FIX YOUR WINDOWS AND DOORS DAY UPDATES

Okay! Okay! (Geez, I Hate it When Holidays Scold Me Like That …)

-Looks like I picked quite the weekend to hang out with the family for a really nice set of get-togethers, eh?

-Even in the Friday drive I was noticing what kind of chaos was churning, although like most when I saw that Trump had settled on one of his patented two-week timetables over whether to bomb Iran in support of Israel, I took it as an automatic that he would follow through as he had with his promises for an immigration bill, an Obamacare replacement, a COVID reopening, and of course the chestnut of all two-week Trump waits, the infrastructure bill!

-BUT, alas, I had not taken into consideration the previous two weeks, which have righteously dumped heaps of bad news and embarrassment on the White House. From the (thus far) successful fending off of ICE by the city of Los Angeles to the stalls on the Big Bill O’Crap, from the joyful millions at the No Kings rallies to the sad bare thousands at his Small Penis Birthday Parade, and the increased eye-rolling by anyone not in the MAGA cult reflecting in polling numbers worse for Trump than at any point in either term – a mortal wound for a man always needing external validation for whatever nano-moments of non-hatred he directs at himself – I did not take into account that the psychological need for Trump to do SOMEthing to bring whatever attention back on him would be too immense to resist, despite (or augmented by) his clear increasingly impaired mental (and political?) state.

-So, as I finished dinner with friends on Saturday evening with discussions about Trump, I made the fatal choice to glance at the bulletin on the phone and discovered that, son of a bi*ch, Trump green lit the bombing runs ostensibly against the Irani nuclear facilities – a textbook act of war on a country on another country that had not made any direct threat to deserve such an attack – and, with a sigh, prepared for the reactions … and, I must say, the reactions since, even for Trump, have been some of the most chaotic and wild I have ever seen out of the guy … and yes, I am fully aware of the magnitude of that statement, so let me try to trace the through line without cramping …

-FIRST, going back to the apparent motivation for calling the attack, the argument of Trump’s ego being bruised is backed by a New York Times account that adds a level of petty stupid that makes me confident in my assertion. The Times story reports Trump, watching Fox obsessively as he generally always does (because why listen to briefings from experts when Greg Gutfeld is right there for you?), became agitated at the coverage Benjamin Netanyahu was getting over Israel’s attacks on Iran over the last two weeks. According to the reports, Trump saw all that coverage and, in essence, wanted in on it. Thus his sudden response to reporters saying “Iran cannot have a bomb” where it was not before.

-Never mind reports that there was diplomacy going on in the background that would have brought back, in some form, the deal Iran struck with Barack Obama that went into place in 2015 and had, according to international inspectors, effectively made Iran stop any nuclear weapon development. Most likely, the form would have been striking out the name “Obama” and replacing it with the name “Trump” – a move that would have also given Trump a Nobel Peace Prize he had yowlchewed for in a press gaggle on Friday (where he said he should have at least six Peace Prizes) and was actually nominated for, reportedly by Pakistan. That deal was nothing compared to live coverage of big booms from weapons.

-Weapons that included the vaunted “bunker buster” bombs that were supposedly a key to any military attempt to destroy Iran’s nuclear capabilities. Those bombs can reportedly penetrate several hundred feet underground before exploding, though they had apparently never been used in the field since being developed. They were yearned for by Netanyahu, however, either in getting some for Israel to use (always prevented by other Presidents) or used on his behalf (which, according to many rumors, was something Bibi was trying to get Trump to do).

-So Trump reportedly met with Pentagon officials to plot the attacks – and did so without the presence of dangerously unstable loudmouth walking breathalyzer failure Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and over the loud objections of Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard, who on Friday sent two Stealth bombers from Kansas to Guam as a ‘warning’ that Trump was thinking about making the attacks. As we now know, those planes were likely a feint, and the call to bomb had been made by then – along with the mucho-mega-manly-macho title: Operation Midnight Hammer (cue either speed metal chords or gay porn background music since, let’s be honest, it also sounds like a movie title or club name).

