NATIONAL HANDCUFF DAY UPDATES
Don’t Let ME Stop You from Whatever Uses You Are Imagining With Those Things!
-Apologies for the lack of a Tuesday update. I was hit hard emotionally with the transpiring events, particularly with a friend who has a trans child who attended a rally in Chicago protesting the decision of a hospital to stop medical care for transitioning individuals because of the monstrous policies of Trump and his administration. The kid made a sign which (I am paraphrasing to protect identities) essentially said if nobody else will fight for them, that kid will fight for themselves and their friends. It made his father tear up and admit he feels like he and his family are becoming refugees in their home country thanks to that bastard in the White House, even as the fight in his child says so much that is awesome about how the child is being raised.
-We know these fights are real. We know the stakes of so many of these fights. And for the hope and need to fight, we know for many these are the worst of times – and, unless things like uprisings or chronic medical conditions intercede (possible as each might be), they will be worse and harder for too many. For what it’s worth, that’s where the snark comes in – to keep swinging and work to ultimately reverse this shite.
-On one level, the fact that we are talking about this after one goddamn month of this regime is a sad state of where we stand. The massive firings in the civil service are in and of themselves brutal. At this point chances are we all know people directly affected by the firings themselves, and that doesn’t begin to discuss the ripple effects they are likely to have everywhere. We’re talking about everything from likely not being able to visit a national park (no Rangers or ticket-takers) to massive inevitable confusion over filing our taxes (over 6,000 to get the axe at the I.R.S.) and more we will discover, there will be a direct impact on daily lives we are just about to begin finding out about.
-On the other, there is the continued utter dipshittery of the cuts themselves – which should have been obvious when a drug-fueled ignoramus hires barely-out-of-school barely-trained dudebros who think they are Lords of the World to have at it with employment list and then claim TAXPAYER SAVINGS! There are already shocks to those system, from the nuclear fuel experts lopped off late last week to the bird flu experts let go in a previous wave that said departments are desperate to try to rehire – only to discover the same dumbasses didn’t have personal emails to the workers, making them even harder to try to rehire (to say nothing of why would you go back to work for a boss who chopped you off with no severance and think they wouldn’t do it again in a heartbeat?).
-And all of THIS doesn’t even get to Alleged President Trump himself, who took the time from a five-day golfing trip to his Mar-a-Lago compound (guests and spies welcome – who’s checking, after all?!) and a joy ride at the Daytona 500 in his hermetically-sealed limo (to receive cheers from people well insulated in his armor-plated car to make sure he wouldn’t ever have to interact with his followers) to first go full-bore Putin-Led Internet Troll (and Dementia-Addled Ranting Id) (dementia being ALLEGED) (EYEROLL- ow! My eyes) on Ukraine and President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.
-In a garglespewed series of appearances and social media posts, Trump aped Russian talking points spoke from Google Translate from the original Soviet blarghed that if Ukraine wanted peace, they would need to stop the wary they started and accept the grabbing of their p**ies peace plan of the failed leader of the failed country whose invasion has been a catastrophic failure Putin – all while trying to burn Zelenskyy as “a modestly-successful comedian” who has now become (PROJECTION ALERT) a “dictator.”
-Just how deeply has Putin infiltrated Trump’s more-brittle-than-glaze-on-a-day-old-donut skull? So deeply that, in one of the vomitrambles, Trump not only claimed Zelenskyy cancelled a visit from U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent when there is both photographic and live video records of the visit on February 12, Trump referred to Bessent as “the Minister of Finance.”
-As if that weren’t bad enough, the other piece of cheese most of you have probably heard is that Trump attempted through his REAL WORLD clown of a Transportation Secretary, Sean Duffy, to end a new New York City toll that charges fees on pay roads in and out of the city during working hours by first claiming he had killed the plan (when he apparently has not), and then in a social media post thrust out his diapered crotch (because to him his diaper is more like a codpiece) to proclaim “I AM A KING!” followed by a White House-generated social media post of Trump on a TIME Magazine cover wearing (of course) a stupidly-small crown through some kind of gold filter.
-Yeah … it’s a lot … so how are you gonna try to cope with all THAT, Mister Glass-Half-Full? I hear some of you ask. Okay, let’s try …
-(Deep breath, knuckle cracks, second deep breath.)
-Let’s start with the plain reality that what everyone is feeling and watching, despite whatever some laundering media outlets are trying to do, is real. This is insane, this is out of control, this is real, and this shit IS NOT WORKING.
