DITCH NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION DAY UPDATES

Featuring Various Models of Decorum and Tranquility

-Authorities in NM arrested and charged former state House candidate Solomon Pena with conspiracy to hire four men who attempted to kill several state and local Democratic leaders in that state. Pena is a Republican and proud supporter of Ex-President Trump (even sporting a MAGA jacket with Trump’s signature embroidered in gold thread in a social media photo) who lost his race in November by a 74%-26% margin – but who railed against what he claimed (with no evidence) was a “stolen” election, boasting that he never conceded the race he clearly lost. At least five others were implicated in four shootings across the state, all directed against Democrats. Authorities describe Pena as “the mastermind” behind the plot.

-Meanwhile, the Washington Post reports more ties have been found between the cousin of a Russian oligarch currently sanctioned for his continued support of Vladimir Putin and “Rep.” “George Santos” (“R”, “NY”). Specifically, the oligarch is reported to have sent over $600,000 to a company that “Santos” has been tied to in the months prior to “Santos’” run for the House in 2022. There have also been questions raised about exactly when Kevin McCarthy (SINO-R, CA) was made aware of the voluminous questions surrounding “Santos,” which are making his statements that he would expel “Santos” from the House even more iffy, particularly given the thin margin and UltraMAGA connections “Santos” has displayed (and which McCarthy must tend to in order to maintain the gavel).

-Elsewhere in legislative news … the GOP-controlled OK legislature is considering trying to ban Ukrainian troops from coming to their state to be trained to use Patriot anti-aircraft missiles out of fear that doing so would lead to terrorist attacks in his state (the only terrorist attack in OK was the right-wing militia bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in 1995, killing 168) … MeidasTouch reports the GOP-controlled legislature in WY are contemplating a ban on electric vehicles to help protect that state’s oil and natural gas industries (as the GOP universally promote the use of gas stoves) (don’t ask) … and the GOP-controlled legislature in MO has followed up one of the most restrictive abortion bans in the country with a directive forbidding women from wearing sleeveless dresses and blouses in the MO house, because … lust, apparently …

-Worldwide markets were rocked by an official report out of China that, for the first time in over 60 years, the population of China declined, officially losing nearly 2 million people in 2022. Demographic trends indicate a rapidly-aging Chinese population that, by 2030, could have more than 1/3 of it over 60 – and that may not factor what many experts believe is the true toll of COVID in that country, where it is believed the combination of ineffective vaccines, exhaustion from a “zero COVID” policy that led to forced quarantines and, just in the last few weeks, total elimination of any COVID mitigation policies has led to far, far more than even the current reported rates of 60,000 total COVID deaths. Given how much manufacturing had been moved to that country in the last few decades, the economic implications of both the drying up of that labor force and (not far behind) that market can be profound – and may already be being felt with the supply chain shocks of the last two years.

-Meanwhile, in the kind of show of decorum and unity the UltraMAGA Caucus will likely continue and nurture in the days and weeks to come, The Daily Beast reports the opening day of the 118th Congress was marked with a “near … screaming match” between former BFFs turned mortal enemies Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Z-Q-R, GA) and Lauren Boebert (N-DurrR-A, CO) in the House ladies room. Allegedly, Greene was in a stall and then, when Boebert came in, (switch to 80s valley-girl dialect) asked why Boebs wasn’t loyal to KEV-in with all the money KEV-in gave” Boebs and then “refuse to vote for him for Speaker” – and then Lauren said “Don’t be ugly!” and THEN Lauren “ran out (of the bathroom) like a little schoolgirl!” (End dialect). Neither Boebert or Greene are commenting, and another witness, Rep. Debbie Dingell (D-MI) would only say “What happens in the ladies room stays in the ladies room.”

-As IF!

-On this date in 1893, a group of American sugar planters led by one Sanford Ballard Dole overthrew the last monarch of the then-nation of Hawaii. On this date in 1916, the Professional Golf Association (PGA) was formed. On this date in 1953, Chevrolet debuted the Corvette. On this date in 1961, Dwight Eisenhower delivered one of the more famous final speeches in Presidential history, warning of a ‘military-industrial complex’ that threatened the world. And on this date in 1994, a former AR state clerk named Paula Jones accused then-President Bill Clinton of sexual harassment, filing a lawsuit that set off a chain of events that would lead to Clinton’s impeachment.

-Happy Birthday to Benjamin Franklin, Catherine Booth, Cus D’Amato, Betty White, Newton Minow, Eartha Kitt, Vidal Sassoon, Jacques Plante, Don Zimmer, Douglas Wilder, James Earl Jones, Shari Lewis, Maury Povich, Kip Keino, Muhammad Ali, Mick Taylor, Andy Kaufman, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Steve Earle, Paul Young, Steve Harvey, Susanna Hoffs, Jim Carrey, Sebastian Junger, Cyrus Chestnut, Michelle Obama, Shabba Ranks, Jeremy Roenick, Zooey Deschanel, Dwayne Wade, and Jake Paul.

-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Rutherford B. Hayes, Juliette Gordon Low, Gregory Corso, Richard Crenna, Virginia Mayo, Art Buchwald, Bobby Fischer, Erich Segal, Don Kirshner, Johnny Otis, Marty Springstead, and Yvette Mimieux.

-Feed the Worms: Mobsters Arnold Rothstein (the 1919 World Series fixer) and Al Capone (of Al Capone fame) and play-acting-as-white-trash white trash Robert James Ritchie – aka Kid Rock - entered Earth on this date. Gary Gilmore was executed on this date.