want to invest in a country run so erratically think twice before even thinking about it, a country where consumer confidence has just been shattered over the last few months as the guy people elected to bring back the economy and end inflation “ON DAY ONE!” is too busy golfing and hitting UFC matches to even bother looking like he is trying (even egg prices, as I bet you don’t have to be told, are even MORE expensive than on January 20 without bird flu or BIDEN B OLD as an excuse), and THIS JUST IN: a promise or threat from Howard “I Walk Past Donald Trump and Smell His Aroma and It Makes Me Smile This Smile You Always See On Me!” Lutnick that the tariffs that were just taken off yesterday can be put right back on in 90 days, and even with their own stated goals, these STUPIDSTUPID MAGAGOPTrump Tariffs are failing on their own terms.

-While all of this goes on to play with everyone’s economic lives, actual lives and the Constitutional order are also being imperiled by a different and far more dangerous team of Trumpers. Over the weekend, a series of court rulings, including a seemingly shocking 9-0 decision from THIS Supreme Court, tried to demand that Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a legal migrant from El Salvador from Maryland, be immediately returned to the United States after ICE agents seized him and flew him to El Salvador’s notorious Cecot “Terrorist Confinement Center.” All the courts agreed Garcia is innocent of any kind of charge that should have even had him on a list to be deported, and in multiple filings the Department of Justice acknowledged Garcia was deported incorrectly.

-Frighteningly, however, the government has spent all its time appearing to do everything they could to leave Garcia in Cecot. They had to be berated by the Court after first claiming they could do nothing to bring him back, then claiming they did not know where he was, then claiming it was the Courts who were endangering the country by interfering with the work of keeping America safe as the Trump government decided was appropriate, and dragging their feet for days even trying to say where Garcia was, claiming last night that Garcia was alive and in Cecot but showing zero urgency to bring him back – and instead using spokesblonde Katherine Leavitt to ‘gush’ on Friday that the brain trust of deportations (Stephen Miller, Tom Homan, Kristi Noem, Marco Rubio) were excitedly thinking about how to use Cecot to imprison Americans for … reasons.

-El Salvador’s President, Nayib Bukele, just finished being re-elected in an election in which he declared victory before official results confirmed it, will be meeting with Trump this week, and given the deal he cut with Trump on the use of the Cecot prison (which is so advantageous to Trump that plans to use Guantanamo Bay for “immigration” have been shelved), the possibility to ‘release’ Garcia while other accused “terrorists” and “illegals” were and are being placed there may not be out of the realm of possibility. Reports of increased ICE arrests, IRS records being used to try to ‘find’ others to deport, continued reports of student visas at universities nationally being cancelled for very flimsy reasons like parking tickets (if that), the increasingly bombastic rhetoric from Miller, Rubio, and Trump, and defensive moves like the city of Chicago cancelling its Cinco de Mayo Parade this year out of fear of it being used by ICE for further arrests, makes this part of what Trump is doing deserve more sunlight.

-Amidst all of this anti-immigrationism, progressive left social media have been posting often about an “imminent” evocation of martial law on April 20 – Easter Sunday, as it happens. That fear clearly comes from a “deadline” Trump gave his minions on January 20 on whether or not the “situation” at the borders (presumably primarily Mexico, but perhaps Canada as well?) makes it "necessary” to invoke the Insurrection Act of 1807 and declare martial law, potentially then criminalizing any (all?) street protests and using the U.S. Military to act against such protests – ideally in Trump’s mind violently.

-The fact-checking site Snopes determined that claims by the left that a declaration of “martial law” was “imminent” was “more speculation than fact.” There is clearly a dispute about whether the President has the inherent power to make such a declaration, and naturally Team Trump is all hard and wet that he can and should (and are probably looking forward to such a declaration) – but to legitimately do so when even Trump’s own officials have said the borders are currently calm and not in danger makes it a bit harder (if, of course, they cared about such things as consistently, which …). Even if there was, presumably the military might only be able to “patrol” the borders in question (and in fact troops and drones have been deployed along the Mexican border, raising the potential for an eruption of fighting as the reason to get going) – thereby not being able to deploy to stop, say, the Hands Off! Protests (which have by and large been fully peaceful).

-Yes, I can hear people say “When has Trump EVER cared about legalities? He LOVES breaking every rule he can!” True. But April 21 is when a report from Defense Secretary Pete “Hic!” Hegseth is due, and given the buildup of forces near Iran and the continued bloviating about Greenland (not to mention how damn many places the HandsOff! Protests happened last week and could happen this week), it does not mean Trump couldn’t … but, like the tariffs, it does mean even if he tries, it may be just as haphazard and weird and bad as those have been.

-In short, prrrobably not – but better to watch and not be surprised because … (gestures widly).

-In fiction news, the White House announced Trump had his annual physical last week. Such announcements have rightfully been met with extreme skepticism in the past, with ridiculous claims of not being overweight and being able to “live 500 years!” gushed former “Doctor” now TX Congressman Ronny Jackson during the first Trump reign.