-Because after the runs were made and completed, Trump soberly informed the world strutpreened through a live announcement (on the same carpet and location used by Obama to announce the death of Osama Bin Laden) featuring jockeying behind Dear Leader to Intern Vance, Secretary of State Rubio, and Hegseth be in the best camera angle social media with all-caps declarations of the Iran nuclear program being “COMPLETELY OBLITERATED” (no word on whether that was actually a description of Hegseth’s condition over the weekend) and that “PEACE” was now at hand and Iran better back off if it knew what was good for it or else, you betcha, and sit on its hands unless it wanted to depose the Ayatollah or something, and rally round the Commander in Chief!

-USA! USA! USA! U … S … ay …?

-Almost from the start, Trump’s braggadocio about essentially ending the Iran-Israel conflict was being slapped back by every angle. The concept that the raids totally ended Iran’s nuclear weapons program was contradicted first by Iran announcing they had moved every part of the program (including people and the nuclear materials that could be made into warheads) away from the long-known target cities of Esfahan, Fordow, and Natanz, then by satellite photos that showed craters from the bunker busters but other structures at sites still standing, and finally THIS JUST IN: CNN reports the Pentagon believes Iran’s program was set back “months” by the attacks, not “ANNIHILATED” as Trump claimed.

-There was also the matter that Israel kept bombing Iran and Iran kept bombing Israel – even as Trump was again bragging on Monday evening that a COMPLETE AND TOTAL CEASE-FIRE had been created between the countries, essentially by Trump himself. That Iran first said no such deal was created was followed by numerous counter-attacks between Iran and Israel exposed Trump’s claim as the joke it was, leading Trump to complaincurse that the two countries didn’t know “what the F**K they were doing!” before flying off to a NATO conference in The Hague (and no, it is not expected Trump will be taken into custody once he gets there).

-The hope by Trump that the flag with him wrapping himself in it would be rallied around was also quickly exposed as an empty hope. Polling in the hours right after the bombing showed no such patriotic bump in Trump favorability, nor were the actual bombing runs seen positively, even by Republicans. Sure, hardest-core MAGA will not care one whit what Trump said before about foreign entanglements (against), foreign wars (against) or American involvement in such wars (against) and only follow what he is doing in the moment, but commentators and influencers and MAGA leaders (Marjorie Taylor Greene?!) were bitterly divided and fearful over the bombing runs and what it means going forward for the country themselves, whether the danger was in terrorist attacks or electoral hopes.

-All of which has clearly made Trump even pissier than normal. Trump’s F-bomb was built on a series of ranting social media posts before and after the Iran runs, with particular focus on people who dared speak ill of Dear Leader, whether MAGA politicians like KY Rep. Thomas Massie or Democrats calling for impeachment and/or women of color – both of which include Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who Trump naturally called “stupid” (AOC was a National Science Foundation finalist in high school and carried a 3.8 GPA; Trump barely passed high school and was a legacy admission into Wharton School of Business, where one Professor called Trump “the dumbest goddamn student I ever had!”) – and that AOC should take another cognitive test as Trump claimed he recently did and passed again (HMMMM…).

-That social media post by Trump, by the way, was replied to by AOC, where she first told Trump not to “take (his) anger out of me – I’m just a silly girl” because “it only took you (Trump) 5 months to break almost every promise you made,” but then added “I’m a Bronx girl. You should know that we can eat Queens boys for breakfast. Respctfully.” No word on who picked up AOC’s mike.

-But with all the craziness of Iran still playing out – Trump reportedly told Netanyahu that, despite the ‘retaliation’ by Iran in a US base in Qatar yesterday, that no other attacks were scheduled by the US – that last note about AOC and New York allows me to close with a different piece of chaos playing out today: the New York City Democratic Mayoral Primary, where current Mayor Eric Adams was waiting for the results of, thanks to his decision to run for re-election as an independent after cutting a deal with Trump to allow more ICE agents into New York City in exchange for dropping corruption charges against Adams. With that backdrop, a crowded Democratic field emerged.

