INTERNET SELF-CARE DAY UPDATES
Finish Reading Today's Update, Then Take a Walk in a Park!
-Trying to sum up yesterday's Democratic Convention is rather easy to do this morning because the highlights are SO numerous one can't go wrong randomly picking out a few highlights. There was IL Governor JB Pritzker "speaking (as) a REAL billionaire," the raucous roll call of states accompanied by a playlist ranging from Journey and John Denver to Portugal. The Man and Chappell Roan, GA using former CELEBRITY APPRENTICE contestant Lil John to bring down the house, the embarrassed-yet-starstruck description of Doug Emhoff's first phone mail message to who would become his wife, Barack Obama making a Trump accordion/penis size visual joke that would make his anger translator Luther proud, and especially Michelle Obama with a speech already being held up to her husband's 2004 speech as an all-time best as she did not go high, instead ripping Trump with a line-of-the-Convention nominee: "Who's going to tell (Republican nominee Old Weird Convicted Felon Ex-President Trump (R-apist) that the job he is currently seeking might just be one of those "Black jobs"?!".
-Kamala Harris is the nominee, and while the 23,500 in the United Center cheered the results of the roll call, Harris expressed her thanks in the middle of another crowd of 15,000 in Milwaukee - in the same arena where Trump dozed off before blathering about the assassination attempt while wearing his ear Tampax just a month before. That's nearly 40,000 people in two Midwestern venues bursting at the seams for the Democratic candidate.
-As for Trump, he dragged his rear end to Howell, MI - a town most well known for being "the capital of the Ku Klux Klan" - to speak in front of a crowd of what appeared to be used cars about his vision of an America overrun with crime and murder - so dangerous "you can't cross the street," he said in a voice indicating yet another struggle to stay awake. Amid momentum that is solidly moving against him and a campaign still hunting for some kind of angle to attack Harris on, Trump will continue to make appearances as the world awaits how he will respond to the incessant mocking of everything from his boring rhetoric to his shrinking ... crowds ...
-So where can Trump find momentum? One place may be elsewhere on the ballot, where yesterday Nicole Shanahan, the person supplying most of the funding for the "candidacy" of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., floated the potential for RFK Jr. to "drop out" of the race and endorse Trump in exchange for a theoretical cabinet position in a mythical Trump II administration. Reports indicate Trump would be more than happy to make that transaction, as would RFK, claiming the need to stop Harris took precedent over his ego (stop laughing) - especially as other reports confirm an attempt by Kennedy to cut a similar deal with Harris was rightfully blown off. The move would make the race two-way, which may not be the bump Trump thinks it would be given most polls give Harris a bigger edge in a two-way race.
-Another area Trump may be looking for help in is the Israel-HAMAS War. As the hype for mass protests to stop the DNC in Chicago have flopped spectacularly (as noted by the Washington Post's Dana Milbank and Wonkette's Dominic Gwinn (a former student of mine!)) and reduced to yelling at Nancy Pelosi during Stephen Colbert's show last night, reports indicate cease-fire negotiations have again stalled, this time outwardly over Benjamin Netanyahu reportedly not being willing to move Israeli troops out of Palestine ...
-... but the reason Netanyahu may be jerking the negotiations are around is because of his desire to help Trump. Multiple news reports yesterday confirmed earlier reports that Trump has been in contact with Netanyahu and has been pushing Netanyahu to delay and obstruct any potential cease-fire as a way to prevent Democrats from claiming such an achievement before the election.
-Netanyahu certainly has his own motivations for not cutting a deal (mainly that doing so would likely trigger an election that would oust him and potentially sending him to jail on personal corruption charges) (like countries would do that?!), and with Trump as an ally (and having failstepson Jared Kushner openly dreaming about beachfront luxury development in what is now Gaza), Trump's move echoes Richard Nixon gumming up Vietnam peace talks in 1968 and Reagan cutting a deal with Iran to hold American hostages in that country until he took the oath of office in 1981.
-Tonight, America's Dad Tim Walz will accept the Vice Presidential nomination, and will do so with what is likely going to be a big crowd and shooing away the creepily annoying JD Vance, who has been reduced to trying to complain that Walz and his wife didn't use In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) to conceive their children, but actually used intrauterine insemination, or IUI - and therefore Walz is an untrustworthy piece of crap nobody should believe! Most doctors note that many people mix up IVF and IUI and they are just different methods to achieve the same ends, but Vance needs something, and so does the political press, as Axios now refers to that and other Walz malaprops as making Walz "a gaffe machine." Thus far no attack has stuck and the Harris/Walz campaign has been heavy on the vibes and storytelling, so chances of this becoming a bigger thing seem low so long as Walz or Harris don't trip themselves up.
-In closing today's update, let's take a moment to again see just how far the man many thought of as a super-genius has fallen so quickly. Of course I talk about the original billionaire weirdo, Elon Musk. Yesterday, multiple bid-ness news sources reported that Musk's $44 billion acquisition of the social media site formerly known as Twitter that Bank of America, Morgan Stanley, and other banks who helped Musk finance the deal to the tune of $13 billion in 2022 are now facing not just the near-total loss of that money, but also potentially trying to cut their losses by raiding Musk's holdings in the not-exactly-going-well-either-these-days Tesla. The deal is already being called the worst since the Lehmann Brothers collapse of 2008, and Tesla may also be imperiled as a result. While some of these banks reportedly will continue to work with Musk (because the rich are different), we should still take a moment in someone who believes he is a lord of the universe that turns out to be a two-bit nepo baby dipwad that may still lose his shirt.
-Just not in public, please. We already have one Big Hero 6 ...
-On this date in 1831, Nat Turner attempted to lead a slave rebellion that led to the deaths of 60 and a militia to quell it. On this date in 1858, the first Lincoln/Douglas debate took place. On this date in 1911, the Mona Lisa was stolen out of the Louvre (it would be recovered in 1913). On this date in 1950, Althea Gibson became the first Black professional tennis player. On this date in 1959, Hawaii became the 50th state. And on this date in 1991, the attempt to oust Mikhail Gorbachev by hard-line former Soviet party members collapsed.
-Debuts on this date: the adding machine (1888), Oldsmobile (1897), BAMBI (1942), People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA, 1980), LA CAGE AUX FOLLES (1983), DIRTY DANCING (1987), Latvia (1991), "Dynamite" (2020).
-Happy Birthday to Count Basie, Friz Freleng, Christopher Milne, Chris Schenkel, Jack Buck, Jack Weston, Art Farmer, Melvin Van Peebles, Matt Crowley, Wilt Chamberlain, Kenny Rogers, Clarence Williams III, Jackie DeShannon, Hugh Wilson, Peter Weir, Loretta Devine, Harry Smith, Joe Strummer, Archie Griffin, Jon Tester, Kim Cattrall, Budgie, Kim Sledge, Jim McMahon, Stephen Hillenburg, Carrie-Anne Moss, Serj Tankian, Stephane Charbonnier, Craig Counsell, Steve Everitt, Sergey Brin, Amy Fisher, Paul Menard, Usain Bolt, Kacey Musgraves, Robert Lewandowski, Hayden Panettiere, and Bo Burnham.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Ettore Bugatti, Buford Pusser, Benigno Aquino, Danitra Vance, Wesley Willis, Robert Moog, Sid Bernstein, Thomas Meehan, Barbara Harris, and Don Everly.
-Feed the Worms: gangster Bugs Moran entered Earth on this date. Leon Trotsky got an ice pick in the skull on this date.