NATIONAL CHIP AND DIP DAY UPDATES
You Can Have Your Dip-Flavored Chips, This Substacker Wants to Take the Chip and Insert it Into The Dip - as God Intended
-That the actions of the elected head of this regime are fueled primarily by a warped sense of vengeance is something we kind of understand, but every so often a detail emerges that highlights just how honed that sense is - if not for Donald Trump, for those surrounding him. Such a detail emerged after the administration extracted a series of humiliating and seemingly randomized "punishments" (including, most disturbingly, almost hands-on management of courses to ensure no students get any perceived 'advantage' for MAGA's hated "DEI" initiatives) for New York's Columbia University.
-The school capitulated took those actions after initially being singled out for last spring's protest against Israel's incursion into Gaza and the arrest of Columbia student activist Mahmoud Khalil, and being warned that taking actions to stop further student unrest could jeopardize $400 million in federal grants to the school. That number piqued some reporters at the New York Times, who dug into their archives and dusted off stories about a real estate project Trump pursued in the 1990s that was to involve Columbia selling property to Trump for some sort of development - property that Columbia ultimately chose not to sell to Trump.
-If you notice this paragraph break and are good at connecting dots, you will realize that the value of the property Trump looked at that Columbia chose not to sell to Trump totaled ... oh, you know by now ... around $400 million dollars, congratulations - you now can see one of the primary modus operandi of this regime in its full and all-for-symbolic-show-and-taunting infamy.
-That obese mantit-for-tat carries through to another area of Trump regime attacks, major law firms whose practices are build around federal cases and activity. Many legal experts were aghast late last week after the powerful firm of Paul, Weiss acted on one of Trump's royal proclamations executive orders attacking the firm for once employing Trump prosector Mark Pomerantz (and removing their security clearances) by not only "admitting wrongdoing" on Pomerantz' part (no such thing happened - Pomerantz simply did his job), but to also arrange to give Trump (or the Trump White House?) $40 million in pro bono legal services and, of COURSE, to give MAGA more spank bank material by ending DEI programs at the firm. Paul, Weiss has come under withering criticism ("Well ain't this some shit" started a story on it by the Above the Law newsletter), and the incident is an example of Team Trump executing their bully tactics to maximum effect in the DC law community.
-But sometimes the bluster is truly just bluster - and absurd bluster at that. One of Trump's go-to moves is to ban people he thinks did him wrong (that is, more or less everyone in DC) from getting various classified briefings, which besides all the cases against him undoubtedly stems from Trump's theft of classified documents - ALLEGEDLY (eyeroll). But in his latest wave, at least two of the people he believes to have punished with the bans - former GOP Congressman and January 6 Committee member Adam Kinzinger and Attorney Mark Zaid - pointed out that they had not had security clearances for at least one year. Zaid pridefully noted that Trump had ended his clearances three times already, asking "Is this like a Beatlejuice thing?" (We certainly hope not since that could involve Lauren Boebert in all sorts of untoward ways ...).
-Then again, another note may make one wonder just how much Trump is aware of ... well, anything. After being witnessed signing the order to deport immigrants by invoking the 1798 Alien Enemies Act, Trump was asked about it as reports of a number of those who were taken to an El Salvadoran prison on claims they were members of a Venezuelan street gang were likely not, Trump stopped and inisted that "I don't know when it was signed, because I didn't sign it. Other people handled it." While it is clear others are administering it (among them Secretary of State Rubio, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, and most likely Associate Chief of Staff Stephen Miller), there is no question Trump signed the order. Whether this was one of Trump's believe-me-not-your-eyes things or something deeper will again be seen as the court cases continue to be fought.
-As big as these fights have been and as the Trump resistance-is-futile strategy attempts to be played out, it should be pointed out that he is losing various cases that ARE having the impact of slowing and (in some cases) reversing the Project 2025 portion of the agenda. Bloomberg Law noted that four Federal court rulings last week are forcing Trump to reinstate workers in at least 18 different federal agencies Trump - or to be clearer, Acting Administrative President-ish Elon Musk and his Gaggle of Coding Dweebs - are working to delete and hamstring. Those rulings do not count other cases filed by at least 19 State Attorneys General on other firings and cancellations to stem and slow the Heritage Foundation the White House's cuts.
