NATIONAL OLIVE DAY UPDATES
You Can Have Mine – I Never Got the Taste for Them. (SORRY …)
-It was the end of an era – and yes, despite the prattleblarts from Donald Trump about always having him on speed-dial to the contrary (which we should all take with a metric ton of salt, because IT’S DONALD TRUMP saying it), last Friday likely was the last active day for what we now know is the world’s weirdest destructive megawealthy pseudo-thinking unfunny annoying AF drug-fueled (more on that soon!) Nazi wannabe twerp, Elon Musk, in the American government. (For further proof, the man Musk recommended to Trump to run NASA, Jared Isaacman, will be un-nominated from the position this week.)
-The event did not disappoint if you like freak shows. Musk appeared as he always has, not dressed for the occasion in a T-shirt and blazer and baseball cap – but also wearing a prominent and impossible-to-miss shiner under his right eye. Apartheid Boy tried to woozily claim that it came from the five-year-old son he had been brandishing throughout DC as a human shield from hard questions (and who famously dug out a booger from his nose and wiped on the resolute desk, making President Germophobe recondition the entire Resolute Desk) (and to clarify, the five-year-old dug out the booger, not Elon), while Trump tried to stay awake while taking a typically classy shot at Joe Biden by admitting Trump was not sympathetic to Biden’s recent cancer diagnosis at all because of how “nasty” Biden was.
-While the behavior and words of both men should always make people wonder about drug use (ANYONE IN THERE, JAKE TAPPER?!?!), the New York Times reported on Friday morning detailing Musk’s massive use of ketamine, Adderall (reportedly Trump’s fave) and mushrooms going as far back as the 2024 campaign. Musk, whose head-rolling and garbled speaking on Friday duplicated similar behaviors (including during the inauguration) tried to deny it, late Saturday Musk found his way to his garbage dump social media site X to formally reply – a reply that can be accurately summarized as “Nuh-UH!”
-As for that shiner, nobody really believes his kid did it. Most reports actually claim it was Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent that clocked him during or after a Cabinet meeting which at the time was reported as merely an argument between the men. And even that is now being taken rather skeptically after - TRIGGER WARNING - the stories of Musk stealing the wife of Trump Right Cloven Hoof Stephen Miller after they became a “throuple” are still out there.
-Far more seriously, upon his exit Musk also did not reply to multiple reports that are starting to quantify the damage he and his DOGE minions have done to not just the government, but the world. Specifically, new reporting is showing that the uncalled-for cuts to the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) – which Musk and other MAGAts called ‘wasteful spending’ – may have already cost 300,000 lives (a significant number of them children) just in the end of distribution of AIDS drugs and food relief in countries that relied on both from the United States, and is likely causing upwards of over 100 preventable deaths per day already.
-These reports are being echoed by several high-profile celebrities who do work in relief services through other world entities like the United Nations and private philanthropies, among them Bill Gates (who warned about them when they came out) and Bono (who further committed MAGA aposty by talking about the cuts on, of all places, the Joe Rogan podcast). Naturally, Musk denies the cuts, though for many in MAGA land, they probably see the deaths as a benefit and a delight.
-Oh, you think that last statement was a bit too harsh? You may not think so once I give you the next report on one of MAGA’s brightest stars and her antics over the weekend. Ladies and gentlemen … I give you the junior Senator from the state of Iowa, the former farmer who wore “bread bags” in her boots during winter to work the fields before she came to Washington, Joni Ernst.
-On Friday, Ernst held a town hall – something MAGA leadership is desperately trying to get their minions to stop doing because they never end well, and their cost/benefit analysis claims the grief of not doing them may be easier to tolerate than the the grief of doing them. They may have a point, because at her Town Hall in Iowa’s Butler County, a constituent demanded to know why she seemed to be in favor of the House-passed Big Bill O’Crap and its savage cuts to Medicaid and Medicare that will be used to make people like Elon Musk richer and explode the federal deficit. Ernst’s response? QUOTE, “Well, we are all going to die!” END QUOTE.
-Naturally, the crowd erupted and jeered at the brutality and flippancy of the response – and Ernst’s first reaction was a very Karen-like “For heaven’s sake, folks!” But when she saw the influential Des Moines Register plaster the quote over the front fold of yesterday’s newspaper, she realized she could not let the controversy and passions that it stirred go unaddressed.
-However, the way she decided to address it was reminiscent of the other commercial she filmed that reportedly put her over the top for her first Senate run – a commercial where she talked delightfully about castrating pigs in a clear parallel of her seeing Democrats as the pigs and her as the castrator.