-The civil service clearing out is sure as fk not working. Even Fox is admitting “savings” being promoted by Trump and real President, Elon Musk ain’t there in the least – and is absolutely hitting people that voted for Trump (often the hardest) and are now seeing what the rest of us were saying about what would happen (which is … (gestures wildly)), not to mention all the hardcore damage being done that in some circumstances (international diplomacy, medical research, belief that mega billionaires from Silicon Valley who claim to understand how computers work, much less social engineering) may take years if not decades to rebuild … if we’re lucky.
-The Trump/Putin Puppeteering is not working. Multiple Republicans are stirring about the selling out Trump is doing and understand how awful the ramifications are, and while they of course are not ready to act on any of that stuff (because of reporting from the New Yorker and Vanity Fair that many GOP Senators literally fear physical attacks by MAGAts) (never mind that, isolated incidents and January 6 aside, Trump has never been able to conjure up so much as a semi-organized group of supporters outside of a Presidential campaign or court house or his golf club, much less a potential mob), the grotesque lies and knowledge that, y’know, PUTIN INVADED UKRAINE AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND is generally known and should probably be acted on if someone on that side of the aisle had … oh, what’s the word … guts …
-Also and always, SLAVA UKRAINI!
-And the self-anointment isn’t working. (Ew. Sorry!) Regarding Self-Professed “King” Babyhands Nippledick Droolbucket Trump, the 30-day mark of the Presidency is marked by a honeymoon period almost as small as Trump’s appendages. While relatively high in relation to Trump himself, his approval ratings are already lower than any President starting his term than anyone except, well, Trump in 2017 – and CNN reports that in the last week, the numbers are falling faster in the wake of all the news (and, of course, the high-and-likely-staying-high-for-awhile price of eggs). A vast majority of Americans are seeing what Trump is doing, and they DO. NOT. LIKE. IT. (As they shouldn’t.)
-The White House is at least vaguely aware of some of this not-working thing and may be planning a direct counter. Reports in MAGA-ville are saying that, in an effort to salvage PR about the Project 2025-fication of the Government, Musk may be preparing a bribe quiet charge on his AMEX pocket change for him “refund” to all Americans of what he alleges is “savings” from all the cutting he is doing. One report claims that figure could be as high as $5,000 per person – which, if there are about 340.1 million Americans and if my math is right (and I was an English major for a reason), is somewhere in the ballpark of $1.7 billion dollars. (I think ... or is that 1.7 trillion? Can someone recheck please?)
-That, admittedly, is pocket change for Apartheid Boy, but not an insignificant sum for a Treasury likely going to be hard-stressed on multiple fronts – not to mention (as we should have learned from COVID?) a mite bit inflationary at a time when inflation is already a problem getting worse (see “Eggs,” everywhere).
-Another area where Team Trump may try to dig out is Congress, if you remember them. For all the approvals and fawning that the Senate has done to appease Trump, they should have long realized that Trump will never – EVER – reciprocate. So that has happened again when, this week, the Senate got fed up with the infighting over a funding and budget bill that is mired in House infighting and passed their own $300 billion measure – only to be told that no, Donnie wants a bigger number to befit his new self-shart-on throne, he wants the $8*0 billion measure allegedly being discussed in the House but by most accounts nowhere near close to passage. A potential formal shutting down of the Government – which only MAGAts will love because FK them – is not out of the question, assuming Congressional Democrats actually don’t help as they say they won’t (but with all the Dad Jokes flying around rather than fire-and-brimstone about … (gestures wildly) … who knows?).
-While we’re here, THIS JUST IN: Mitch McConnell, the very personification of the word “craven” whose shattering of norms and shameless manipulation of Senate processes (resulting in the Suck-Up Six Supreme Court) followed by cowardly refusal to push for either well-deserved impeachments helped directly lead to … (gestures wildly) … will retire at the end of his term in 2026, presuming his increasingly frail health does not hasten it. Here is hoping the rest of his life on Earth is full of a slice of the pain and misery he has created, followed by an eternity of the same, as he has earned.
-Resistance to Team MuskTrump is starting to emerge. I started today’s Update with the protest with the trans community in Chicago – others took place over the weekend – and on Presidents Day there were a number of well-attended nationwide protests against the regime (not that you would have seen coverage of it, natch). Organizations appear to be simmering to amp up the disagreements, with several social media accounts mentioning one called 50501 (pronounced “fifty-fifty-one”) which refers to 50 stats and 50 protests in one day reportedly designed to be a “decentralized rapid response” model for quick and large protests to stifle any attempt to suppress them or create a reason for MuskTrump to declare some kind of martial law.
