MATH 2.0 DAY UPDATES

Don't Ask Me - I Was an English Major for a Reason ...

-Hey, readers, do you remember a guy named Jeffrey Epstein? Mysterious, rich, knew everybody, was such a bestie with Donald Trump that for over 20 years they never lived more than a ten-minute drive or cab ride from each other in Florida AND New York City - and was the world's most-well known pedophile at the time of his arrest and frustrating and mysterious death during the first Trump term?

-And, do you remember that when Trump ran for President again that he promised, even though rumors and court documents and sworn testimony at the trial of Epstein's aide/enabler/lover/girl procurer Ghislaine Maxwell that Trump was a frequent if not regular guest at many of Epstein's domiciles and that a list of all the famous people that also visited Epstein during those years existed that had ALL of Epstein's client names - and that Trump promised upon a Bible where one of his wee tiny hands were placed, that he would release that list to the public?

-AND, do you remember that when she was sworn in as U.S., Attorney General, Pam Bondi - who as Florida's Attorney General presided when records connected to a 2008 arrest of Epstein that led to Epstein "serving time" in an unlocked Miami jail cell where he freely left and continued his child sex trafficking and shrugged about it at the time, insisted earlier this year that she had the aforementioned Epstein list "on my desk" as part of vetting the documentation in order to release the files to the republic, and was being helped in her 'vetting' by FBI Director Ka$h Patel and Deputy FBI Director Dan "BingBongBoing" Bongino?

-Do you remember all or any of that????

-Good, because FUNNY STORY yesterday: in a joint statement sent out by Bondi, Patel and Bongholio, they published a shrug emoji and said PSYCH - there is NO Epstein list of clients to release, so so so so sorry!

-As outraged as you may be about what sure as shootin' seems like one big giant cover-up and scrubbing of those files to cover up for SOMEBODY being on the list - GEE I WONDER WHO THEY COULD BE COVERING UP FOR?!?!?!!?! - MAGA is losing their SHITE over the files not being released! They are so angry that Fox News reporter Steve Doocy actually committed an act of journalism yesterday by putting Trump Spokesliar Katherine Leavitt's gaudy cross necklace to the fire and demanded to know what the Hell was going on about this!

-Now, naturally, what Doocy and some in Fox and a ton of MAGA media yappers are angry about is that they won't see who else is on the Epstein list, even though many celebrities and financiers and, yes, Democrats, are on that list, and thus being deprived of their lifeblood of OWNING DA LIBZ for a hot minute is getting them close to stroking out. But what is hysterically pathetic is that at the same time, they rend their garments and demand to know why - Why - WHYYYYYYY won't the TRUMP administration release the Epstein files? What would TRUMP not want us to know about that list? WHY not, TRUMP???

-So many of them are almost there, but the frustration and the wedges being planted and split farther should be relished, because while we know Congressional MAGAts are a pack of merch-wearing lemmings, many in the White House inner circle are looking for angles that play them against others within MAGA that are planting seeds to sprout and divide them when the day comes.

-Until then, those gaps are also creating massive questions about who is running things in the White House, since one glance at the badly-made-up display of senility in full degradation makes it clear it ain't Trump.

-Witness Ukraine, where last week the U.S. stopped shipments of previously-purchased weapons and weapons systems to that country at a time when the Russian invaders unleashed the biggest drone strikes in months against civilian centers in Ukraine (because that's what Russia and Vladimir Putin does) and the Russian offensive predictably stalled, giving a window for Ukraine to create leverage against the invaders. That block, it was discovered, was instigated by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who shook off the imaginary crabs and spiders that crawl all over him (SATIRE) (NOT REAL) to put the block on shipments without explanation.

-Yesterday, at a dinner in the White House featuring Israeli should-be-in-jail Benjamin Netanyahu (in which Bibi buttered Trump's rancid flaccid biscuits by presenting a letter Bibi sent to the United Nations nominating Dear Leader for a Nobel Peace Prize (that's the 2026 prize - nominations closed in January for this year's)), Trump announcegroped that no, the U.S. would be sending those systems to Ukraine after all, pretty soon, because Trump cannot make his international BFF Vladdie Pootie-Poo to stop the bombing, and in one of his newest slurcackles, talked about the continued deaths of Ukrainians because of an inability to leverage the sides (meaning Russia) to cease-fire talks with what he seems to think is his new catch phrase, "EYE DUN LIE-KIT!!"

-It is believed, by the way, that Trump is not releasing the weapons to Ukraine because Ukraine really is suffering from the new Russian bombardments, but rather being personally torqued about Putin not listening to him, as the Trump Bubble and Trump Brain-With-The-Texture-Of-A-Bubble believes he has secured a nuclear-free Iran (comparing the by-all-rational-reporting failed bombing missions to the dropping of nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, b/c Trump does not understand irony and is truly one of the dumbest people alive and was BEFORE the newest mental declines), and there is no timetable for the weapons to be sent or if Hegseth can stagger to Trump's ear and whisper in it before keeling over in a day drink stupor (ALLEGEDLY) (Eye Roll), but we can hope the right thing is done again in the short term.