-Ernst filmed what she labeled an apology – but she filmed it while walking through a cemetery. With that backdrop, Ernst – in a full-faced TikTok-esque video – started by saying “I made an incorrect assumption that everyone in the auditorium understood that yest, we are all going to perish from the Earth.” She followed that up with MAGA wit with “So I apologize. And I’m really, really glad that I did not have to bring up the tooth fairy as well,” before admonishing those who think the government should try to extend lives with health care by “encour(aging) (them) to embrace my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.” And, of course, also talking about “hysteria … coming from the left” for the hubbub in the first place.
-(STANDS ON SOAPBOX)
-Many have reported that cruelty is very much a bedrock of MAGA. Ernst may have been touted for a moment or two as someone that would not do that, but it is now a sad fact that to be MAGA and to be a Trump supporter, you must not only embrace such cruelty, you must allow something in your soul be relaxed or suspended or unleashed that lets you celebratesuch cruelty to raise in that world. Ernst has done that, and personally speaking, it is that celebration that I try to use as motivation to defeat them and nonviolently get them the Hell away from political power. I will use this modest platform to ask you to do the same.
-(STEPS OFF SOAPBOX)
-From that not-so-petty atrocity, I don’t want you to think that apologies can’t be sincere. Also this weekend, we have an example of a proper and heartfelt apology coming from the world of Broadway, of all places.
-Last week, TIME Magazine ran a cover story on the reigning diva (in the best sense) of Broadway, Audra McDonald, who is currently playing one of the biggest roles in musicals: Mama Rose in GYPSY. The interview rankled another Broadway mega-star, Patti LuPone, who responded to the McDonald interview with her own interview in which she made truly awful remarks about McDonald and another Broadway star, Kecia Lewis. LuPone’s remarks were met with fury by most actors in New York, and a letter was signed by over 600 Broadway actors calling LuPone’s comments “degrading and misogynistic … a blatant act of racialized disrespect … bullying … harassment.”
-In response, LuPone wrote another letter on her Instagram feed: “For as long as I have worked in the theatre, I have spoken my mind and never apologized. That is changing today. I am deeply sorry for the words I used during THE NEW YORKER interview, particularly about Kecia Lewis, whidch were demeaning and disrespectful. I regret my flippant and emotional response during this interview, which were inappropriate, and I am devastated that my behavior has offended others and has run counter to what we hold dear in this community. I hope to have the chance to speak to Audra and Kecia personally to offer my sincere apologies.”
-There is more to LuPone’s apology, but in a world where we are too used to non-apology apologies, don’t be a pig castrator – be a Broadway star!
-There is an update on the tariff ruling from Thursday where the U.S. Court of International Trade ruled the STUPIDSTUPID MAGAGOPTrump Tariffs were illegal – the update being an appellate court late Thursday temporarily suspended the suspension to allow for the inevitable appeal by Team Trump to allow Dear Leader the kingly power to wreak havoc on the world’s economy because he thinks so and is really really dumb about tariffs.
-The general consensus was that the hold would be temporary, in part because there is virtually no doubt Trump does not have that power, in part because the back-and-forth are-they-or-are-they-not nature of what Trump was doing means no negotiations with any countries are going to happen (despite claims to the contrary this morning by Commerce Secretary Howard “Nutlick” Lutnick), and in large part because of the now-established dictum that “Trump Always Chickens Out” when it comes to tariffs.
-And by every account, HOO BOY does Trump hate Hate HAAATE being labelled “TACO Trump” by Wall Street because of his easily-observed pattern of behavior and overall suckiness when it comes to making money. Some whispers claim people surrounding Dear Leader are worried that Trump’s blood pressure rises whenever he is called “Chicken TACO” or that his Press Secretary KaroLIEne Leavitt is now being called “TACO Belle” or that his attempt to raise tariffs on Chinese steel by 50% (in a speech before trapped steelworkers in Pittsburgh) will ultimately never happen – but raise your TACOs, dream of the once-fond dream of 2016 that there would be TACO Trucks on every street corner, and hey, sing along to “TACO TACO MAN” (to the tune of “MACHO MACHO MAN”) and go find some Trump TACO memes to enjoy and venerate Dear Leader!
-Trump also reposted a QAnon-inspired social media post that claims Joe Biden died before the 2020 election and the “Joe Biden” that has been “in public” since then is a clone. Stable genius who needs more salsa picante, methinks ...
-On to Ukraine, where there is much breaking news this morning on the eve of a new round of talks between Ukraine and Russia to try to put an end to the invasion by pointing out how badly Ukraine is taking it to Vladimir Putin. This week, a series of attacks have been made in cities throughout Ukraine, killing and wounding civilians (which has been Putin’s strategy since his 72-hour conquest of Kyiv didn’t happen), as well as an attack on a Ukrainian military training depot that killed 12 soldiers and led to the resignation of the Army commander responsible for such training. Russian forces also appeared to be massing around the city of Kharkiv, signaling a potential offensive to take a few more kilometers of space before trying to shove Volodymyr Zelenskyy to take a crappy deal.
