INTERNATIONAL BOOK GIVING DAY UPDATES

A Valentine of a Different Sort!

-There may be debate about the truth of the adage “Winning solves everything!” but after nearly a week where the Democratic Pha-REEK!-Out Machine was threatening to pop several gaskets (“WHY DIDN’T MERRICK GARLAND REWRITE THAT AWFUL REPORT? WHY AREN’T THERE 300 STORIES ABOUT TRUMP PUTTING A WELCOME MAT OUT FOR PUTIN AND EUROPE? WHY ISN’T JON STEWART SKEWERING TRUMP INSTEAD OF MORE JOE-BIDEN-BE-OLD BITS? WE’RE DOOOOOOMED (whimper) !?!!?!?!”), two special election results last night are providing a much-needed pressure release this morning …

-The big one, of course, was the NY-03 special election, where former Congressman Tom Suozzi defeated recently-converted MAGAt Mazi Pilip to flip the seat held by expelled “Rep.” “George Santos.” The race was interesting because Pilip attempted to use the border as the primary issue against Suozzi – only to see Suozzi flip the issue by hanging the Ex-President Trump XCI directive to House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-Jay-EE-Zuz!, LA) to kill the Senate immigration/foreign aid bill around Pilip’s neck, with the now-well-honed Dobbs abortion ban and Biden-esque plea for bipartisan action thrown in for good measure. The result was that the seat, gerrymandered to be pro-GOP and won in 2022 by 7%, completely flipped as Suozzi will likely win by about 8%.

-Of equal but lower-ballot importance was a PA State Representative race in which a Democratic loss would have meant a split legislature that could potentially put abortion rights in some jeopardy in that state – but, again, the true-since-2017 trend of Democratic overperformance came through when the name ‘Trump’ does not appear at the top of the ballot continued, as Democrat Jim Prokopiak annihilated Repub Candace Cabenas by a 2-1 margin in what is considered a swing district in the state. The win gives Dems a super-tight 102-100 PA House margin and preserves full Democratic control of the Governors seat and both legislative bodies. (Cue DJ Khalid at the DNC!)

-Will Republicans take note? Not likely. The MAGAGOP are fully controlled by Trump, who took to social media to denounce Pilip for not hugging Trump arse and smooching hard through the stain protectors enough to win (all while remaking the Republican National Committee by appointing as its co-chair failson wife and Worst Karaoke Tom Petty Singer Ever, Lara “I Married Eric – Why Are You Laughing?” Trump).

- Johnson, fresh off ekeing out a second ‘impeachment’ vote against Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas (narrow enough, by the way, that had Suozzi been there yesterday it would have failed a second time), now must figure out how to withhold aid to Ukraine (SLAVA UKRAINI!) and Israel while keeping the MAGA Caucus at arm’s length (Johnson is not on the House floor today, so Party Leader Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Z-Q-R, GA) has the gavel) (ergh!).

-One way Johnson will be serving to MAGA world is to allow them to bring hack Special Prosecutor Thomas “Yes I Can Stop Representing Steve Bannon and Write a Report on Joe Biden – How Do You Spell OLD Again?” Hur to the House to testify further to obscure Biden’s lack of criminality in Biden’s handling of classified documents (most of which were personal) and prosecute the fact that Biden is and continues to age. That the hearings fall in the purview of excretable Rep. Jim “Gym” Jordan (OtheR Way, OH) and have a now-deserved reputation of Democrats constantly dumping on top of the heads and appendages of the inept MAGAts on the Committee may allow Biden to do the age issue what Jamie Raskin, Jasmine Crockett, Jared Moskowitz and company did to the Hunter Biden issue. (Popcorn being readied …)

-Trump, is spending most of his week bouncing from court to court. The first stop was at out with favorite Judge Aileen Cannon in an effort to continue to gum up his ACTUAL criminal mishandling of super-classified documents, to be followed tomorrow in GA where an obscure defendant is attempting to use the personal relationship between Fulton County DA Fani Willis and a prosecutor on the Trump prosecution team to get the entire case thrown out over the relationship (even the witness filing the claim admits he has no evidence whatsoever of any connection between the two of them.) Trump presumably then goes back to NY Friday, where Judge Arthur Engoron is ready to issue his sentence on the Trump Organization fraud trial – and through it all is a Monday deadline for Special Prosecutor Jack Smith to address Trump’s filing to have SCOTUS hear whether Trump does indeed have MEGA-IMMUNITY! Before SCOTUS decides whether to hear the case in full.

