INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY UPDATES
Perhaps Ironically, It Also Happens to be National Preschooler's Day ...
-The Republican Party once were masters at playing The Expectation Game with the media - using hype and spin to frame speeches to make their side look great and Democrats fall short. If you need evidence that the 2024 MAGAGOP is really, really bad at The Expectation Game, look no further than last night's State of the Union address, when the MAGAts were ready to bury President Biden as being literally at death's door (a PAC ad running on MSNBC, among other places, all but literally said that), meaning all Biden had to do is basically stay upright and he would win The Expectation Game.
-But, if you saw any bit of last night's speech, Biden not only exceeded that bar, he Simone Biles'd it with a speech that was alternatively fast, funny, furious, and stirring. From the literal start of the speech where Biden excoriated the Putin Caucus for withholding Ukraine aid (SLAVA UKRAINI!) to goading Marjorie Taylor Green (who wore a MAGA hat on the floor in defiance of House rules and got a reaction from Biden like a little girl with a particularly striking Halloween costume hoping for an extra Snickers) into heckling him and then deflecting it like an old pro standup, Biden did what Jon Stewart demanded: showed the world what every Biden aide has said they have seen - an engaged, on-point and super-energetic President on top of all the issues of the day being discussed.
-Reviews were so good that critics and MAGAts who were among those selling the BIDEN B OLD stories needed to pivot to something different - and the best some could come up with (like dipshit Sen. Tommy Tuberville and updo'd handmaiden Rep. Lauren Boebert) is BIDEN B ANGRY! But early polling and off-the-record responses by Republicans (as reported in Politico and Rolling Stone) admitted Biden had a Very Good Night.
-The entire night had a raucous flavor. From the aforementioned Marge to fellow MAGAt Rep. Troy Nehls (who decided to show up wearing a Trump NEVER SURRENDER mug shot of Trump surrendering while also wearing an American flag bow tie like a super-low-rent warped Chippendale wannabe), to a group of Democratic women coming wearing white (the color of suffragettes) and Reps. Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib holding signs demanding an end to the Israel/Palestine conflict (more on that on Sunday), to six of the nine Supreme Court justices getting pilloried live by Biden for their Dobbs decision (Alito, Gorusch and Thomas no-showed), the night was one of the more memorable and lively SOTUs in recent history.
-One person who clearly did NOT have a good night last night - and it was impossible to miss, seated as he was behind Biden's shoulder - was House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-Jay-EE-Zuz!, LA). Watching the speech bolted to his seat with a permanent pout and occasional glancing at his phone in the hopes he wouldn't be caught by Kamala Harris or his son watching porn (ALLEGEDLY ) (eyeroll), Johnson helped Biden by responding to Biden's speech with a petulance and lack of leadership (witness how well Marge listened to his admonitions to NOT heckle Biden) that amplified the tenuous hold he has on the job.
-And yet, despite that performance, Mikey did NOT have the worst night as a MAGAt last night. For THAT honor, may I re-introduce to you - likely for the last time - to the OTHER Senator from Alabama, one Katie Britt. Tasked with the chore of giving the MAGAGOP response to Biden's barn burner, Britt sat primly with a giant diamond crucifix necklace in the seriously-you're-gonna-go-THERE? setting of a suburban kitchen, and proceeded to deliver a speech that will rival the infamy of Bobby Jindal's Loony Tunes entrance and Marco Rubio's desperate lunge for a baby water bottle in How To Kill Your Political Career While It Is Still In The Crib.
-Showing that her response was written without seeing a second of what Biden actually said and how he said it, Britt went for a vibe that could best be described as Chirpy von Overrehearsed. Vocally, Britt wildly veered between Tracy Flick on helium and Sally Field walking past onions - often within the same sentence fragment - while trying to recreate the MAGAGOP Hellscape Storyline of brown people roaming soccer fields for white women to ravage while Biden alternatively dozes in a senile haze and also managing the hordes roaming the country. The performance was so bad that it brought bipartisan savaging on social media and reports that professional campaign-workers on the GOP side were raging at her incompetence (though none will match Tom Arnold's comment that Britt "was so bad she couldn't be in one of MY movies!") ...
-... except for ONE person, the person to whom Britt and all MAGAts speak to exclusively and desperately for his absolution, and The Only Person That Matters to Them ... and happily for Britt, while the rest of the world laughed and mocked, she did receive the Complete and Total Endorsement of Dear Leader Ex-President Trump (R-apist) XCI, who after having to table his "live" SOTU response thanks to his Truth Social site "crashing" during Biden's speech, told Britt she was "a GREAT contrast to an Angry, and obviously very Disturbed, "President.""
-One other Rep who was Not Happy with Biden was Rep. Ronny Jackson (BouRbon, TX), who has been having a Not Good Week himself. After more stories emerged about what was apparently rampant and unregulated drug use in the White House while Jackson was Trump's primary doctor - due in apparently large part to Jackson or someone under his direction throwing arounds stimulants and depressants like M&Ms - it was also reported that, upon leaving the Navy in 2019 as a one-star Admiral, had that star stripped from him and demoted to Captain after reports that he drank on the job, screamed at subordinates, and 'acted inappropriately.' Jackson, who started as Barack Obama's doctor when Obama was President, has become one of Trump's loudest and most obnoxious defenders, and has pushed back on the drug abuse charges.
-Of course there's a ton more going on - in Gaza, on the Ukraine front, being better off four years ago according to Trump VP Desperately Wants-to-be Elise Stefanik, in LA with the Oscars, and losing an hour's sleep on Sunday - so let's luxuriate in last night and have a good Friday after finishing up reading today's update!
-On this date in 1917, the Revolution that ended the rule of Tsar Nicholas and brought to power the Soviet Union began. On this date in 1936, Daytona Beach hosted its first stock car race. On this date in 1971, Joe Frazier defeated Muhammad Ali, ending Ali's first comeback after suspension for resisting the Vietnam War draft. And on this date in 2014, Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 veered off course on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing and never made it to its destination - and no remains of the flight or its 239 people on board have ever been found.
-Debuts on this date: the New York Stock Exchange (1817), the Volkswagen bus (1950), the Fillmore East (1968), BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD (1993), FARGO (1996).
-Happy Birthday to Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., Alan Hale Jr., Carl Furillo, Cyd Charisse, Ron Taylor, Jim Bouton, Dick Allen, Lynn Redgrave, Mickey Dolenz, Randy Meisner, Carole Bayer Sager, John Kapelos, Gary Numan, Aidan Quinn, Lester Holt, Camryn Manheim, Shaun Gayle, Kenny Smith, Shawn Mullins, Gaz Coombes, Freddie Prinze Jr., James Van Der Beek, and Kat Von D.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Hector Berlioz, Millard Filmore, Ferdinand von Zeppelin, William Howard Taft, Sherwood Anderson, Harold Lloyd, George Stevens, Billy Eckstein, Ray Nitschke, Joe DiMaggio, Peggy Cass, William Wrigley III, George Martin, and Max Von Sydow.
-Feed the Worms: awful horrible terrible wide receiver Hines Ward entered Earth on this date. Gang member Bill the Butcher (a real person!) and Abu Abbas bought it on this date.