NATIONAL NAP DAY UPDATES

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-Fresh off a self-induced emasculation at the hands of his fragile ego and the quick wit of Jimmy Kimmel, we flip back to the courts for Ex-President Trump (R-apist) XCI, where his attempts to delay his trials long enough to eke his way into the White House again in January continues. While the world waits an asininely long time for SCOTUS to hear Trump’s Total Immunity claim at the end of April, this morning Trump is trying to use that to win a further delay in the New York case involving paying off porn star Stormy Daniels to stop their ten-minute stand from being publicized in 2016, somehow claiming things happened in that case after Trump became President that can’t be used because Presidents Can Schtupp Anyone And If They’re President It’s Okay and Satisfiying To The Woman (argument paraphrased).

-Meanwhile, a day long hearing is being held in FL by Trump’s favorite judge, Aileen Cannon, as Cannon continues to gleefully stretch out what is the most straightforward of the four criminal cases against Trump. Cannon has also allowed briefs from two notorious conservative legal minds – immigrant hater Stephen Miller and former Reagan Attorney General Ed Meese – that essentially argue Special Prosecutor Jack Smith is unqualified to prosecute the President. Smith may be thinking ahead of Team Trump, though, bringing in two new prosecutors including a specialist in appeals – a sign that, should Cannon attempt to dismiss the case against Trump’s document seizure in exchange for a SCOTUS seat – er, because tsk tsk tsk reasons – Smith will be poised to appeal such a ruling to the 11^th Circuit, along with what many observers see as a long-overdue attempt to remove Cannon from the case.

-And E. Jean Carroll may not be done with Trump, either. While her legal team told the NY court they would accept the $91M bond paid by an insurance group on behalf of Trump (with lots of conjecture about everything from alleged Russian connections to the group to a simple belief at least some of Trump’s properties have enough in them to be worth fronting Trump that fine), Carroll’s legal team noted they are aware of Trump’s speech in GA over the weekend and CNBC appearance this morning in which, despite (or because?) of the fine being paid, Trump STILL continues to defame Carroll as “Ms. Bergdorf-Goodman” whom he “never met” despite photographic and eyewitness evidence that clearly shows Trump is lying through his veneers. AGAIN. Carroll has repeatedly said she will take Trump back to court if Trump were to continue lying about her.

-The brickbats against the SOTU response from AL Sen. Katie Britt (ObeyeR), led by the woman whose case Britt misused on Thursday, pointing out that every aspect of the story Britt told about her was both horrifically wrong (she was abused by a pimp, not other immigrants, and was attacked during the George W. Bush administration, not Biden’s) and not acknowledged or given permission to use by Britt. On top of that, the kitchen she used to deliver her speech to make a connection with everyday housewives (because housewives love kitchens, right?!) was delivered in a 6300-sq.ft. house with a SubZero refrigerator that itself runs around $13,000. Britt tried to do damage control on right-wing talk shows yesterday, and someone somewhere even floated a story that Britt did so well she is on Trump’s Vice Presidential short list!

-That info could be coming from the new Republican National Committee, which on Friday installed Trump acolyte and election denier Michael Whatley and failson wife Lara Trump as co-chairs. Lara again reiterated her promise that the RNC’s first and major goal is to raise money for Trump for everything Trump needs, including and especially his legal fees. That was re-confirmed by elder failson Donald Trump, Jr., who declared the old Republican Party “DEAD (SCHNOOOORRTTT!)” (ALLEGEDLY) (eyeroll), positioning the RNC in line with the Trump Organization, Trump Foundation, Trump Airlines, Trump Casinos, Trump Vodka, Trump Water, Trump University, and Trump Steaks as another Trump branding exercise sure to find the same kind of success as all of the above.

-In far more serious news, the conflict between President Biden and Benjamin Netanyahu may be coming to a head, as Netanyahu has said he promises to ignore Biden’s “red line” and attack a Gaza city now full of Palestinian refugees on the verge of starvation. Biden and Bibi are personally at loggerheads, and Bibi’s allegiances with Trump were exposed as on the nose as they could be with Bibi appearing this morning on FOX AND FRIENDS this morning. The ongoing war is arguably the largest wedge between Biden and many of his supporters.

-Back to the Oscars, where the early start to the show may or may not have led to what most saw was a pretty lively show, but there were plenty of highlights. Beside the Trump burn courtesy of Kimmel, the performance highlights (Kimmel moving the show along, John Cena all but nude to present the costume Oscar (and he wasn’t – he had a flesh-colored jock on), the epic “I’m Just Ken” production number), speeches (Robert Downey Jr.’s wit, Emma Stone’s charm, the passion and sorrow of the documentary winner 20 DAYS IN MARIUPOL) (SLAVA UKRAINI!) and Oscar landmarks (first-ever Oscar for a Godzilla movie, capstone Oscar for Studio Ghibli and its founder, Hayao Miyazaki, Billie Eilish becoming the youngest double-Oscar winner in history), it marks an end to the 2023-24 awards season, and rumblings to perhaps allow John Mulaney to become the next host.

-And in closing, there was a kerfuffle yesterday involving the British Royal Family and … technology. It seems a photo published yesterday with Princess Kate Middleton – the first since surgery on Kate in January – was struck from news sites and removed by the royal family after admissions that the photo was digitally altered, with a focus on some of the hands and fingers in the photo. Concern has apparently been building about Kate’s health and what the royals are doing in relation to her and themselves, and the photo – allegedly taken by Kate’s husband, Prince and King-in-Waiting William – became yet another touch point for British royal family watchers.

-On this date in 1918, the first cases of what became known as the “Spanish Flu” were reported in New York City. On this date in 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev became the last Premier of the Soviet Union. On this date in 2011, an earthquake and tsunami hit Japan and led to the meltdown of the Fukushima nuclear power plant. And in the year 2020, the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 to be a worldwide pandemic.

-Notable debuts on this date: the Army Corps of Engineers (1779), RIGOLETTO (1851), Douglas MacArthur as Supreme Commander of Pacific Forces (1942), A RAISIN IN THE SUN (1959), COPS (1989).

-Happy Birthday to Raoul Walsh, Shemp Howard, Dorothy Gish, Lawrence Welk, Mercer Ellington, Vinnette Carroll, Ralph Abernathy, Sam Donaldson, Flaco Jimenez, Bobby McFerrin, Jerry Zucker, Douglas Adams, Jimmy Iovine, Nina Hagen, Ken, Mike Percy, Alex Kingston, Jesse Jackson Jr., Lisa Loeb, Terrence Howard, Johnny Knoxville, Bobby Abreu, Becky Hammon, Elton Brand, Thora Birch, Anthony Davis, and Jodie Comer.

-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Alexander Fleming, Oscar Mayer, Erle Stanley Gardner, Philo Farnsworth, Whitney Young Jr., Vince Edwards, Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion, Betty Hutton, Merlin Olsen, Hal Blaine, and Bud Grant.

-Feed the Worms: Rupert Murdoch and Antonin Scalia entered Earth on this date. Slobodan Milosevic bought it on this date.