-SLAVA UKRAINI!

-I will use the mention of the Bibi letter to the Nobel Peace Prize committee, shake off the nausea, and use that to segueway to a new item involving letters - only these were letters sent by Trump. Badly-written, error-filled, virtual form letters sent to 14 known countries about the Trump Tariffs! Yeah, after apparently forgetting them, remembering the TACO nickname that Trump seethes at, and fresh off the high of signing the Big Bill O'Crap on the 4th of July and wanting to continue to feel like he is a True Big Strongman Leader GRRR!, he is marking the 90-day deadline of his first "deadline" to have every country on Earth be honored by letting Dear Leader shart in their faces cut a deal with Trump or be faced with tariffs that will overwhelmingly hurt the U.S. economy as it already has.

-The letters that were sent were sent to some previously unharassed countries who have a huge numbers of products in the American marketplaces - Bangladesh, Japan, Malaysia, and South Korea (super-easy to notice what those countries have in common, ain't it?) - and the levies were the same as listed in the infamous April press event of 25%-40% or more, with a further announcement that the White House is essentially yadda yadda-ing the letter to all the other countries it threatened last Spring. Trump also gave a new deadline of August 1 to respond, so until proven otherwise, the belief may be that Yakitori and kimchi TACOs are soon to be served.

-On to more serious updates, where the death toll from the flash floods in Texas have went over 100, making this the worst flash flood death toll since 1976. Rescue efforts continue as does the spinning, with Homeland Security Hairpile Kristi Noem telling a press conference thanking "God's hand" for saving "hundreds of hundreds of people," thereby implying that God wanted those other 100+ people to drown thanks to Texas state neglect and White House firings of weather service personnel that delayed and muted warnings. Trump, for his part, expressed his deep concern for a state that voted for him three times by double-digits by playing golf all weekend, at one point being photographed licking a vanilla ice cream cone like it might be poisoned but eating it all on the course.

-There are legal developments in the Kilmar Abrego Garcia case, as his attorneys fighting to keep him from being deported again released an interview submitted as evidence that described Garcia being tortured at the hands of guards in El Salvador's notorious CECOT prison, including (TRIGGER ALERT) being forced to kneel on a concrete floor from 9 pm to 6 am, being woken by guards if he dozed off while in a kneeling position, and being threatened to be released into the general population and exposed to intra-prison gang violence. Further, another legal briefing reported on by several reporters including Chris Geidner, that officials in El Salvador told Trump any prisoners sent to CECOT were sent there under "the jurisdiction and legal responsibility" of the U.S. "exclusively" - a direct contradiction with previous White House claims it had no idea what was happening in the CECOT facility or that they had any responsibility for Garcia or anyone sent there by the U.S.. One to watch ...

-If we mention Trump and immigrants, it brings us to what Trump - or more specifically, Noem and Stephen Miller and Tom Homan - did to try to assert itself thanks to the massive cash influx approved for ICE by the MAGA Congress in the Big Bill O'Crap. Yesterday in Los Angeles, a phalanx of ICE agents in full tactical gear - and including one armored vehicle and another agent riding a horse - invaded MacArthur Park, which is not just the name of one of the longest songs ever on the Billboard Hot 100, but an actual park located near the USC campus in Los Angeles.

-The "invasion" was deliberate. It was created on more-or-less direct orders from Miller, and it had both a stupid name - Operation Excalibur - and a psy-ops purpose: to make Angelinos stop protesting ICE agents, stop throwing fruit at them (as that is being termed "assault" by Homeland Security spokesdrones and MAGAt publicity whores), and convey the Totally Alpha Male Badass Mucho Macho Symbol of STRENGTH! against whoever was in that park.

-Luckily, word got out that ICE was coming, so as the 'invasion' took place (and was taped with embedded Fox News reporters) on a mostly empty park, with the only people the force 'terrorized' being a group of soccer players and facilitators for groups that work with homeless people that congregate in the park. The force was also countered by angry but peaceful neighborhood citizens and Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass, who got those who invaded the park to flee back to their trucks, where other ICE agents waited but could not leave because there was nothing to do for them and Fox cameras deemed them unnecessary.

-The 'invasion' was deemed a flop by no less a figure than Miller, who reportedly chewed out ICE (if by "chewed out" you mean "hearing a sniveling racist screech like an obstructed seagull at you") for not acting more macho (GRRR!), then having spokesthroats threaten Mayor Bass with arrest for apparently shaming these rent-an-Army gangsters. The only thing that may have come out of it was B-roll to help Scott Baio produce his next Fox Nation series, Paul Blart: ICE Agent.

