NATIONAL HOMEMADE SOUP DAY UPDATES
For So Many of Life’s Biggest and Smallest Problems, Soup Can Be The Answer!
-As happened the week before with Colombia, the weekend’s threatened Catastrophic Trade Wars involving Mexico and Canada thankfully fizzled out – and they fizzled out for reasons we needed to remind ourselves about in a more concentrated and intense way are The Way when it comes to Donald Trump. It is a cycle of bluster and threats, freak outs, recognition of the problem and bamboozling Trump into thinking the problems have been solved, then annoyingly watch him take credit for solving a self-made problem with a solution that at best treads water and more than typically involves Trump getting pantsed (EEEEWWWWW).
-And that appears to have happened with the 25% tariff “threats.”
-Needless to say, there were zero rational reasons and many irrational and utter fantasy reasons for any tariffs to be assessed in the first place. Trump invoked massively open borders that don’t actually exist anymore and a burning fentanyl epidemic that went down – both thanks to the Biden Administration and his policies – and the whole idea that tariffs “work” either to punish nations (unless they are laser-focused on sociopolitical goals) or for the economic benefit of countries issuing the tariffs are known to generally be bunk. But not to Trump and whatever brain goo is in his skull – at least not until Monday.
-Because on Monday, the stock market fell over 600 points, and MAGA Republicans suddenly realized their red states would bear the brunt of retaliatory tariffs and the economic brake-slamming the tariffs would have created. So members of Team Trump desperately tried to get him to reverse his thinking, such as THAT is, and needed help from the countries Trump was looking to stupidly victimize.
-Thing is, the Trump Playbook is now open and easy to follow for world leaders: flatter the baby, make him think his hands are normal size and he is an Alpha male, and get him to think that policies that were already in place that “addressed” the non-existent problems were now “on the table” for baby to applaud and cheer for, and then allow baby to say NNNOOO! And end the tariffs, then applaud baby and perhaps send him a gift after the phone call.
-Thus, Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum “promised” to “move” 10,000 troops that were already in place and get Trump to agree to stop the reverse flow of guns from the US to Mexico to get that country’s tariff threat reversed, and thus did Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau “promise” to “move” 10,000 Mounties to the border (even though 8500 of those 10,000 were already in place thanks to a 2021 agreement with Biden!) (and yes, notice the magic 10,000 number – that makes baby happy!) to “stop” what is really a trickle of illegal drugs (if you don’t count Molson or bootleg Kids in the Hall performances) down south to the U.S. to get those 25% tariffs waived.
-Well, technically, Trump has said the tariffs have been “suspended” for a month, but again we know past is precedent, and since Trump will “demand” the countries attain goals he does not realize have already been achieved, expect the 25% tariff threat to become this term’s interminable Infrastructure Week.
-Now, there was a third country in this would-be Trade War, and that’s China. But those were 10% tariffs, not 25%, and those tariffs did go into effect last night, and China has countered with tariffs on their own so you may see some more inflation over those tariffs if you buy goods like smartphones, TVs, gaming consoles, and shoes – but not the massive crippling inflation a major tariff exchange could have created.
-That is good, because while the US/Canada/Mexico/China thing was unfolding, at the same time a far bigger worry kept amping up and still is. That, of course, is Co-President/Actual President/Puppet Master/WhateverTheFC*KHeIsandIsDoing Elon Musk, who as we speak is basically attempting an IT takeover of the Federal Government because, well, he apparently can and nobody who can stop or slow him down seems to want to.
-Beginning last week, under the non-existent authority of his “government efficiency” committee (IT IS NOT A DEPARTMENT) (for what that’s worth), Musk sent in six computer nerds under his employ – and I use the term “nerd” specifically, as all six are biological men between the ages of 18-24 (including at least two that appear to have incel ties and a third whose social media identification includes Canadian ancestry if not citizenship, a photo of him wearing a blazer and athletic fleece shorts, and proudly calling himself “Big Balls”) (how I WISH I was kidding) – to commandeer a frighteningly large amount of the computers that manage and make payments for the Federal government. The goal is just that: to allow Musk and the Alphas here to literally control what they say the Government can and cannot pay for.