-Ukraine, however, has been countering. There were reports yesterday about a freight train that crashed or was attacked near Moscow that led to a commuter train accident with fatalities, followed by another report of a train with Russian military supplies heading towards occupied Crimea that was derailed and significantly destroyed, in the process cutting that supply line off from Russian troops on the island. With the table set …
-THIS JUST IN: Ukraine executed a massive and massively impressive series of attacks on air bases throughout Russia, including as far into Russian territory as Siberia. The attacks featured drones that were transported into Russia in trucks, that were then launches and maneuvered en masse and in coordination to fly just under long-range Russian bombers, detonating under the areas where the planes mounted ballistic missiles and fuel tanks – and, in at least one attack, then saw the trucks that transported the drones to their places self-destructing just after the drones were all launched.
-Ukrainian sources report the attack was over 18 months in the planning, with Zelenskyy at the epicenter of the planning – and by all accounts, the results will be devastating to Russia. The BBC confirm the attacks, with several other sources reporting 41 airplanes destroyed or damaged significantly by these attacks. That represents 1/3 of the Russian Air Force, shows another quantum leap in the use of drones in warfare (much of it created by an otherwise outgunned and outmanned Ukrainian military) and may give Zelenskyy a proverbial “card” to play as he heads to the negotiations and the world waits to see whether Trump’s criticisms of Putin are being choreographed by the Kremlin or might actually reflect what would be an astonishing change in behavior from everything we have seen so far from TACO Donnie.
-SLAVA UKRAINI!
-And with THAT, let’s move on to today’s history bits …
-NEWS ON THIS DATE: In 1494, a commission from King James IV led to the first batch of scotch whiskey. In 1779, Benedict Arnold was court-martialed. In 1964, the Rolling Stones arrive in the U.S. for the first time. In 1969, John Lennon and Yoko Ono record “Give Peace a Chance” while lying in a bed in Montreal. In 1990, the United Sates and the Soviet Union/Russia agreed to end chemical weapons production. In 2009, General Motors filed for bankruptcy – it was saved thanks to Barack Obama (tell a MAGAt today!).
-DEBUTS ON THIS DATE: FALSTAFF (1893), televised boxing (1939), SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1967), the Heimlich Maneuver (1974), CNN (1980), SPEAKING IN TONGUES (1983), THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O’BRIEN (2009), MOULIN ROUGE! (2001).
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Brigham Young, John Van Druten, Nelson Riddle, William Sloane Coffin, Andy Griffith, Marilyn Monroe, Christopher Lasch, Alan Ameche, Pat Boone, Reverend Ike, Gerald Scarfe, Colleen McCullough, Morgan Freeman, Cleavon Little, Rene Auberjonois, Randy Hundley, Brian Cox, Jonathan Pryce, Ronnie Wood, Powers Boothe, Tom Sneva, Diana Canova, Lisa Hartman Black, Jeffrey Hawkins, Alan Wilder, Paul Coffey, India Allen, Greg Schiano, Heidi Klum, Amy Schumer, Brandi Carlile, Carlos Zambrano, Nikki Glaser, and Tom Holland.
-REST IN PEACE/POWER: Leslie Howard, John Dewey, Curly Lambeau, Helen Keller, Reinhold Niebuhr, Harvey Firestone, Arthur Nielsen, David Ruffin, George Mikan, Yves Saint Laurent, Ann B. Davis, and Cynthia Weill.
-FEED THE WORMS: David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz and Yevgeny Prigozhin entered Earth on this date. Former Worst President nominee James Buchanan and Adolf Eichmann bought it on this date.
-American soccer star turned MAGAt Alexi Lalas was born on this date. Lizzie Borden died on this date. You decide if they get a Happy Birthday/Rest in Peace or if they Feed the Worms.
-CULTURE ON THIS DATE: The Number One Nonfiction Book in America on this date … in 2025, the book labeled “nonfiction” at the top of the list is instead a gossipy screed about former President Joe Biden smeared by Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson which is listed incorrectly as “nonfiction” … in 2015, THE WRIGHT BROTHERS by David McCullough … in 2005, THE WORLD IS FLAT by Thomas Friedman … in 1995, THE HOT ZONE by Richard Preston … in 1985, IACOCCA: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY by Lee Iacocca with William Novak … and in 1975, THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE by Charles Berlitz.
-TODAY’S MUSIC INTERLUDE: Happy Birthday to Alanis Morissette! (Here’s an unedited version of the classic video, with the late Taylor Hawkins on drums.)