-One big organization to focus on with these actions in the weeks to come: Social Security. Already in need of more workers, Trump and Commerce Trump butt remora Commerce Secretary Howard "Is This The Most Punch-Me-In-The-Face-Face In This Regime? MOVE OVER, JD Vance!" Lutnick are trying to force seniors to enroll in and ask questions of Social Security in person rather than (already multi-hour wait time) phone calls, gumming up the system to the point of potentially making the entire system inoperable, and possibly miss issuing checks - which would be the first in its history and make the entire system vulnerable to all sorts of credit crashes and unrest.
-Lutnick is already sliming by claiming in an interview the only people who would dare call Social Security about missing payments "fraudsters," and Trump continues with the utter lie that 150-year-old people are receiving Social Security checks as an excuse to put to the ultimate test the belief that any attack on Social Security would mean the end of whatever political party dared try to do it - the "third rail" of American politics.
-That rail's awfully sparkly, Lutnick ... maybe you and Trump and Apartheid Boy and the codesters would like to take a little walk by it and jump and sing and dance and play with water around it ... it will get a lot more sparkly if you do ... pretty sparklers ...
-Who knows? Maybe those guys will go after Social Security so hard it will make Chuck Schumer wake up! In the wake of his capitulation to Trump and subsequent hurricane hailstorm of demands for him to resign, Schumer tried to repair his message on Friday by claiming to finally believe for the first time that the United States is in a Constitutional crisis, and to promise still-infuriated Democrats that he really will work to make Trump "the quickest lame duck in modern history" - but when pressed on what he is doing NOW to make that happen, Schumer again deferred by first talking about what the Supreme Court may do in various court settings, then by talking about the 2026 midterm elections, then finally insisting he was not going to step down as Senate Minority Leader amid the fury.
-We will see how long Schumer is going to try to hold to that. On the House side, Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries heard earfuls from Democratic fundraisers at a meeting in Los Angeles, being told that said donors will hold their transfers to the party unless and until Democrats get louder and more obstructive to slow Trump down and come up with some kind of unified anti-Democratic message. With the STOP OLIGARCHY tour of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders and Red State town hall tour of Vice Presidential nominee Tim Walz starting to approach crowd levels and enthusiasm starting to approach the hallowed levels of 2008, not to mention continued building national protests at Tesla dealers and elsewhere (but not college campuses ... HMMMMMMMMM ...), that energy is hoped to result in the Democrats not only noticing where their grass roots are, but to respect them and harness them rather than shushing them.
-We have come to Petty Atrocities time, and for today's edition we will focus on the current Punch-Him-In-The-Face-Face King of the Trump Regime, Administrative Intern and Formal Vice President JD Vance - whose face is so punchable it is now being superimposed on all kinds of memes that make most viewers think, "GOD I want to punch that guy in the face!" And guess what? YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
As both the person on the top of the ballot and their acting leader both rigtfully suffer from atrocious approval numbers, neither of them seem to be as uniquely disliked as Veep Butthair (that name comes from the still-indispensable Wonkette, by the way). Real Clear Polling dropped a poll on Thursday with the news that, at 44.8%, Vance is the lowest-rated and least-liked Vice President in modern history - lower than predecessor Kamala Harris, and even low among Repubicans.
-And that may have been why, on Thursday, Butthair went on some rando MAGA podcaster named Vince Coglianese (never heard of him) and insisted? Joked? Revealed? that he was a better Veep than Kamala because "I don't have, you know, four shots of vodka before every meeting. That's one way, I think, that Kamala really tried to bring herself into the role ... I think that I would need the help of a lot of alcohol to answer a question the way that Kamala Harris answered," Vance wetfarted - apparently wholly ignorant of both the word salads of his ostensible boss or the ALLEGED (eyeroll) liquid habits of the Secretary of Defense.