-But in all seriousness, the entire dumb show is an indication that ICE cannot wait to use all its money and all the toys it will be able to buy with it to invade hundreds of parks to try to cow immigrants and others to hand them power the way Congressional MAGAts gave theirs to Trump (as so-on-the-nose-it's-ridiculous handing of the Speaker gavel to Trump by his personal eunuch, 'Speaker' Mike Johnson) - though what kind of training (if any) they will be given to do their jobs, the companies that will be hired to "train" whoever gets hired and give them ordinance and weapons, the inevitable graft and corruption that will follow these billions, and hope by Trump that people will believe resistance is futile vs. an ultimate test of the nonviolent 3.5% of the population (13 million, more or less) who will resist the tyranny of our would-be dictator and get him and the rest of them out of power.

-DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS UPDATE: In the previous Update, reference was made to “Medicare cuts” approaching $1 billion in the now-signed Big Bill O’Crap, Copyright 2025 Donald Trump, MAGA, and Republican Party. That figure is actually referrring to Medicaid cuts and not Medicare cuts - although, in other provisions of the BBOC, Medicare may also potentially see a $500 billion benefit cut. But the primary area of cuts are with Medicaid, not Medicare. Management regrets the error.

-We will finish today's Update with Godspeed in retirement to Matt Cameron, one of the great drummers of the 1990s. Cameron moved from Soundgarden and some of their greatest songs ("Black Hole Sun," anyone?) to playing for the last 27 years with Pearl Jam as they evolved from the bedrock of all grunge bands to one of the most productive bands in all of rock, becoming road warriors of the greatest kind. If you never have, do yourself a favor and go online to find all the cover versions Eddie Vedder and the band have created, and you will find much joy!

-It does, however, point to a year in which rock drummers have been moving in and out of bands at a rather rapid rate. In addition to Cameron, Josh Freese was fired from his gig with the Foo Fighters, founding member Tim "Herb" Alexander left Primus, Jason Bonham left Sammy Hagar's touring band (replaced by drumming legend Kenny Aronoff), and perhaps most notoriously, Ringo Starr's son Zak Starkey was fired, rehired, and refired in a two-week period by Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend as they prepare another "final" tour as The Who (who, let's be honest, haven't been The Who since the death of Keith Moon in 1978). To think none of them played for Spinal Tap ...

-OK, let's get to the date's news!

-NEWS ON THIS DATE: In 1497, Vasco da Gama sailed to India via the Cape of Good Hope, opening the continents to trade and conquest. In 1918, Ernest Hemingway was injured while driving an ambulance in Italy during World War I - a formative moment in his life and, ultimately, his writing. In 1950, Douglas MacArthur was appointed Commander of U.N. forces in the Korean War. (It did not end well for him.) In 2011, the final Space Shuttle mission launched.

-DEBUTS ON THIS DATE: The Wall Street Journal (1889), William Jennings Bryan's "Cross of Gold" speech (1896), reports of a flying saucer near Roswsell, NM (1947), a gold record (for the OKLAHOMA! soundtrack, 1958), American deaths in South Vietnam (1959), COSMO'S FACTORY (1970), INCEPTION (2010).

-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: John Pemberton, Ferdinand von Zeppelin, Philip Johnson, Louis Jordan, Walter Kerr, Harrison Dillard, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, John Dingell, Jery Vale, Roone Arledge, Marty Feldman, Faye Wattleton, Kim Darby, Raffi, Wolfgang Puck, Anjelica Huston, Kevin Bacon, Andy Fletcher, Joan Osborne, Rob Burnett, Billy Crudup, Beck, Milo Ventimiglia, Virgil van Dijk, David Corenswet, Son Heung-min, Jaden Smith, and Maya Hawke.

-REST IN PEACE/POWER: Percy Bysshe Shelley, Vivien Leigh, Howard Duff, James Franciscus, Dick Sargent, Pete Conrad, Ward Kimball, June Allyson, Betty Ford, Ernest Borgnine, Ken Stabler, Tab Hunter, Shinzo Abe, and Tony Sirico.

-FEED THE WORMS: Monopolist extraordinaire John D. Rockefeller, Nazi-loving fashion designer Hugo Boss, W Bush-era Texas Senator Phil Gramm, awful evil terrible no-good Pittsburgh Steeler Jack Lambert, bothsiding "spiritualist" Marianne Williamson, and AMURIKA-spewing country music boob Toby Keith entered Earth on this date. Kim Il-sung bought it on this date.

-George W. Romney, Nelson Rockefeller and Jeffrey Tambor were born on this date. You decide if they get Happy Birthdays or if they Feed the Worms.

-TODAY'S MUSIC BREAK: Released in the United Kingdom on this date in 1996 - the beginning of their world domination ...