NATIONAL DRIVE-THRU DAY UPDATES
"I SAID A SMALL BURGER LARGE FRIES - NO, NOT EYES, FRIES! - AND A COKE! WHAT? NO - COKE - YES, A COKE!"
-What do you do when you massively overpay for a business, degrade its operation so badly that it becomes all but unusable for the casual person, try to make it up by demanding a fee to claim better reliability - only not to make it reliable but successfully bring in some of the worst people you can imagine to use the service, thus destroying any semblance of making the service attractive to normies, and you think you are one of the smartest people that ever walked the Earth with an ego that is somehow even bigger than that?
-WELL, if you're billionaire weirdo Elon Musk, you decide that the way to address all of the above issues (most of which are self-inflicted) is to ... REBRAND!
-And with that, the social media site apparently now formerly referred to as Twitter is now henceforth known as the cutting-edge, daring- edgy name of ... ready for it? ... X! Yes, the letter - unclear if it stands for the name Xavier, the Roman numeral 10, or the iconic Los Angeles-based punk band - but whatever it is, the site he bought continues to reel and stagger, now riper than ever to be overtaken (the most credible rival site, Threads, has yet to update its app since its debut earlier this month, leading some heavy former-Twitter users to hesitate before fully embracing it).
-Seven Republican candidates have qualified to participate in the first primary debate of the 2024 cycle, to be held August 23 in Milwaukee. Besides the current overwhelming polling leader, Twice-Indicted (so far) Ex-President (TIsoEP) Trump, the others that will be invited to the stage include continuing-to-fade Ron DeSantis, former SC Gov. Nikki Haley (now ahead of DeSantis for second place in SC), Sen. Tim Scott, former NJ Gov. Chris Christy, businessman Vivek Ramaswamy, and ND Gov. Doug Burgum, apparently a real person. Trump is not expected to join the others on the stage, claiming that he is too far ahead to bother (but reportedly privately nervous about displaying his fading skills on the debate stage and being an overall coward) and 'threatening' to book a separate event to run at the same time as the debate (even though Trump's crowds have dwindled precipitously in the last year).
-Trump himself has been posting on overdrive in the last two days, praising the UltraMAGA House for 'exposing' the 'corruption' of the 'most corrupt President ever - Joe Biden' (EYE ROLL) and demanding the Senate back the clown show hearings on the House side (fat chance), as court observers continue to believe indictments connected with Trump's schemes to steal the 2020 election he lost from the winner, Joe Biden, could be coming this week. That report comes amid other reports of cable news trucks being camped outside the court house where Special Counsel Jack Smith's grand jury (juries?) are meeting and hearing from witnesses in the January 6 and January 6-related events.
-And all of that as we are now one week away from the beginning of the three-week window Fulton County D.A. Fani Wills has requested for potential indictments to be handed down in the investigation into Trump's attempt to 'find' 11,780 votes to steal GA from Biden. Getting busy out there ...
-Defying months of massive protests on the streets of Israel, the self-described ultra-conservative members of the Knesset voted to strip the Israeli Supreme Court of much of its power - the first in a series of demands protestors believe will allow the architect of the legislation, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, to stay in power despite awaiting trial on bribery and corruption charges. The moves are feared by opponents to shift power towards the more religious-based and authoritarian parties that currently hold a narrow majority in a more-volatile-than-usual Israeli political system.
-Meanwhile, flash elections that were called in Spain by conservative parties hoping to eke out a similar majority failed to do so, as a larger-than-expected socialist turnout leaves that country's government with no side close enough to the 176 seats necessary to take control and a likely tenuous coalition government, whenever a majority is negotiated among the remaining smaller parties. The results are a disappointment to the center-right party that called for the election expecting a small but clear victory over a center-left government that has labored under post-COVID inflation and promises from the conservative side to roll back legal protections for women and the LGBTQI communities. Sounds kinda familiar ...
-In closing, just how big was the BARBIE opening? Its now-estimated $162M opening weekend was the largest opening for a woman-directed movie in history, the largest opening for a movie built around a toy, the largest opening for a movie that was not a superhero movie or part of an ongoing franchise, and combined with OPPENHEIMER ($82.4M) and the other movies out there, the fourth-largest weekend in movie history - and, experts believe, a potential model for future openings, as the two movies worked in semi-tandem with each other and seemed to drive up audiences for both movies. As a bonus, the anti-BARBIE boycott called for by right-wing snowflake commentators cucks failed spectacularly. Womp womp!
-Now if the producers could just spread that wealth to the writers and actors ...
-On this date in 1847, Mormons arrived in Salt Lake City, UT. On this date in 1915, the passenger ship SS Eastland capsized in the Chicago River, killing more than 840 on board. On this date in 1959, an American trade show in Moscow became the setting for "the kitchen debate" between Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev and Vice President Richard Nixon. On this date in 1969, Apollo 11 ended with all three astronauts returning to Earth after its successful mission of landing humans on the moon. On this date in 1974, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled Nixon had to provide full transcripts of his secret recordings to Watergate special prosecutor Leon Jaworski. And on this date in 1998, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN opened nationally.
-Happy Birthday to Simon Bolivar, Alexandre Dumas, Robert Graves, Amelia Earhart, Chief Dan George, Zelda Fitzgerald, Peter Yates, Pat Oliphant, Ruth Buzzi, Dan Hedaya, Chris Sarandon, Robert Hays, Marvin the Martian, Michael Richards, Lynda Carter, Gus Van Sant, Vin Weber, Claire McCaskill, Jon Faddis, Steve Grogan, Charles Crist, Kevin Butler, Julie Krone, Karl Malone, Kadeem Hardison, Nick Nurse, Kristin Chenoweth, Jennifer Lopez, Rick Fox, and Rashida Tlaib.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Martin Van Buren, Mary Church Terrell, Peter Sellers, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Justice William J. Brennan, Cotton Fitzsimmons, Chad Everett, Sherman Hemsley, Regis Philbin, Jackie Mason, and David Warner.
-Feed the Worms: Gang leader turned Martin Scorsese anti-hero Bill the Butcher and steroid freak Barry Bonds entered Earth on this date. Spree killer Andrew Cunanan offed himself on this date.
-Watermelon-abusing semi-comic Gallagher was born on this date. You decide if he gets a Happy Birthday or if he Feeds the Worms.
-Speaking of the top movies on this date, we know what it is today, but the number one movie in America on this date in 2013 was THE CONJURING ... in 2003, SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER ... in 1993, POETIC JUSTICE ... in 1983, JAWS 3-D ... and in 1973, LIVE AND LET DIE.