-Indeed, on Friday Leavitt and a Lindell TV plant turned the White House Briefing Room into Pyongyang-a-Lago with starry-eyed declarations of vitality and health of Dear Leader – and indeed, today the “report” was released claiming Trump weights 225 pounds (maybe on one leg before being fed” and trying to claim Trump’s golf game and “winning” of tournaments (remember Trump wins at golf like we win at playing Solitaire – fixed, easy, and designed for momentary endorphin blasts), and Trump himself boasted again of passing cognitive tests he had been given – clearly oblivious to the fact that the ordering of assessments with cognitive tests does not mean one’s cognition is good, but that signs have arisen to worry doctors to the point that such tests need to be given. So perhaps we learned more about the physical and mental health of Trump than even they realized, if they did, which …

-This brings us to the Petty Atrocity of the day, and today the well-deserved recipient is someone who has been a petty atrocity for at least a decade and a half now – still somehow-employed washed-up standup comic and only-in-his-mind pundit, Bill “I Was Edgy for 80 Seconds in 1997!” Maher. After letting human canker sore Steve Bannon try to say Trump will run for and in a third term in 2028, Maher then let slip that he accepted a visit from Trump – who, let us recall, once openly mocked Trump to the point Trump went after Maher on social media. Well, surprise surprise surprise, Maher said Trump was “gracious and measured,” and that Trump accepted being mocked to his face during the dinner while also claiming he “did not go MAGA” and that Trump “didn’t try.”

-Nowm I am guessing most of us see the asininities piling on here, from the ridiculous idea that Maher doing a Morning Joe and bending his knees and hips to Trump was anything but capitulation to Trump, to being “shocked” Trump can be momentarily not an ass (it’s what sociopaths do and what makes them sociopaths), to not seeing that Trump didn’t try to make Maher sell out because he didn’t have to, to Maher again thinking anyone under the age of 68 giving a damn what he thinks about anything or forgetting that Maher once dated Ann Coulter (because “edgy!”), to not seeing that Morning Joe’s ratings tanked and have not come close to recovering since they did what they did.

-Maher is a jerk and has not been relevant for two decades. With any luck this will be the time whoever still watches that relic flip him off once and for all, and that’s all the time I’ll spend on him.

-We wrap with one of the few times most people focus on golf, as The Masters Tournament final round starts today with the most beloved golfer currently playing, Rory McIlroy, who charged to the top of the leaderboard yesterday and in a strong position to win the one major tournament he has yet to win (the others being the U.S. Open, British Open, and PGA Championship). McIlroy has demons to fight, most notably a fourth-round collapse at last year’s U.S. Open that was so deep and devastating he left that tournament without staying for the awards ceremony. McIlroy has also been close to winning the Masters before only to fade, and he is only two strokes ahead of American Bryson DeChambeau. Lots of drama to come if you are into that sort of thing, so enjoy!

-And now, today’s trivia!!

-NEWS ON THIS DATE: In 1964, Sidney Poitier became the first African-American actor to win an Oscar for a lead role (in LILLIES OF THE FIELD). In 1970, an oxygen tank aboard the Apollo 13 spacecraft, aborting a moon landing and endangering the three astronauts on board. In 1997, Tiger Woods became the first African-American golfer to win The Masters. In 2002, an attempted coup against then-Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez collapsed, restoring Chavez to the office.

-DEBUTS ON THIS DATE: Handel’s Messiah (1742), The Metropolitan Museum of Art (1870), nonstop commercial flights from Europe to North America (1928), satellite navigation systems (1960), “Help!” (1965), “Brown Sugar” (1971), Island Records (1973), TWO TRAINS RUNNING (1992), ARCADIA (1993), the “Mother of All Bombs” (MOAB, 2017).

-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Catherine de Medici, Guy Fawkes, Frank Winfield Woolworth, Samuel Beckett, Harold Stassen, Eudora Welty, Bob Devaney, Madalyn Murray O’Hair, Howard Keel, Ken Nordine, Don Adams, Stanley Donen, Ben Nighthorse Campbell, Lyle Waggoner, Paul Sorvino, Seamus Heaney, Bill Conti, Billy Kidd, Jack Casady, Lowell George, Tony Dow, Philippe Petit, Ron Perlman, Max Weinberg, Peabo Bryson, Jimmy Destri, Amy Goodman, Gary Kroger, Senator Bob Casey Jr., Hillel Slovak, Garry Kasparov, Davis Love III, Rick Schroeder, Bo Outlaw, Lou Bega, Baron Davis, and Quentin Richardson.

-REST IN PEACE/POWER: Muriel Spark, Harry Kalas, Mark “The Bird” Fidrych, Gunter Grass, Milos Forman, and Mary Quant.

-Thomas Jefferson, Butch Cassidy, and Christopher Hitchens were born on this date. You decide if they get Happy Birthdays or if they Feeds the Worms.

-CULTURE ON THIS DATE: The Number One Novel in the United States on this date … in 2025, SAY YOU’LL REMEMBER ME by Abby Jiminez … in 2015, THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN by Paula Hawkins … in 2005, THE DA VINCI CODE by Dan Brown … in 1995, THE CELESTINE PROPHECY by James Redfield … in 1985, FAMILY ALBUM by Danielle Steel … and in 1975, CENTENNIAL by James Michener.

-TODAY’S MUSIC INTERLUDE: Happy Birthday to The Reverend Al Green!