-Wired Magazine has been at the forefront of these reports, and it does appear that, at a minimum, the world’s wealthiest man not named Vladimir Putin has access to as much sensitive information about us and you and Federal workers as he could ever want – though how much still seems to be open to some question. On the one hand, one of Apartheid Boy’s boys reportedly has access to some of the mainframe Federal computers – but on the other hand, as Paul Krugman wrote in his Substack, these ChatGPT wizards are about to be confronted with the reality that most if not all of the Federal computer infrastructure is actually built on, and is still running, the 1960s-70s COBOL computer language, potentially making for real headaches about actual actual access to the files, depending on how fast AI can learn how to unravel over 60 years’ worth of punch card and code text updates.
-THIS IS NOT TO SAY AT ALL that what is happening is NOT problematic. Far from it. Regarding the actual data issues, some personal finance sites (NOT ME!) are noting that, for the time being, it may not be a bad idea to treat what is happening with the computer systems as if it is the mother of all data breaches (since it likely is) and to take the kinds of precautions your bank asks you to if a data breach happens on their end – monitor your accounts, freeze your credit scores until you need access, etc. - and that you may also want to get a PIN code to allow you to submit your taxes as an extra layer of security (though reportedly Musk claims to have deleted a web site that would allow for free electronic submission of taxes). Again, please consult with experts on other steps and don’t take a random Substacker as the only source of advice for that. PLEASE!
-Beyond the question of the data itself, though, are more basic questions … like, why the Hell does a billionaire and six snot-nosed punks have access to the most sensitive information in the American government – and then working to make policy decisions based on having that access? Policy decisions like the ones surrounding the all-out attack on the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) by Musk.
-USAID, for those who don’t know, administers payments around the world for things like food relief, medical care, vaccinations, and the promotion of democracy – so you can see why Musk has called it “evil” and demanded that it be immediately ended and terminated. (That, and the fact that USAID was instrumental in the fall of the Apartheid government in South Africa and Musk is still angry about that – and if you think that’s an overstretch, THIS JUST IN: on his burning Dumpster fire of a social media site, Musk has called for the U.S. to allow more white South Africans the ability to migrate to this country).
-MUSK CANNOT DO THAT. Government agencies can only be ended through acts of Congress. Spending must be mandated and stopped by Congress. Private citizens are not supposed to speak for the government. This is all OBSCENELY illegal …
-… if, that is, anyone like Congress or the courts will try to enforce it and/or get Musk the Hell out of the White House.
-Democrats do have a few tools they can try to use to at least slow down Musk and other bad stuff – and, at least yesterday, some finally began to flex their muscles to see if they can and will consistently use them. A news conference with a number of Democratic Congresspeople (including Reps. Gerry Connolly, Ilhan Omar, and Jamie Raskin and Senators Chris Murphy and Chris Van Hollen) was held outside USAID headquarters, followed by an attempt to get access to the space (which were being ‘guarded’ by what presumably were Musk-hired rent-a-cops). HI Sen. Brian Schatz announced he will put a hold on the ratification of all Department of State appointee votes until the USAID shenanigans are stopped (and was supported by Sen. Adam Schiff). And some of the social media posts emanating from still-way-behind-the-times Minority Leader Chuck Schumer are at least sharpening a bit of their rhetoric. So, a start.
-Ultimately, though, the GOP has control of Congress – and, sadly, their self-gelding at the hands of Trump and Musk continues this morning. Perpetually worried Sen. Susan Collins and alleged foreign policy hawk Sen. Todd Young announced this morning that being downwind of Trump’s sharts are more important than protecting American foreign policy and have said they will vote for Putin’s Girlfriend Tulsi Gabbard to be Trump’s Director of National Intelligence, while Dr. Senator Bill Cassidy announced he would violate the Hippocratic Oath by supporting Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. to run the Departments of Health and Human Services. These are all committee votes that now move the nominations to the floor for final votes, and whether Democrats use their filibusters to try to at least stop their final votes (and perhaps motivate Trump to make them absentee appointments, because what are laws and norms?) will determine if billionaires and fading grandpas can allow tossing the Constitution out the door or not.
