NATIONAL ZOO LOVERS DAY UPDATES
If You Could Talk To The Animals Today, This Is A Good Day To Do It - Tell Them The Eclipse Is No Big Deal!
-After a round of hype that claimed a Major Proclamation was about to be made, Ex-President Trump (R-apist) LXXXVIII released a video in which, plastered in dull orange makeup that clearly did not go to his ears or bottom of his throat, re-enforced the radical right SCOTUS decision that killed Roe v. Wade and made abortion rights the providence of each state. Trump claimed in the video that is his new stance and that he wants exceptions for rape and incest – but at the same time again bragged how he, Donald J. Trump, killed Roe v. Wade (while also continuing his vile lie that Democrats are pro-abortion “after the birth of the baby”).
-The video can rightfully be considered a dog whistle to the MAGAts hoping to start with a full national abortion ban and quickly move to bans on birth control and even no-fault divorce, as some Red states have already done, especially given Trump being someone whose word means nothing from the standpoint of truth. The video is already being seized by the White House as a way to remind all voters what Trump did in relation to women’s rights – as the end of Roe has become a deserved albatross on Republicans nationally, thanks to Donald Trump – Roe Killer.
-Congress is back from its Easter Break, and with it quite a stacked agenda – some items vitally important (focus on Speaker-for-the-Moment Mike Johnson (R-Jay-EE-Zuz!, LA) and his ‘schedule’ for bringing a Ukraine aid bill to the floor) (SLAVA UKRAINI!)), others utterly ridiculous (the “impeachment” of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas, brought by the House MAGAts instead of passing a border security bill, that is going less than nowhere in the Senate), and still others merely trolling (MAGAts in the House hoping to change Dulles Airport’s name to Trump Airport – countered by FL Rep. Jared Moskowitz (FL) and KY Rep. Gerry Connolly (KY) asking to rename something more appropriate for Trump: a Federal prison). Gird your loins for what is to come …
-House Speaker Emeritus Nancy Pelosi joined President Biden and Majority Leader Schumer in demanding Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu end military actions in Palestine at least long enough for desperately-needed humanitarian aid to be sent to the country or risk the end of military support for the country. While stopping short of what many on Biden’s left is demanding, the unity of the three Democratic party leaders is unprecedented, as is the continued pressure on Israel in the wake of the deaths of seven World Central Kitchen volunteers by Israeli forces.
-Meanwhile, several news reports have expressed concern about Iran and any potential military reaction it may embark on in the wake of an Israeli attack that left a high Irani military officer dead. The attack has yet to be retaliated against, and the fear is that Iran may attempt a retaliation via a direct attack on Israel itself – an event that may very well trigger a wider conflict in the region. Officials in the White House are reportedly working to stave off such a conflict, allegedly while in conact with Iran itself, but the area and the Biden Administration remains on edge with what Iran may do …
-With one week to go until his first criminal trial – involving a six-figure cash payment to porn star Stormy Daniels to conceal a ten-minute sexual encounter story from being published in 2016 – Trump is likely to try a couple of last-gasps attempts to stall the trial from starting. THIS JUST IN – Trump has announced he is suing Judge Juan Merchan over Merchan’s gag order (that Trump has already seemingly violated) and demand to change the venue from New York City to a more favorable venue, like Moscow. The move is expected to fail, and some observers note that there may be one more trick Trump could try: firing this round of bad attorneys and attempting to hire a new set of bad attorneys who of course would need years to come up to speed due to the horrific complexity of this trial. If it is tried, expect it to fail as well – and pop that popcorn!
-Happy Eclipse to those of you who will be in a literal position to experience it! In olden times, the disappearance of the sun in the middle of the day (with accompanying temperature drop) has often freaked people out enough to make some accuse others of being witches and warlocks and whatnot – so it should not be a surprise that there are some in MAGA-land who are adhering to the same ancient tropes. Those tropes apparently have worried Arkansas Governor Sarah HUCKAbee Sanders (R, duh!) to the point where she has declared Martial Law during the eclipse, which will end tomorrow. Sister Sarah apparently even dressed for the occasion, showing up for the press conference wearing a gingham-patterned dress and cowboy boots and reportedly heading to a HEE-HAW audition afterwards.