-Maybe he should try to buy a nice suit ...
-THIS JUST IN: New Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announces new Canadians will take place on April 28. Carney replaced Justin Trudeau as both Canadian Prime Minister and head of Canada's Liberal Party - a party that was headed for an electoral wipeout until Donald Trump's "51st State" nonsense put an anchor on Canadian Trump wannabe Pierre Poilievre. Polling now indicates it is Poilievere's Conservative Party that is likely to be devasted, as Canadians are now "Elbows Up!" (a hockey reference to being ready to check someone high if need be - and a reference that has become a battle cry thanks to Canadian favorite son Mike Myers using it at the end of a recent SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE episode where he is playing Elon Musk) and ready to defend itself from Trumpist bullying.
-As the day cranks up, there must be rain where Trump would normally golf (and over a quarter of his Presidency has been on the golf course - good to know as Trump demands whatever Federal workers are left go to the office to work), as he is busy on social media plugging the Trump bitcoin (watch that market for possible pump-and-dump action) and news reports that the White House is seeking a corporate sponsor for the annual Easter Egg Roll, because nothing says delight like the President pocketing cash for what is supposed to be a lighthearted celebration of Spring. One hopes E won't sponsor it so we don't have to worry about exploding eggs no matter what their cost ... keep tending to your NCAA brackets (only one number 2 seed has lost in both Mens' and Womens' brackets heading into the Rounds of 32) ... find and take joy, as joy is an act of resistance Team Trump can't stand (as they are incapable of feeling true joy), and perhaps some of these fun facts about the day will help you!
-ON TO THE DAY'S TRIVIA!
-NEWS ON THIS DATE: In 1490, the first Torah was printed. In 1775, Patrick Henry declared "Give me liberty or give me death!" In 1933, the Enabling Act was passed, completing the transfer of Germany to rule by the Nazis. In 1973, U.S. immigration ordered John Lennon to leave the United States - an order that ended in 1976 with Lennon receiving his Green Card. In 1978, A&M Records signed The Police. In 2021, a freighter ran aground in the Suez Canal, resulting in a six-day blockage of the vital trade artery.
-DEBUTS ON THIS DAY: Handel's Messiah (1743), the word or phrase (depnding on your point of view) "OK!" (1837), the elevator (1857), "Yes, We Have No Bananas" (1923), TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES (1940), the Strategic Defense Initiative, aka "Star Wars" (1983), the Affordable Care Act (2010),
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Fannie Farmer, Erich Fromm, Joan Crawford, Akira Kurosawa, Marty Allen, Ugo Tognazzi, Roger Bannister, Dave Frishberg, Christopher Glenn, Maynard Jackson, Ric Ocasek, Chaka Khan, Geno Auriemma, Moses Malone, ,Laura Thorne, Amanda Plummer, Catherine Keener, Abe Laboriel, Karen McDougal, Jason Kidd, Keri Russell, Michelle Monaghan, Perez Hilton, and Kyrie Irving.
-REST IN PEACE/POWER: Peter Lorre, Del Lord, Barney Clark, Rene Enriquez, Dominic Bellissimo, Tim Crews, David McTaggert, Desmond Doss, Elizabeth Taylor, Joe Garagiola, Ken Howard, DuShon Monique Brown, George Segal, Madeline Albright, and Peter Angelos.
- Wehrner von Braun was born on this date. You decide if he gets a Happy Birthday or if he Feeds the Worms.
-TODAY IN THE CULTURE: The Number One Song in America On This Date ... in 2025, "Luther" by Kendrick Lamar & SZA ... in 2015, "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars ... in 2005, "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent featuring Olivia ... in 1995, "Take a Bow" by Madonna ... in 1985, "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon ... and in 1975, "My Eyes Adored You" by Frankie Valli.
-YOUR MUSICAL INTERLUDE: Happy Birthday to The Absolute Winner of the Oasis/Blur feud, Blur and Gorillaz front man and mastermind Damon Albarn!