-BUT WE CAN HELP. After all, community organizer extraordinaire Saul Alinsky pointed out that the way to overturn people who seem to have more power than you is to first take the wins when they come (see “Tariffs” above) and then use their power against them – and the power Musk has is being a billionaire, which is also his weakness because nobody really likes billionaires, and Musk is a particularly unlikeable one (the polling says so) who can and should easily be made Public Enemy Number One. And yes, make Musk Public Enemy Number One, because that will – or should – make Trump angry because he is not Public Enemy Number One, and may motivate Trump to act against Elon.
-That Trump has not yet done so despite volumes of stories about the Trump White House really hating Musk and Trump’s previous habit of cutting off anyone who crosses him for the faintest of reasons is leading to further questions about the mental and physical health of Trump or/and just how deeply Trump owes Musk (who himself has a ton of behavioral and, reportedly, drug use issues himself). A press availability yesterday in which Trump signed many Executive Orders that he clearly had no idea of (and where an “investment bank” was announced that could be good for the country but is likely just another slush fund for Trump and his cronies) made that clear again.
-Trump and Musk are snowflakes who hate hate HATE bad press against them, so the more we mock and protest against them (I would argue in the above order), the more chances we have to change the conversation and make Trump make one of his patented idiot moves that wind up helping the rest of us.
-In Summary and In Conclusion before we get to the day’s notes, Trump’s moves continue to follow a pattern that can and are being played to the favor of those who recognized them, while Musk’s moves are weird and disturbing and massively illegal, but the battle between the law and power (and who will use what against whom) is on – so be on the side of the law and against the power, notice and act on the patterns, and let’s find ways to stick it to them … as people are who, according to reports, have begun to graffiti Tesla Cybertrucks with anti-Musk and anti-Trump sayings, as well as the occasional drawings of penises on the sides of the Dumpsters with wheels, which this Substack cannot condone but can enjoy because there is an eternal 13-year-old in all of us. (And because, fk Apartheid Boy with a cybertruck with a dong spray painted on it).
-NEWS ON THIS DATE: In 1789, George Washington officially won the first American Presidential election when the Electoral Congress unanimously voted for him. In 1846, followers of what we now know as the Mormon Church began their migration to Utah. In 1932, the first American Winter Olympics began in Lake Placid, NY. In 1945, the Yalta Conference began to plan the end of World War II in Europe. In 1974, heiress Patty Hearst was kidnapped. In 2012, the last known World War II veteran passed away.
-DEBUTS ON THIS DATE: THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS (1826), OUR TOWN (1938), SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1938), Ceylon (1948), THE SILENT WORLD (1953), PATTON (1970), RUMOURS (1977), CONTROL (1986), THE SIMS (2000), Facebook (2004),
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Fernand Leger, Eddie Foy Jr., Byron Nelson, Rosa Parks. Ida Lupino, Betty Freidan, Jerry Adler, David Brenner, George Romero, John Schuck, Florence LaRue, Alice Cooper, Lawrence Taylor, Jonathan Larson, Denis Savard, Clint Black, Dan Plesac, Rob Corddry, Oscar De la Hoya, and Natalie Imbruglia.
-REST IN PEACE/REST IN POWER: Armand Peugeot, Louis Jordan, Alex Harvey, Karen Carpenter, Liberace, John Dehner, Ossie Davis, Betty Friedan, Lux Interior, Maurice White, and John Mahoney.
-FEED THE WORMS: The Confederacy was formed in 1861. Dan Quayle entered Earth on this date.
-Charles Lindberg was born on this date. You decide if he gets a Happy Birthday or if he Feeds the Worms.
-YOUR MUSICAL INTERLUDE FOR THE DAY: Happ y Birthday to MJ Lenderman!