CLEAN COMEDY DAY UPDATES
Drat! Darn! Rats! Poop! Fornicate It!!!
-While you were going about your lives, more stories involving potential ethical issues surrounding Supreme Court justices emerged. There are the continued issues between Clarence Thomas and a couple of people (billionaire Harlan Crow and the apparent involvement of his wife Ginni in schemes to keep Ex-President Trump in power after Trump lost the 2020 election) and, if you remember, a question over Samuel Alito revealing his abortion rights-killing Dobbs decision to anti-abortion activists before it was released, but in the last week it also emerged that an attorney with a law firm with cases before the Court purchased property owned by Justice Neil Gorsuch - and Gorsuch did not disclose the purchaser's name, and this morning the Guardian reported again on gaps in the investigation of Brett Kavanaugh's potential abuse of women (as a documentary about that subject awaits release).
-All these issues have piqued Democrats in the Senate, yet Chief Justice John Roberts has declined an invitation to testify and talk about just why Roberts does not seem interested in something as relatively easy as the creation of a code of ethics for SCOTUS, which ironically is the only such court in the nation without such a code. It makes polling revealing little confidence in the legitimacy of its rulings puzzling, don't it?
-Speaking of court proceedings, E. Jean Carroll gets a three-day weekend in her defamation trial against Trump after two days of testimony in which she discussed what she describes as Trump raping her in the mid-1990s. The testimony was emotional, harrowing, and under the cross-examination of Trump attorney Joe Tacopina, contentious, with Tacopina pushing Trump's claim that the rape never happened by trying to use Carroll's claim she never screamed during attack as 'proof' that Carroll was lying about the claim (to which Carroll responded, "He raped me whether I was screaming or not"). The judge in the case, Lewis Kaplan, was equally withering in sustaining numerous objections made by Carroll's attorney and admonishing Tacopina's cross-examination tactics - which, according to Tacopina, may continue through the entire week next week, as it is unlikely Trump will not testify himself.
-In part, Trump will not be at Carroll's trial because he is very busy 'campaigning,' which he did in New Hampshire yesterday. Aside from telling his followers that he has decided to stop calling Hillary Clinton "Crooked Hillary" and start calling Joe Biden "Crooked Joe" (because both Joe and Hunter Biden run a prostitution ring out of China - just ask Marjorie Taylor Greene) and continuing to gush about his man-crush North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, Trump stopped at a local diner to sign the backpack of Trump uber-supporter Micki Larson-Olson. The backpack Trump signed was carried into the capital by her on January 6, 2021, as part of the insurrection. Larson-Olson is a known QAnon follower who was convicted of defying police orders on that date, and even after her sentence has said in interviews she hopes politicians who voted to certify Biden's win will be executed for their vote. Trump has vowed to defend and pardon anyone who participated in the insurrection should he be returned to power.
-To that end, conservative social media have went nuts after it was revealed that Biden - who, remember, is also the head of a sinister crime family - brought a cheat sheet of notes with reporters' names and potential questions with him during a press event with the visiting South Korean President, proof that the head of the prostitution cabal is also a doddering old man who doesn't know the time of day (never mind Trump has been seen with those notes multiple times and that those notes are standard operating procedures). Polling still shows Biden beating Trump in 2024.
-On the eve of both Russian celebrations of the end of World War II and the continued anticipation of a counteroffensive by Ukrainian forces, major cities in Ukraine sustained missile attacks last night that killed at least 12 throughout the country. Amid reports that Russia is adapting cruise missiles to avoid air defenses while preserving what is believed to be still-depleted munition stocks, continued questions about Vladimir Putin's grip on power continue to rumble underneath the surface, as are Russian officials whoever walk by windows.
-SLAVA UKRAINI!
-Like it or not, the White House Correspondence Dinner takes place this weekend. The sometimes controversial event raises funds used to promote First Amendment rights, and President Biden and Vice President Harris are expected to attend, which this year will be hosted by DAILY SHOW correspondent Roy Wood Jr. and feature a "cold open" by former CA Governor and Hollywood star Arnold Schwarzenegger, and will feature sets by the President and Vice President - er, I mean, they will give speeches and try to be relatively in the process.
-On this date in 1789, Captain William Bligh and 18 of his officers were removed from his ship, the Bounty, by mutineer Fletcher Christian. On this date in 1967, Muhammad Ali informed the U.S. Army that he would not enlist, citing his conscientious objection to the conflict in Vietnam and his Muslim faith as the reasons. On this date in 1970, Richard Nixon signed off on attacks in Cambodia, an event which would trigger the deadliest anti-war protests of the era. On this date in 2003, the iTunes Music Store came online. And on this date in 2004, CBS first reported on the torture of Iraqi prisoners at the hands of American troops (and, according to several reports, witnessed by now-FL Gov. Ron DeSantis while DeSantis served as an attorney in the Navy) in a prison in the town of Abu Ghraib.
-Happy Birthday to James Monroe, Lionel Barrymore, Oskar Schindler, Ferruccio Lamborghini, Blossom Dearie, Harper Lee, Carolyn Jones, Ann-Margaret, Alice Waters, Bruno Kirby, Jay Leno, Willie Colon, Terri Hemmert, Kim Gordon, Justice Elena Kagan, Barry Larkin, John Daly, Mark Carrier, Penelope Cruz, Drew and Jonathan Scott, Jessica Alba, and Denzel Ward.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Jim Valvano, Rory Calhoun, Lou Thesz, Tommy Newsom, Jack Ramsay, and Astronaut Michael Collins.
-Feed the Worms: Saddam Hussein (along with his advisor Tariq Aziz) entered Earth on this date. Archduke Ferdinand assassin Gavrilo Princip and Benito Mussolini bought it on this date.
-Former Secretary of Treasury (under Reagan) and State (under HW Bush) James Baker was born on this date. You decide if it is a Happy Birthday or if he Feeds the Worms.