CURMUDGEONS DAY UPDATE
Read This and Stay Off My Lawn!
-Like a pest under the floorboards that evades traps and poisons and your foot, Ex-President Trump hit the ‘campaign trail’ yesterday with his first two 2024 campaign ‘speeches’ in early GOP primary states New Hampshire and South Carolina. Despite polling that currently has him far behind FL Gov. Ron DeSantis and an actual lineup of potential primary foes (reportedly including former SC Gov. Nikki Haley, current SD Gov. Kristi Noem, former VP Mike Pence, and former Secretary of State Ron Pompeo), Trump ground out his Greatest Hits in both locations by griping about having the 2020 election stolen from him (it was not), decrying the condition of the economy (which has rebounded surprisingly strongly in the last several months), continuing to insist he would never have allowed Vladimir Putin to invade Ukraine (likely because he would have been an ally of the man who allegedly promised him a Trump Tower in Moscow) (Slava Ukraini!), and adding his normal batch of malapropisms, run-on sentences, and jaw-dropping claims (the big one that the army of Iran cannot fight at night because it does not have “binoculars”).
-Analysts continue to believe Trump’s primary reason for running is to use the campaign as a shield against any number of potential prosecutions against him, which the Department of Justice and others have promised will not be the case. Indictment Watch continues …
-Meanwhile, one other person watching Trump with stars in her eyes and hope in her heart is reportedly UltraMAGA GOP House Party Leader Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Z-Q-R, GA). A number of reports indicate that one of her primary motives in aligning herself with Rep. Kevin McCarthy (SINO, CA) is to catch Trump’s attention in the hopes of becoming his running mate in 2024 – and even a Presidential candidate herself in 2028. To do so will require a bit more than arguing for a ban on Jewish space lazers, though – it will require some legislative leadership, and on that score her first attempt fell flat. A motion by Greene to ban the White House from using the nation’s strategic oil reserve to stem the tide of rising gas prices – a move Biden made with apparent success – won only 14 votes, the derision of Greene arch-nemesis Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-Squad, NY), and probably a chuckle from Dark Brandon himself. Still, Greene’s ambition has now been unleased in DC, and whether we want to or not, we will need to watch and watch out …
-Back to Iran, where a series of attacks this morning has left several of its military sites, particularly factories that manufacture drone missiles that Russia has been buying to attack Ukraine with, in flames and ruins. There is some belief that Israeli jets made the attacks, and there is little question the attacks may again leave Russia teetering as Western countries continue to restock the Ukraine military, fierce fighting continues in easter Ukrainian provinces, and a potentially decisive counter-offensive in Russian-occupied Crimea looms.
-The police video of five Memphis police officers attacking, tazing, pepper spraying, chasing, kicking, and beating 29-year old Tyre Nichols to death continues to stun most in the country. The five officers have been arrested and charged with murder, and the “special unit” within the Memphis Police Department that the men were recruited for has been disbanded, with advocates for police reforms again asking for federal action, most notably with the George Floyd Police Reform Act, which is not expected to make much headway in Congress, particularly as the MAGA-led House is more interested in prosecutions of Hunter Biden and Dr. Anthony Fauci, and supporting states looking to suppress African-American studies programs.
-Meanwhile, how’s Twitter doing? Well, to give you a hint, reports show that bot programs have linked actress Margot Robbie to an NBA player (the Cleveland Cavliers’ own Darius Garland!), at least six Major League Baseball players, and even Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred – and all the bots cite TMZ as their source. So either TMZ has a very active camp in a Russian troll farm or someone in Margot Robbie’s PR department (or MLB’s, for that matter) have some explaining to do.
-Again, knowing when a story can’t be topped is key to a good Substack – and by the way, if you go to A SUBSTACK BY A GUY NAMED JOE, you will find a “subscription” link available, which for now I am using as a virtual tip jar for anyone who would like to. Right now there isn’t exclusive content available but if it grows, that just may have to change. I have had a couple such tips already so THANK YOU to you that have done so! (And these updates will continue, though there may come a time where I will simply link the entire update to Substack just to be neat).
-But not yet! So …
-Speaking of baseball, in 1936 the Baseball Hall of Fame inducted its first set of members, among them Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Matthewson, Babe Ruth and Honus Wagner. On this date in 1964, DR. STRANGELOVE premiered. On this date in 1996, CATS became the longest-running musical ever. (The news can’t all be good, people.) And on this date in 2002, George W. Bush labelled Iran, Iraq, and North Korea “the Axis of Evil.”
-Happy Birthday to Thomas Paine, William McKinley, Anton Chekhov, W.C. Fields, Ernst Lubitsch, Victor Mature, John Forsythe, Paddy Chayefsky, Leslie Bricusse, Germaine Greer, Claudine Longet, Tom Selleck, Bettye LaVette, Tommy Ramone, Handsome Dick Manitoba, Oprah Winfrey, Greg Louganis, Steve Sax, Nicholas Turturro, Andre Reed, Dominik Hasek, Stacey King, Heather Graham, Sara Gilbert, Adam Lambert, and Marc Gasol.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Sara Teasdale, H.L. Mencken, Robert Frost, Alan Ladd, Freddie Prinze, Jimmy Durante, Willie Dixon, Dick “Night Train” Lane, Harold Russell, Barbaro, Margaret Truman, Tom Brookshire, Milton Babbitt, Colleen McCullough, Rod McKuen, Jacques Rivette, James Ingram, and Howard Hesseman.
-Feed the Worms: Former House Speaker and Ayn Rand acolyte Paul Ryan (R-WI) entered Earth on this date. The last King of the United States (and it better stay that way!) George III died on this date.