-Of the Democrats running, one name had the early and seemingly prohibitive lead: former New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo. Despite his own lengthy list of corrupt acts alleged (multiple reports of groping women) and presumed (not counting the number of seniors who died of COVID in senior centers), a name from a revered New York political family, massive financial war chest, paint-by-numbers ‘redemption’ arc, and list of endorsements from the too familiar (Bill Clinton, Rep. Jim Clybourn) to the infuriating (a number of female Democrats who previously condemned Cuomo for the me-too related reports) to the downright odd (former FRIENDS star David Schwimmer?), the campaign seemed to be a foregone if aggravating conclusion.

-That is, until his rose garden-esque strategy combined with many of the seven other candidates started to go after Cuomo’s spotty record, support for wealthy donors like the Blue Dog Democrat that he always has been, and general odiousness, opened a door for one of the other candidates to come in and at least make a game of the primary.

-That is where 33-year-old State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani, a member of the Democratic Socialist of America party, enters the discussion. Sporting tons of likeability, a grass roots army, super-clever marketing of himself, a boffo job at the last Mayoral Debate, and the voting system New York City uses for the primary – ranked-choice where you vote for a set of candidates where, if your first choice is not winning early in the process, those votes get thrown out and the second choice of those voters then get their voice counted to the master tally until one candidate has a majority.

-Later polls seem to indicate Mamdani is ahead, but many of his voters are not registered so until and unless they turn out, the suspicion is that Cuomo remains the favorite heading into November. We shall wait until tonight and possibly a few days as counting continues and second-third-fourth choices are counted, which is where new NBC political analyst Steve Kornacki (he moved on from MSNBC) gears up for what could be a few days of nirvana for Steve …

-I could use a few days off after that – but I’ve had ‘em. So let’s go on to the trivia of the day and gear up for … (gestures wildly) …

-NEWS ON THIS DATE: In 1812, Napoleon invaded Russia. (It did not go well.) In 1853, Frankin Pierce finalized the Gadsden Purchase, buying portions of what is now Arizona and New Mexico from Mexico. In 1948, Soviets began a blockade of aid to West Berlin. In 1993, a mail bomb injured a Yale University professor, bringing attention to who would eventually be called The Unabomber. In 2022, the radical Supreme Court took away a women’s right to choose to have an abortion in what will be known as the historical mistake of the Dobbs decision.

-DEBUTS ON THIS DATE: The Masonic Lodge (1717), “O Canada” (1880), a woman signing a million-dollar contract (Mary Pickford, 1916), reports of unidentified flying saucers (1947), television westerns (1949), THE REPLACEMENTS STINK (1982).

-HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Ambrose Bierce, Jack Dempsey, Phil Harris, Juan Manuel Fangio, Norman Cousins, Al Molinaro, Jack Carter, Billy Casper, Pete Hamill, Georg Stanford Brown, Jeff Beck, Terry Donahue, Colin Bluestone, Robert Reich, Clarissa Dickson Wright, Mick Fleetwood, Peter Weller, John Ilsley, Nancy Allen, Doug Jones, Juli Inkster, Curt Smith, Claudia Scheinbaum, Gary Suter, Sherry Stringfield, Mindy Kaling, JJ Redick, Solange Knowles, Lionel Messi, and Erin Moriarty.

-REST IN PEACE/POWER: Lucrezia Borgia, Grover Cleveland, Jackie Gleason, Brian Keith, Paul Winchell, Eli Wallach, Bernie Worrell, and Billy Drago.

-CULTURE ON THIS DATE: The number one movie in America on this date … in 2025, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON … in 2015, JURASSIC WORLD … in 2005, BATMAN BEGINS … in 1995, POCAHONTAS … in 1985, COCOON … and in 1975, JAWS.

-TODAY’S MUSICAL INTERLUDE: The first single from the album, released on this date in 1994 …