-Happy Valentine’s Day, Donnie!

-As the newest wave of Covid dissipates, the CDC is considering another modification of what to do if one catches that flu. Current guidelines ask anyone who tests positive to mask and get meds and stay home until two consecutive tests turn up negative – usually five days or so. The new guidelines would eschew post-Covid testing and instead advise that someone who tests positive for Covid would be declared safe to return to society after being fever-free for at least 24 hours without medication (per the New York Times). These are the guidelines used in CA and OR and would represent the biggest change to Covid protocols since late 2021. The CDC has not made that decision yet.

-If you have had a hard time getting an Uber or a Lyft, it is because many of those drivers are staging a one-day walkout in protest of low wages and working conditions. Leaders of Uber (who reported their first profit) are claiming most riders will not notice. We shall see …

-In Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend news, Travis Kelce used his podcast to apologize for a screaming incident that happened in the first quarter of the Super Bowl where he bellowed in the face of AND bumped into Chiefs Head Coach Andy Reid. The photo instantly became a tremendous social media meme-generator but also created some controversy for the inopportune and (depending on your view) inappropriate expression of displeasure, and Kelce admitted he “crossed the line” in the moment and “immediately wished” he could take the moment back. Appearance completed, he then went on to inadvertently (or WAS IT?!) tick off MAGAts more when Variety reported a new movie Kelce is co-producing (titled “My Dead Friend Zoe”) is being co-produced with monies Kelce got thanks to renewable energy tax credits received by Kelce using renewable energy tax credits passed by President Biden. Kelce and his partners are also financing a documentary about artist Jean-Michel Basquiat, so get ready for more Bro-flake angst (heh heh heh heh …)

-In closing, as Major League Baseball training camps open in Arizona (including our hometown Cubs and White Sox), congratulations are in order to Jenny Cavnar, who was named to be the first-ever MLB female play-by-play announcer for the currently-still Oakland A’s. KUDOS!

-On this date in 1929, Al Capone ordered a massacre of rival gang members in a garage on North Clark Street in Chicago (seven were killed). On this date in 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwa against novelist Salman Rushdie.

-Debuts this week: the telephone (1876), the League of Women Voters (1920), penicillin (1920), Bela Lugosi’s DRACULA (1930), The ENIAC digital computer (1946), Richard Nixon’s secret White House taping system (1971), The B-52’s (1977), THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991), YouTube (2005).

-Happy Birthday to Frederick Douglass, Sakichi Toyoda, Jack Benny, Thelma Ritter, Mel Allen, Woody Hayes, Edward Platt, Hugh Downs, Skeezix, Murray the K, Lois Maxwell, Vic Morrow, Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion, Florence Henderson, Fannie Foxx, Donna Shalala, Paul Tsongas, Maceo Parker, Alan Parker, Carl Bernstein, Gregory Hines, Jackie Martling, Pat O’Brien, Teller, Sylvain Sylvain, Alan Hunter, Renee Fleming, Jim Kelley, Meg Tilly, Jeff Graham, Simon Pegg, Gheorge Muresan, Tommy Dreamer, Drew Bledsoe, Rob Thomas, Steve McNair, Danai Gurira, Richard Hamilton, Karol G, Christian Eriksen, and Freddie Highmore. (One of THOSE days!)

-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to St. Valentine (hence the holiday), Captain James Cook, William Tecumseh Sherman, Mordechai “Three Finger” Brown, P.G.Wodehouse, Frederick Lowe, Michael V. Gazzo, Dolly the cloned sheep, Doug Fieger, George Shearing, and Louis Jourdan.

-Feed the Worms: mobster Vito Genovese and Watergate conspirator John Ehrlichman bought it on this date.

-Jimmy Hoffa and Michael Bloomberg were born on this date. You decide if they get a Happy Birthday or if they Feed the Worms.