-Perhaps none exemplify this old-school fear and lunacy more than one Brian Green, a ‘reporter’ for the One American News MAGA propaganda site best known for currently schtupping MAGA leader Marjorie Taylor Greene (Z-Q-R, GA). In a widely-circulated-because-of-its-buffoonery video, warned those who dared that “this (past) weekend may be the last normal one we ever have!” because the combination of today’s eclipse and last week’s New York/New Jersey earthquake (which – and this is apparently true! – had its epicenter around Trump’s Jersey golf club) is likely to bring The Rapture for those who believe, so Be Ready!
-Green’s boff partner Marge reiterated this, posting on social media that this combination is definitely a signal to non-MAGAts to “repeeeeenht!” though it’s unclear whether that includes Marge and her boy toy, who reportedly started boffing together while both were still married to other partners and after Marge cucked her husband with a Crossfit trainer who boasts of being “a Tantric sex guru” (and was last seen over the weekend sporting a Mohawk and gold lame tights, befitting any Tantric sex guru out there). Should the Rapture not occur, look for Marge to be one of the presenters of the previously-mentioned Mayorkas ‘impeachment’ and to work to oust Johnson for daring to support Ukraine over BFF Vladimir Putin …
-You will need to get all those sights out of your head, so take a walk and enjoy the eclipse if you can – just don’t look straight into the sun like SOME former Presidents we can talk about …
-On this date in 1917, the Seventeenth Amendment that called for Senators to be elected by popular vote was ratified. On this date in 1920, the Venus De Milo statue – sans arms – was discovered on the island of Melos. On this date in 1974, Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth’s home run record by hitting his 715th in his career. Also on this date in 1974, a “super outbreak” of over 300 tornadoes touched down throughout the Great Lakes and South, killing 335. And on this date in 1993, Ellen Ochoa became the first Hispanic woman to fly into space.
-Premieres on this date: the Works Progress Administration (WPA, 1937), the first black manager in baseball (Frank Robinson in Cleveland, 1975), TOYS IN THE ATTIC (1975), THE CLASH (1977), TWIN PEAKS (1990).
-Happy Birthday to Buddah, Mary Pickford, Yip Harburg, Sonja Henie, Betty Ford, Carmen McRae, Edward Mulhare, Shecky Greene, Fred Ebb, Jacques Brel, Kofi Annan, John Havlicek, Vivienne Westwood, Douglas Trumbull, Leon Huff, Michael Bennett, Jim “Catfish” Hunter, Steve Howe, Jim Lampley, Gary Carter, Barbara Kingsolver, Gerrie Coetzee, Richard Hatch, Izzy Stradlin, Donita Sparks, Julian Lennon, Lisa Guerrero, Robin Wright, Patricia Arquette, Taylor Kitsch, Ezra Koenig, Mattie Healy, and CeeDee Lamb.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Elisha Otis, F.W. Woolworth, Vaslav Nijinsky, Pablo Picasso, Ford C. Frick, Omar Bradley, Ryan White, Marian Anderson, Laura Nyro, Claire Trevor, Malcolm McLaren, Annette Funicello, The Ultimate Warrior, and Michael Lerner.
-Feed the Worms: fountain of use Eurpoean ‘explorer’ Ponce de Leon, mega-crooked Rep. Tom DeLay and Sen. Ron Johnson (R-ussia, WI), Duke Boy turned MAGAt John Schneider, and MAGAt rapping one-hit wonder Biz Markie entered Earth on this date. To the eternal joy of so many, Margaret Thatcher finally bought it on this date.
-Arts patron for family of monsters Lorenzo de’Medici died on this date. You decide if he Rests in Power or if he Feeds the Worms.