NATIONAL CLEAN YOUR ROOM DAY UPDATES
And Don't Just Shove Everything Into The Closet - EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE!
-We lead today with foreign affairs news ...
-If the adage of making a decision that angers all sides is proof it is a good decision, then President Biden has made such a decision regarding the Israel/HAMAS War. That decision was a warning to Israeli leadership: invade the Palestinian town of Rafah and lose military support from the United States - at least in the form of weaponry that would be used for such an invasion. Biden's warning has been denounced by many of Benjamin Netanyahu's most fervent supporters as an abandonment of Israel (with Bibi himself boasting that Israel will "stand alone" if need be), TrumPublican Party members now calling Biden a HAMAS sympathizer, many protestors and pro-Palestinian advocates calling the move too little too late, and Ex-President Trump (R-apist) LXXXVIII essentially calling any Jewish Democrat who will still support Biden as being a bad Jew (since, y'know, Trump knows Jews better than Jews in Trump's mind). But what is undeniable is that a full invasion of Rafah has not yet happened, and negotiations to try to find a cease-fire have not broken down, so for the moment, the Biden warning seems to have had at least some effect.
-While there has yet to be an invasion of Rafah, the same apparently cannot be said of Ukraine, where reports from Ukrainian news sites claim an attempted tank invasion of northeastern Ukraine by Russian forces has been repelled. The attacks come after another series of Russian missile attacks continue to focus on the power grid in Ukraine, and are coming as newly-approved military aid from the United States is just getting to the front lines of the battle. These come after arrests were made that reportedly ended a conspiracy to assassinate President Zelenskyy, who remains the leader and new stories rumbling of a summer counteroffensive by newly-rejuvenated and restocked forces aimed to try to give Vladimir Putin a final decisive military loss.
-SLAVA UKRAINI!
-Back to the U.S. and the courts, where there is a breather in New York after the testimony of Stormy Daniels, who destroyed Trump's claim that he and Daniels never had an affair. Daniels' testimony verified that insofar as whatever sexual contact occurred was brief, crass, and just as unpleasant as one could imagine - with all but the most fervent Fox commentators (Greg Jarrett and Jeanne "Box o'Wine" Pirro) admitting that Team Trump's cross-examination - which tried to fuse tried-and-true-and-ugly strategies of slut-shaming, gold-digging, inconsistent microdetails (insert Trump junk joke here) and brow-beating by a female attorney - only managed to make Daniels' claims seem truer, and Daniels herself credible and likeable. The prosecution agreed, announcing they would not call former Trump mistress Karen McDougal to the stand and instead pivot to the true potential star witness of the case: former Trump attorney Michael Cohen, who reports say will take the stand Monday and likely be on the stand for the whole week.
-Oh, and Team Trump attempted to again have the case declared a mistrial (DENIED) and to have his gag order lifted specifically to attack Daniels (DENIED).
-So with the voter suppression trial not going well, Trump pivoted to his campaign to pardon himself which has been ineffectually disguised as a Presidential campaign. Trump, in desperate need of more money to continue paying lawyers to delay his cases long enough to ooze his way back into the White House, held a meeting with leaders of the oil industry - and according to reports, made them an offer: raise (use Dr. Evil voice) one BILL-ION DOLLARS for the Trump campaign, and have all those darn environmental rules lifted in order to drill, baby, drill to your heart's content and a new ban on electric vehicles in the U.S. (never mind that new report that says it is inevitable the world's temperature is about to go up 2.5 degrees Celsius by the end of this decade triggering massive coastal erosion and violent storms - pshaw!). Whether Big Oil will take that offer remains to be seen - but Trump does need that cash, so we shall see ...
-At least Trump may have the support of one of what appears to be the newest member of the Republican Party of the state of Florida: Barron Trump! Yes, the now 18-year-old son of Melania and, at least it is believed, Trump (though Internet wags that note a scary likeness of Barron to Canadian Prime Minister heartthrob Justin Trudeau are surely just promoting an Internet fake story) (or ARE THEY?!?!), has been appointed as an at-large delegate for the FL TrumPublican delegation for this July's Trump Coronation ceremony in Milwaukee, WI (where new polling has Trump trailing Biden 50%-44% in a must-win state for Trump). Party "rules" claim family members of a candidate are prevented from voting for fellow clan members, but given that the TrumPublicans are becoming a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Trump Organization (led by Trump failson-wife Lara Trump), expect the new rule of All Hail Dear Leader Trump to prevail.