-That sounds vaguely like the 2017 Women’s March model, which was massive but one organizers believe is not the right model for 2025, perhaps because of the threat or perhaps because of the nature of the 2024 election. Nonetheless, another set of protests is being put together that is even less centralized, and aimed at hitting funders of this regime: day- and week-long economic boycotts. The first is set for next Friday, in which protestors are asked not to buy anything except if absolutely necessary – and if so to buy from local merchants. A set of other such micro-boycotts are being organized including a week-long Amazon boycott and a second national buyout in April. The success of these movements, it is hoped, could combine with the aforementioned low poll numbers (assuming the Musk bribe ‘refund’ happens) to get currently gutless Republicans (as evidenced by the just-announced approval of Ka$h Patel as FBI Director) to use the power they actually have to slow or stop MuskTrump.
-If you are wondering whether these non-violent movements work, I would direct you to a study conducted by Harvard University’ Erica Chenoweth – explained by her in a 2012 TED talk – in which her data crunching revealed that non-violent protest movements (including marches, strikes, and protests) are far more effective at regime change than violent ones, and that the magic number after which corrupt regimes are likely to fall and be replaced by more democratic ones is 3.5% of the total population of a given country. (The reason: at that point, everyone knows someone involved in the protests including elites – and that’s when attempts by authorities start meeting internal resistance and actual leadership changes start to happen.) In the U.S., that’s a tick under 12 million people – or more or less the populations of New York City and Los Angeles. So … doable, IMHO …
-There we are. Things is tough and is gonna be tough for at least as long as the current roster of ‘leaders’ takes place – the bad stuff will be ordered, it will be implemented badly, it will generate anger and protest, and … (gestures quietly) … stay well, find the joy, and toast that half-full glass. We have already earned it, and we will earn more very very soon …
-But first, THE TRIVIA!
-EVENTS ON THIS DATE: In 1920, the “deeds” to Eastern Samoa were given to the United States, becoming American Samoa as a result. In 1939, Nazis rented Madison Square Garden for a rally. In 1942, the first flying ace of World War II was honored – Pilot Edward O’Hare. In 1962, John Glenn became the first American to orbit Earth. In 1986, the first component of the Mir space station was launched into orbit.
-DEBUTS ON THIS DATE: The United States Postal Service (1792), THE BARBER OF SEVILLE (1816), The Metropolitan Museum of Art (MOMA, 1872), Futurism (1909), THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1952), Jimi Hendrix (1960), “Stop! In The Name of Love” (1965), “Instant Karma” (1970), The Southeast Atlantic Treaty Organization (SEATO, 1976), THE SMITHS (1984).
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Ansel Adams, Gale Gordon, Gloria Vanderbilt, Robert Altman, Richard Matheson, Sidney Poitier, Amanda Blake, Bobby Unser, Larry Hovis, Nancy Wilson, Roger Penske, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Phil Esposito, Antonio Inoki, Mike Leigh, J. Geils, Brenda Bletheyn, Sandy Duncan, Jennifer O’Neill, Peter Strauss, Billy Zoom, Ivana Trump, Walter Becker, Poison Ivy, Anthony Head, Joel Hodgson, Charles Barkley, French Stewart, Cindy Crawford, Kurt Cobain, Lili Taylor, Tom Waddle, Stephon Marbury, Chelsea Peretti, Lauren Ambrose, Chris Thile, Justin Verlander, Trevor Noah, and Olivia Rodrigo.
-REST IN PEACE/POWER: Frederick Douglass, Robert Peary, Max Schreck, Chester Nimitz, Walter Winchell, Alice Longworth Roosevelt, Rene Dubos, Dick York, Jon Didion, Ferruccio Lamborghini, Gene Siskel, Hunter S. Thompson, John Raitt, Sandra Dee, Curt Gowdy, and Peter Mondavi.
-FEED THE WORMS: Trump mentor and ultra-evil Roy Cohn and the aforementioned Mitch McConnell entered Earth on this date. Alexander Haig bought it on this date.
-Patty Hearst was born on this date. You decide if she gets a Happy Birthday or if she Feeds the Worms.
-TODAY’S MUSICAL INTERLUDE: Happy Birthday to Rihanna!