-The White House Correspondents Dinner – aka “Nerd Prom” – was held in DC last night, and featured SNL Weekend Update co-’anchor’ Colin Jost, by most reports, did not disappoint, like mentioning nerd prom and then adding “Except for Matt Gaetz, who is at an actual prom.” “How refreshing it is,” Jost observed, “to see a President of the United States at an event that doesn’t begin with a bailiff saying ‘All Rise’?” Not to mention that every sketch of Trump in court “looks like the Grinch had sex with the Lorax.”
-President Biden also launched comic bon mots at the man who claims to have decided to run for President after being the butt of President Obama’s jokes. Biden pointed out the age difference by noting “I’m running against a six-year-old!” and that he and Trump are different because “my Vice President actually endorses me!” He also became an amateur weatherman by predicting “stormy weather ahead” for Trump, but ended his routine on a more serious note by asking the collected mega-gaggle of reporters to actually report on what Ex-President Trump (R-apist) LXXXVIII intends to do if given power again (and a sincere thank-you from Jost for winning his grandfather’s vote because “you (Biden) are a decent man.”
-Trump being the jovial devil-may-care guy that he is, he took the entire evening in the way only he can, posting in response “The White House Correspondents Dinner was really bad. Colin Jost BOMBED, and Crooked Joe was an absolute disaster! Doesn’t get much worse than this!”
-Trump has also spent time continuing to moan and wail against the ongoing criminal trial in New York over his payment of $130K to catch and kill the Stormy Daniels sexual minute they had together. Two more witnesses – including a former executive assistant admitting she entered Daniels’ phone number into Trump’s phone, and a banker who corroborated earlier testimony about a fund created to catch and kill other Trump affair stories with the knowledge of former Trump attorney Michael Cohen, which prosecutors hope sets up the events that comprise the alleged crimes in question.
-Trump’s chronic complaints about the trial – about how it is “ELECTION INTERFERENCE” that he can’t campaign while the trial is going on (he still has weekends, and cancelled an appearance in North Carolina because of “weather”), that “every legal expert” calls the charges empty and not crimes (he is talking about people like Trump hack Jonathan Turley and Alan “Underwear!” Dershowitz), and that the decrepit and so-senile-he-doesn’t-know-where-he-is-at Biden is orchestrating every detail of the trial, right down to the temperature of the courtroom itself. Since day one, Trump has complained and complained and complained about how cold he was and how cold it is – and it should be noted that nobody else is complaining about a chill, though there may be some speculation that Trump’s constant dozing off could result in his discomfort.
-Trump may take some solace in a new CNN poll this morning that claims he has a shocking 49%-43% national lead on Biden – a result that, given the preponderance of polling nationally over the last few weeks, may very well be an outlier (and reflected by CNN’s own headlines that do not give the margin as part of it, at least as of the drafting of this update).
-The ‘race’ to be Trump’s Vice President is on in full, and with it different ways candidates will use to differentiate themselves from the Party Dear Leader. On that score, one of the most prominent candidates has released a story that is already approaching legendary status for its brazenness and cruelty … with the world waiting to see whether it will work.
-The story centers around South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, generally presumed to be on the short list of potential Veeps, and it also centers around one of Trump’s favorite putdowns: that enemies and other opponents and women he deems are not worthy of his magic mushroom are “dogs” (and, as we should be reminded, was one of the only Presidents if not the only President not to have a pet of any kind in the White House).
-The story: in her new biography, Noem talks about a 14-month-old German wirehaired pointer named Cricket, who she claimed was “untrainable” because Cricket was “having the time of her life” on a pheasant-hunting trip, then escaped their home to kill some nearby chickens and bite Noem. To show how Noem can make “difficult, messy, and ugly” decisions, Noem writes she took Cricket to a nearby gravel pit and shot the dog dead.
-For good measure, Noem also writes in her book that she shot and killed a goat for being “old and smelly” and mean to other family members as well.
-The reaction to Noem’s murder of Cricket has been loud, surprisingly bipartisan, and deservedly condemning of Noem – who, it should also be said in a way in a spirit that should not at all be thought of as gratuitous or piling on, has also been allegedly carrying on a multi-year affair with former Trump advisor and credibly-accused woman abuser Corey Lewandowski. The one person whose opinion may matter the most given the situation – Trump – is not yet known.
-Give your pet an extra treat in Cricket’s memory.
-And Fck Kristi Noem.
-After that we need a cleanser, so we’ll go with Sportsball Media News, where there is more evidence that streaming is truly becoming the premiere method of consuming television. The NBA and Amazon have come to what is being called a “working agreement” to become a partner as the next set of media rights with the league are being negotiated. The deal will reportedly include conference finals, and they will be one of three ‘partners’ with the NBA. The second NBA media partner will continue to be ESPN/ABC, which came to an agreement to continue their agreement, which will reportedly include NBA Finals presentation.
-That sets up a bidding war for the NBA’s third partner between NBC/Peacock (NBC had NBA rights through the 1990s) and Discovery/TNT, which has been showing NBA games since 1984 and boasts arguably the best pre- and post-game show in all of sports, INSIDE THE NBA with Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley, Shaquille O’Neill and Kenny Smith. In fact, with NBC reportedly very interested in getting the rights, one of the emergent concerns has been what would happen to INSIDE THE NBA if TNT loses the rights.
-Stay tuned!
-On this date in 1789, Captain William Bligh and 18 officers of the British ship Bounty were removed after a mutiny led by Mate Fletcher Christian. On this date in 1881, Billy the Kid escaped from prison. On this date in 1967, Muhammad Ali refused to enlist in the U.S. Army for religious reasons. On this date in 2004, CBS showed the first evidence of torture of Iraqi prisoners by American troops in the Abu Ghraib prison. And on this date in 2009, General Motors announced the end of Pontiac.
-Debuts on this date: first ‘motor’ race (by motorized bike, 1887), nighttime flight by airplane (1910), color television sets (1928), commercial flights across the Pacific Ocean (1937), Luciano Pavarotti at La Scala (1965), multiracial elections in South Africa (1994), iTunes (2003).
-Happy Birthday to James Monroe, Lionel Barrymore, Oskar Schindler, Blossom Dearie, Harper Lee, Carolyn Jones, Ann-Margaret, Alice Waters, Elizabeth LeCompte, Glen Campbell, Marcia Strassman, Bruno Kirby, Willie Colon, Kim Gordon, Justice Elena Kagan, Barry Larkin, Mark Carrier, Penelope Cruz, Drew and Jonathan Scott, Jessica Alba, and Denzel Ward.
-Rest in Peace/Rest in Power to Mary Read, Ed Begley Sr., Ken Curtis, Jim Valvano, Rory Calhoun, Lou Thesz, Tommy Newsom, Jack Ramsay, Jack Ely, and Michael Collins.
-Feed the Worms: Chicago Outfit boss Tony “Big Tuna” Accardo, Saddam Hussein aide Tariq Aziz and Aziz’ boss Saddam Hussein entered Earth on this date. Assassin Gavrilo Princip and Benito Mussolini bought it on this date.
-Jay Leno and John Daly were born on this date. You decide if they get Happy Birthdays or if they Feed the Worms.
-The Number One Album in America on this date … in 2024, WE DON’T TRUST YOU by Future and Metro Boomin … in 2014, the FROZEN Original Motion Picture Soundtrack … in 2004, CONFESSIONS by Usher … in 1994, THE DIVISION BELL by Pink Floyd … in 1984, the FOOTLOOSE Motion Picture Soundtrack … and in 1974, CHICAGO VII by Chicago.