-Also, while Barron is now of age and could be as mercilessly mocked with his apparent decision to join the political fray as his half-siblings, it should be noted that there have also been unconfirmed stories that Barron may be on the autism spectrum, and that there is always the possibility of manipulation from "Daddy," who in an interview yesterday said Barron was 17 when in fact he was 18 - not to mention that New York City trial where the kid is finding out exactly what "Daddy" was doing while he was four months old (while Ivanka and The Failsons jumped into the political fray of their own sad volitions) - so, take care is all this Substack is saying.
- FreedomWorks announced yesterday that it was being shut down, effective immediately. The organization was formed in 2004 with funding from mega-evil Charles Koch and became a pre-eminent funder and power broker by creating the phony grass-roots Tea Party Movement, which helped usher in a wave of ultra-right radicals under the veneer of economic populism during the Obama Administration, particularly in state legislatures that became incubators for such GOP 'leaders' as Ted Cruz (R-Cancun, TX) and Rand Paul (R-AquaBuddah, KY). But, like so many other things on the GOP side, the rise of Trump led to schisms and accusations of FreedomWorks not being renamed TrumpWorks! or bending their knees and hips to Trump, so hasta la vista FreedomWorks - and please let the door hit you in the ass so hard you fall over and break everything in the box you were carrying out to the car in the process.
-THIS JUST IN: A federal appeals court has upheld the contempt of Congress conviction of Steve "If Gout Had Gout" Bannon. The ruling likely means Bannon's insurrectionist podcast may finally be interrupted by serving the four-month prison sentence that was held until the appeal was completed.
-We end with media news, to be filed under the categories of "Why?", "Who Asked?", and "Who the Hell is Going to Listen To THAT?!" It was announced that another political podcast will be premiering soon with one of those oh-those-opposites-are-gonna-be-SO-entertaining! concepts, with one side being former Obama strategist David Plouffe, and the other being unabashed unpleasant lying-liar-who-lies Trumpette Kellyanne "Alternative Facts" Conway. Why? Checks, apparently. Who asked? Did you - I didn't!. Who the Hell is going to listen to THAT?! I'm guessing nobody reading this - especially because (SHAMELESS PLUG) a far more amusing and fun podcast about politics with comedy is available - DB COMEDY PRESENTS THE ELECTABLES!
-Here is a link to an episode referred to in today’s On This Date in History - but there are over 60 to enjoy, so PLEASE DO!
-THIS HAS BEEN A SHAMELESS PLUG!
-On, and don't forget that Mother's Day gift, people!!
-On this date in 1869, the last rail creating the Transcontinental Railway was laid in Promontory, UT. On this date in 1940, Germany invaded Belgium, Luxembourg, and The Netherlands. Also on this date in 1940, Winston Churchill replaced Neville Chamberlain as British Prime Minister. On this date in 1963, Decca Records took the recommendation of George Harrison and signed the Rolling Stones to the label. On this date in 1980, a federal bailout of Chrysler Motors was approved. On this date in 1994, Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as President of South Africa.
-Debuts on this date: The Tea Act (1773), the first female Presidential nominee (Victoria Woodhull, 1872), J. Edgar Hoover as FBI Director (1924), BEYOND THE FRINGE (1961), THE INCREDIBLE HULK (1962).
-Happy Birthday to Fred Astaire, David O. Selznick, Maybelle Carter, Milton Babbitt, Dr. T. Barry Brazelton, Nancy Walker, Pat Summerall, Gary Owens, Arthur Kopit, Taurean Blacque, Judith Jamison, Dave Mason, Donovan, Sly Dunbar, Tito Santana, Chris Berman, Steve Mahre, Bono, Danny Carey, Suzan-Lori Parks, Linda Evangelista, Young MC, Helio Castroneves, Kenan Thompson, and The Gosselin Sextuplets.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Paul Revere, Henry Morton Stanley, Joan Crawford, Woody Shaw, Shel Silverstein, A.M. Rosenthal, Carroll Shelby, Norman Lloyd, and Bob Lanier.
-Feed the Worms: John Wilkes Booth, Mark David Chapman and Rick "Santorum" Santorum (be careful looking up what the quotes mean!) entered Earth on this date. Stonewall Jackson and John Wayne Gacy bought it on this date.
-Wayne Dyer and Sid Vicious were born on this date. You decide if they get Happy Birthdays or if they Feed the Worms.